Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Hello, I saw you say that there is a kind of paper that is transparent and can be printed on. What kind of paper is this? thank you
Hello, I saw you say that there is a kind of paper that is transparent and can be printed on. What kind of paper is this? thank you
Wesley has always been thin, and her brother Percy forced her to drink some potions. In the next few hours, smoke kept coming out from under her bright red hair, and people who don't know why thought her whole head was on fire
For several days, raindrops pounded the windows of the castle day and night like bullets. The lake rose, and the soil in the flower base was washed away a lot, making the whole road muddy. Hagrid's pumpkin kept growing like a shed under the rain. But Oliver. Wood's enthusiasm for Kuaidi training was not affected by the weather, which is why Harry was soaked to the skin on a stormy weekend night a few days before Halloween.
Even in normal times, practicing fastball is not a comfortable thing. Fred and George are in charge of Slytherin detective team. They saw the power of Zbol with their own eyes and reported that it was fast, but Slytherin couldn't use tactics and would only fly around in the air like a blind fly.
Harry walked in the empty corridor, thoughtfully. He found another person just like him. He is the ghost of headless Nick Gryffindor, and when he stares sadly out of the window and mumbles, "... not half an inch what they want, if ..."
"Hello, Nick." Harry said.
"Hello, hello." Headless Nick replied. He wore a gaudy feather hat, long curly hair and a long coat with a collar, which just covered his badly injured neck. He was as white as smoke, and Harry could almost see the dark sky and heavy rain behind him.
"You look like you are in trouble, don't you, Potter?" Nick said, stuffing a transparent letter into the farm clothes.
"You too." Harry said.
"Ah," Headless Nick waved gracefully, "it's just a small matter ... I just want to participate ... I thought I would be admitted, but the letter said I didn't meet the requirements."
Although he looks relaxed, the expression on his face shows that he is in pain.
"You would think so, wouldn't you?" He said suddenly, and then took the letter out of his pocket. "Before my head was cut off, my neck was cut 45 times with a blunt axe. This should meet the requirements? "
"Oh, yes." Harry thinks he should agree.
"I mean, at that time, I wish he could cut fast and hard, and his head could fall off at once. I mean, so I don't have to take so many axes. It's hell on earth. But ... "Headless Nick opened the letter again and read it with resentment.
"We can only accept hunters who are inseparable when they die. You should understand that even if you join our association, you can't participate in our riding devil skills and water head activities. Therefore, I can only regret to inform you that you do not meet our requirements.
Sincerely, salute. Delaney Mr. Bodmore. "Nick angrily put the letter back in his pocket.
"I only have a little meat to connect my head and body, Harry! Most people think so, but this is not the case, at least for Delaney. Not for Mr. Bodmore. "
Headless Nick took a few deep breaths and calmed down. "That-why are you upset? Can I help? "
"No," said Harry. "Unless you know where we can get Lingguang 20001..."
A scream drowned out Harry's words. He looked down and saw a pair of big eyes like lanterns beside his knees. This is Mrs Norris, thin Embryo Cat of manager Fitch. In the days when Fei Chi struggled with his students for a long time, he was an effective assistant.
"You'd better get out of here at once, Harry." Nick said quickly. "Flying in a bad mood these days. He caught a cold. A third-grade student put some frog brains on the ceiling next to No.5 and let him clean it all morning. If he sees you walking here covered in mud, "I see." "Harry ignored Mrs. Norris's reproachful eyes and hurried out. But it's too late. As if he had some mysterious feeling about his cat, Fitch rushed out in a blanket and looked around for the offenders. His head is covered with a plaid cloth and his nose is red and purple.
"Dirty ghost!" He shouted, his cheeks flushed with excitement, and his eyes were fixed on the mud dripping from Harry Quidditch's jersey. "There are dirty things everywhere! I've had enough! Potter, come with me! "
Harry waved goodbye to Nick with a gloomy expression and followed Fitch down the stairs. More dirty footprints appeared on the floor.
Harry has never been in Fitch's office, which is a place that most students don't want to go in. There is only an oil lamp hanging from the ceiling of the room, and there is no window, which is accompanied by the smell of fried fish. There are several big wooden cabinets against the wall, which are used to hold the files of students who violate the discipline, and which specify in detail who did what bad things and why they were punished. Fred and George's papers occupy a whole drawer. A pair of shiny chains and handcuffs hung behind the wall of Fitch's desk. Everyone in the school knows that he often implores the headmaster Dumbledore to allow him to hang his students upside down from the ceiling.
Feichi took out a quill pen and began to look for parchment.
"Dragon dung," he said angrily, "that fire-breathing monster ... frog brain ... mouse urine ... I've had enough ... where is the form ... here ..."
He took out a large roll of parchment from the drawer, smoothed it on the table and dyed the pen with some ink.
"Name ... Harry. Porter. Case ... "
"Just a little mud!" Harry said.
"That's true for you, but for me, it's another hour as a cleaner!" Shouted galloping. A drop of nose water shook and landed on his bulbous nostril. "Case: Dirty Castle ... The suggested punishment is ..."
He covered his nose with a piece of paper and squinted at Harry. Harry held his breath and listened. ...
Fei Chi was about to start writing when there was a loud noise from the ceiling and the kerosene lamp shook.
Peeves!' Fei Chi roared, dropped his pen and ran out. "I must catch you this time, you can't run away."
Fitch stormed out of the office without looking back, followed by Mrs. Norris.
Peeves is a school prankster. He is a natural troublemaker. Harry never liked him very much, but now he appreciates the timeliness of his pranks. No matter what Peeves did this time (judging from the sound, something was smashed on the ceiling), he secretly prayed that Filch forgot to punish himself.
Harry sat in the chair in front of Fitch's desk, waiting for her to come back. On the desktop, besides the half-filled form, there is a smooth purple envelope with some shiny silver words written on it. Harry looked at the door and quickly picked up the envelope. It says: "correspondence course for beginners of carat spell"
Harry felt very strange, so he opened the envelope and took out the parchment inside. The paper in it says, "Do you feel out of touch with modern magic? Do you find yourself often making excuses not to practice simple magic? Are you upset about your poor witchcraft?
This is the answer you need!
Crash spell is a brand-new, quick-acting and easy-to-learn course. Thousands of wizards have benefited greatly from this course!
Mrs. Senitov of Towson wrote: I know nothing about transformation and am often laughed at by my family. After learning the carat spell, I became the center of the party, and my friends asked me for the secret recipe of Spark Dafa.
Hua Nuofu of Fragments said: My wife used to make fun of my magic, but after studying your magical carat course for a month, I successfully turned her into a yak! Thank you, Crabbe. "Harry read the letter from beginning to end with great interest. Why on earth does filch want these courses? Does this mean that he is not an official wizard? Harry was reading the first lesson "The Correct Way to Hold a Wand" (some useful hints) when there were hurried footsteps outside the door. Harry knows that Fitch is back. Harry immediately stuffed the parchment into the envelope. Hardly had Harry thrown the envelope back on the table when the door was opened.
Fitch smiled smugly.
"That wardrobe that disappears automatically is really useful!" He said happily to Mrs. Norris.
"We got rid of Peeves this time, my baby."
His eyes turned to Harry and then to Nick's spell envelope on the table.
When Harry realized it was too late, the envelope moved at least two feet.
Fitch's pale face turned brick red. Harry is going to get a good scolding. I hobbled to the table, grabbed the envelope and put it in the drawer.
"Have you-have you-read it?" He stammered.
"No." Harry told a lie at once.
Fitch's jointed hands were twisted together.
"If I guess you read mine ... it's not mine ... it's for a friend ... it looks ... but ..."
Harry stared at him warily; Fitch couldn't be more excited now. His eyes protrude outward and his chubby cheeks twitch.
"Okay, okay ... let's go ... don't tell anyone ... don't say ... However, if you really haven't read it ... let's go, I'll write a report about Peeves ... let's go ..."
Harry could hardly believe his good luck. He walked out of the office quickly, across the aisle and up the stairs.
Being able to walk out of Fitch's office with impunity really set a school record.
"Harry, Harry, is it useful?"
Headless Nick slipped out of the classroom. Behind him, Harry saw the remains of a big black and gold cabinet. There is no doubt that it was caused by falling from the sky.
"I convinced Peeves to throw this out of Filch's office," Nick said eagerly. "I think it might distract him ..."
"Is it really you?" Harry said gratefully. "Yes, it is very effective. I don't need reeducation through labor. Thank you, Nick! "
They walked along the aisle together. Harry noticed that Headless Nick had been holding on to Mr. Bodmore's reply.
"I wish I could help you join the headless hunting party," said Harry.
Headless Nick stopped and Harry passed through him. He wishes he hadn't, because it feels like taking a bath in ice water.
"But you can do other things for me," Nick said excitedly. "Harry-I don't know if this is too much to ask-forget it, you don't want to go-"
"Where to?" Harry asked.
"Well, Halloween this year is my 500th anniversary." Headless Nick straightened up and said seriously.
"Oh," said Harry, who didn't know whether to be happy or sad. "Here's the thing."
"I will hold a party in a big house. Friends from all over the country will attend. I would be honored if you could come. I'd like to welcome Mr Wesley and Miss Granzow. Sure-but I know you have to go to the school dinner, right? " He noticed that Harry looked a little embarrassed.
"No," said Harry at once, "I'll come—"
"My dear friend! Harry. Potter, come to my anniversary party! And, "he hesitated for a moment and said excitedly," can you mention to Mr. Bodmore how creepy you were when you saw me? "
"When-of course." Harry said.
Headless Nick smiled at him.
"Death Day Party?" Hermione showed great interest. Harry changed his clothes and saw Ron and Hermione in the hall. "I bet few people alive have been to such a memorial day party-it will be fun."
"Why does anyone celebrate the Day of Death?" Ron said he didn't finish his homework and had a bad temper.
"Sounds pretty depressing ..."
The rain is still beating on the window. It's dark outside, but it's bright and happy inside. The fireworks shone beautifully and landed on the chair. Fred and George want to see what will happen if fireworks are sprayed on salamanders.
Fred just "rescued" an orange fire scorpion from a magical animal medicine class. He is now quietly hiding under a table, surrounded by curious people.
Harry is about to tell Ron and Hermione about Fred and the Cramer curse course. The salamander flies into the air and spins wildly in the room, sparking and making a huge noise. Percy yelled at Fitch and George; The fire scorpion spewed orange flames from its mouth, and then escaped into the fire, creating an explosion. All this made Harry forget the envelope of Fred and Clara's spell.
As Halloween approached, Harry began to regret his hasty decision to go to the Memorial Day party. Students at school are guessing the food at the Halloween party; The hall was decorated with live bats, and Hagrid's pumpkin was made into lanterns, enough for three people to sit in. There are also rumors that Dumbledore has booked a skeleton dance company to perform.
"You promised others first." Hermione reminded Harry authoritatively. "You said you were going to the anniversary party."
So, at seven o'clock sharp, Harry, Ron and Hermione went straight out of the door and came to the crowded hall. Golden plates and candles shone and invited them. They walked to the office.
Candles are also placed in the aisle leading to Headless Nick's party, but these are not so pleasant.
Thin, long bright blue and black candles cast dim ghostly shadows on their faces.
Every step they take. The temperature will drop a little. Harry trembled and wrapped his magic robe tightly around him. At this moment, he heard a sound, like thousands of nails supporting a huge blackboard.
"This is not music, is it?" Ron whispered. They turned a corner and saw headless Nick standing by the door with a dark purple curtain in his hand.
"My dear friends," he said sadly, "welcome, welcome … I'm so glad you can come …"
He took off his feathered hat, bowed to them and let them in.
The scene inside is unbelievable. Hundreds of pale and transparent people in the room floated around on the dance floor, waltzing with terrible and creepy music. On the shady platform, a symphony orchestra is pulling thirty chainsaws vigorously. The tree chandelier overhead emits blue light. Their breath turned into fog; It's like walking into a refrigerator.
"Shall we walk around?" Harry hinted that he wanted to move his numb feet.
"Be careful not to pass others," said Ron nervously as they walked along the stage. They saw a group of nuns with gloomy faces; A man in rags in handcuffs; And chubby Falar, a happy long-nosed monster. He is talking to a knight with an arrow between his eyebrows. Harry was not surprised to see Byron covered in blood-a gaunt Slytherin ghost.
"Oh, no," Hermione said suddenly. "Come back, turn your head, I don't want to talk to Maitreya groaning-"
"who?" Harry asked. They returned at once.
"She always scares people in the ladies' room on the first floor. "
"Is she scary in the toilet?"
"Yes, she lost her temper there, flooded the toilet, and it was a mess all year. If possible, I wouldn't go there at all. It's terrible to go to the toilet and hear her cry-"
"Look, here comes the food!" Ron said.
At the other end of the house, there is a long table with a purple-black tablecloth. They walked over eagerly, stunned by what they saw. A big rotten fish was put on a silver plate, a cake burned like coal was put on a tray, a large piece of cheese covered with green hair and moths and a huge tombstone-shaped gray cake with tar on it: Nicholas. Demis. Mr. Poppington died in 1492 65438+ 10/3/0/. Harry was surprised to see a strong ghost approaching the table, bending down through the food and crossing a stinking salmon with his mouth open.
"When you pass through the food, can you taste anything?" Harry asked.
"a little!" The ghost answered sadly and then floated away.
"I think they deliberately let the food rot and want those flavors." Hermione said suddenly. She put her nose close to a plate of rotting animal liver.
"Let's go, I don't feel well." Ron said.
As soon as they turned around, a little man floated out from under the table, suspended in midair and stopped in front of them.
"Hello, Peeves." Harry greeted carefully.
The troublemaker is wearing a bright yellow party hat, a spinning bow tie and a big smile on his face. Comparatively, he is the least pale and transparent.
"Have a bite?" He picked up a dish of moldy peanuts and asked sweetly.
"No, thanks." Hermione said immediately.
"I heard you speak ill of poor mettler," Peeves said, his eyes shining. "You are impolite and have no courage." He took a deep breath and shouted, "Ah, Metohija!"
"No, don't, Peeves. Don't tell her what I said. She will be very unhappy."
Hermione whispered quickly. "I didn't mean it. I don't care if she will-oh, hello, mettler. "
A female ghost came squatting, her face was the most melancholy Harry had ever seen. Half covered with sparse hair and wearing a pair of thick pearl glasses.
"What?" She asked gloomily.
"How are you, Mettler?" Hermione asked pretending to be happy. "I'm glad to see you coming out of the toilet."
Mettler blew his nose.
"Miss Granzo is talking about you-"Peeves whispered in Maitole's ear.
"Say, say-you are beautiful tonight." Hermione glared at Peeves.
Mettler looked at Hermione suspiciously.
"You are making fun of me." Silver tears fell from her almost completely transparent little eyes.
"No-I'm serious-did I say I was beautiful?" Hermione nudged Harry and Ron in the ribs.
"Oh yes ..."
"She really ..."
"Don't lie," gasped Mettler, and his tears fell down. Peeves snickered behind her back.
"You think I don't know what others say about me? Fat metole! Ugly metole! The courage to wail! "
"You left out' dirty'." Peeves whispered in her ear.
The wailing Maitreya burst into tears, and sad cries filled the whole hall. Peeves followed her, throwing peanuts at her and shouting, "Dirty ghost, dirty ghost!" "
"Oh, my God." Hermione said sadly.
At this moment, headless Nick floated towards them from the crowd.
"Did you have fun?"
"Oh, yes." They lied.
"Yes," said Headless Nick proudly. "The weeping widow came all the way from Kent ... I'm going to give a speech, and I have to stop the symphony orchestra first ..."
By this time, the symphony orchestra had stopped playing. The horn of hunting sounded.
So, they and every ghost in the house are quiet and excited.
"Ah, let's go and have a look." Headless Nick said painfully.
Twelve ghost horses rushed into the house, each with a sleepy hollow sitting on it. Everyone clapped wildly, and Harry clapped, but he stopped as soon as he saw Nick's expression.
The horse sprinted to the center of the dance floor, raised its front legs, stood on its hind legs and stopped. A tall ghost stood in front, with his bearded head under his arm, blew his horn, then took a step forward and held his head high. So that he can see the crowd. (Laughter breaks out in the crowd. ) He goes to Headless Nick and puts his head back on his neck.
"Nick," he shouted. "How are you? Is the head still there? "
He patted Nick on the shoulder with a big smile on his face.
"Welcome, Bodmore." Nick answered stiffly.
"The living!" Seeing Harry, Ron and Furong, Odemo pretended to jump up in surprise and his head fell off again. (There is another burst of laughter in the crowd. )
"Very interesting and wonderful." Headless Nick said gloomily.
"Never mind, Nick." Bodmore and other sleepy hollow began to throw popsicles, which attracted the attention of the crowd. When Bodmore's head flew past him cheering, the headless Nick gave up the hope of making a speech in vain.
Harry is cold all over, not to mention hungry enough to start the car.
"I can't stand it anymore." Ron whispered that the symphony orchestra began to play, and when people came to the dance floor again, his upper and lower teeth began to fight.
"Let's go." Harry agreed.
They went to the door and smiled and nodded to everyone who looked at them. A minute later, they hurried back to the aisle full of black candles.
"Maybe the pudding is not finished." Ron walked hopefully to the stone steps of the hall.
Then, Harry heard a voice.
"... tears ... bite ... kill ..."
It was the same voice. The voice he heard in Lockhart's office was frighteningly cold.
He stumbled, stopped, put his hand on the stone wall, listened attentively and stared at the dark corridor.
"Harry, what are you doing-"
"That voice again-don't talk-"
"I'm so hungry ... I've been waiting for a long time ..."
"Listen!" Harry said eagerly. Ron and Hermione froze on one side and stared at Harry.
"... it's time to kill ... kill ..."
The voice is getting weaker and weaker. Harry's pretty sure where it's going-up there.
He stared at the black ceiling, and a feeling of fear and excitement filled his whole body: why did it rise? Is this a ghost that can cross the stone wall?
"This way." He shouted and ran up the stairs and into the lobby. The buzz of people echoed in the hall at the Halloween party, and Harry couldn't hear the sound.
Harry hurried up the granite steps on the first floor, followed by Ron and Hermione.
"Harry, what are we doing-"
"shh!"
Harry pricked up his ears. Far away, on the floor overhead, he still heard the fainter and fainter voice ... I smelled blood ... I smelled blood! ”"
His stomach began to churn. "It wants to kill people!" He shouted, ignoring the puzzled expressions of Ron and Hermione, and rushed upstairs step by step. His ears are still carefully recognizing the sound of his footsteps.
Harry flew to the second floor, followed by Ron and Hermione panting. Park in the last empty aisle.
"Harry, what the hell is going on?" Ron wiped the sweat from his face with his hand. "I can't hear anything ..."
Suddenly, Hermione pointed to the corridor and gasped.
"Look!"
The wall in front is glowing. They opened their eyes wide and walked slowly into the dark corridor step by step.
On the walls of the two windows, the words about the size of the soles of the feet painted on them shimmered under the flashing torches.
"The mysterious chamber of secrets has been opened.
Descendants of the enemy, be careful. ""what's this-hanging below? " Ron's voice trembled.
They moved so slowly that Harry almost slipped: there was a big pool of water on the floor. Ron and Hermione, get him. They approached the text and stared at a mass of black things below. They immediately recognized what it was and jumped back quickly.
The manager's cat, Mrs. Norris, hung her tail on the torch barrel, her body was as stiff as a board and her eyes were wide open.
They stayed there for a few seconds. Then Ron said, "Let's get out of here."
"We should try our best to help-"Harry stammered.
"Trust me," said Ron. "We can't be found here."
But it's too late. A few thunderous voices in the distance told them that dinner was over. Footsteps on the stairs rang at both ends of their corridor at the same time. People who are full talk loudly and happily. After a while, students poured in from both ends.
When everyone saw the cat upside down, the chirping, footsteps and all the noise stopped. Harry, Ron and Hermione are standing in the middle of the corridor. Everyone leaned down quietly and looked at the terrible words on the wall.
In the silence, a man shouted.
"The offspring of the enemy, be careful! You are the next target, a person of Mani descent! "
Gao Jie Marv came out of the crowd. His cold eyes were shining, his usually bloodless face was flushed, and he stared at the motionless cat and grinned.
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