Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - An unexpected humorous joke
An unexpected humorous joke
1, a gentleman drinks all day? Drink and sleep for half a day? Life.
One day, a man asked him why he always drinks, and he said, I can only sleep peacefully after drinking. ?
The man asked him why he always loves to sleep, and he confidently said, I don't even want to drink before going to bed. ?
Trafficker Zhang met a beautiful woman on the train.
Zhang suggested going to a mountain village in Shanxi to experience the farmhouse music after getting off the train. The beauty shyly agreed. There is a family in that village who needs to buy a daughter-in-law This beautiful woman is sure to fetch a good price, and Zhang is flattered.
Who knows that after arriving, Zhang was dragged into a black coal mine by several strong men. It turned out that he was sold here as a coolie by a beautiful woman.
3. I was drinking with some friends one night, and some people drank too much. One of them fell asleep on the side of the road, so we couldn't lift him, so we discussed finding something to cover him so as not to catch cold.
When I saw him a few days later, he said that he woke up the next day and found three bicycles on him.
Fat? The subway left after he came in? Drop ~ ~ drop ~ ~ drop ~ ~? Door closing warning sound. Then he suddenly jumped on the platform? Looking at tiemenguan, he shouted, Shit, I thought it was an elevator.
5. Mom: Go and learn to dance. You have no temperament at all.
Me: What dance should I learn?
Mom: What's that called? Pole dancing!
6. Play mobile phone while eating.
Mom said lyrically, put away your little computer?
7. Go to a martial arts-style restaurant for lunch, where the taste is average and the price is relatively cheap. The characteristic is that everything has a martial arts style. Address customers as guest officers and waiters as juniors; The name of the dish is also a martial arts style. Braised goose's web is the dragon's eighteen palms, and the mutton pot is called Jiuyang Magic.
When we eat the magic of nine yang, one? Xiao Qiang? Run around the table and call Xiao er when you get angry. When Xiao Er saw it, he shouted: There is an assassin!
8. My wife never does housework. On the night of her husband's birthday, the wife said to her husband on a whim. Today is your birthday, so don't wash the dishes. ?
The husband kissed his wife happily and said, Great, thank you for your help! ?
The wife said slowly:? Save it for tomorrow. ?
9. An English lady who was traveling in China took a beautiful dog into a restaurant for dinner. Because of the language barrier, she pointed to the waiter's mouth and pointed to the puppy's stomach.
The waiter took the puppy away and put a few counting hearts in front of her, signaling her to wait for a while.
She nodded in confusion. After a while, the food came, and my wife was very satisfied.
Before leaving, she motioned for a puppy, and had an argument with the waiter. The manager who knew English came over and asked, Madam, didn't you ask us to make dog meat instead?
No sooner had the actress put on her dress than the footman came in without knocking. The actress frowned and said, don't you know you need to knock? You know, I may not be dressed properly. ?
? Don't worry, madam. ? The footman said confidently, Before I came in, I always looked through the keyhole. ?
1 1, a temperament woman chased a thief and shouted:? You can steal my wallet, you can steal my mobile phone, and you dare to steal my ticket. I'm tired of living! ?
Hearing this, everyone was furious and immediately chased the thief, kneeling in fear and begging for mercy. I dare not steal tickets again! ?
A Dai was born tone deaf, but he likes singing. He practiced his voice in the backyard. When he met a high note, he tried to sing it.
At this time, his grandfather said in the front yard: When I get old, my eyes will be bad. I just can't see it when I hear the crow. ?
A Dai's mother said? Dad, you're mistaken. There is no cock crow here! There are guests next door today. Guess he's killing chickens! ?
13, a person went to the northeast on business and asked for beer in a restaurant. The waiter asked, do you want room temperature or cold storage?
Some people angered, you still let me drink frozen food in this cold weather? !
The waiter said calmly,-room temperature 15? , refrigerated-1?
14 when I handed a lottery ticket that won 5 million to the staff of the lottery center, everyone immediately cast envious eyes! I took out the second one, still 5 million. Everyone was shocked! When I took out the third picture, the air stopped flowing!
? When I was about to take out the fourth picture, my wife kicked me awake and said discontentedly, I slept dishonest, tore up the books one by one and laughed so loudly! ?
15, Boyfriend: Of course I love you the most ~ No matter what your requirements or wishes are, I will try my best to satisfy you.
Me: I only have two small wishes now?
My boyfriend interrupted me: shh, you can't talk?
16, I took the subway today, and there were not many people. At a certain stop, a boy came in. His figure looked good.
;
- Previous article:Friends party joke
- Next article:What is the name of Liu Xinyou Qihua advertising song?
- Related articles
- Kindergarten baby happy joke
- Honest homophonic jokes.
- Netizens called it a joke and laughed at Gan Wangxing. How to treat the so-called "joking" of netizens?
- What is the first task for a newbie in Legend of Legend?
- Campaign speeches of brigade members
- ?What does the finishing touch mean? Where does it come from?
- Recommend some comedies to see.
- If one of the reasons for the demise of the Sui Dynasty was that Yang Guang set up a Jinshi branch, which made Guan Longxun feel that he had violated their interests and turned against them, then why
- What was Italy's military strength in World War II?
- Lao She's Unique Literary Common Sense