Simple jokes are big

A collection of simple jokes

The farthest distance in the world is: We both go out together, you go buy four generations of Apples, and I go buy four bags of apples. Below I have collected a collection of short jokes for everyone to make you laugh. Welcome to read!

A collection of short jokes:

1. I had dinner with my dad last night, and he asked me : Do you still know that uncle’s daughter? You two used to play together!

I didn’t think of it at the time, but I said casually: I haven’t slept with her before, so I’m not familiar with her.

My dad...

2. Our family had dinner a few days ago and found that my dad has gained weight in middle age and his belly has become bigger.

I said, Dad, if you push your belly up every day, maybe your belly will become thinner. My dad said that the meat was pushed up to the chest...

My mom replied, "Don't worry, I have to buy you a bra... Then you will become famous. I have already thought of the news headlines." . . . A man suddenly mutated in middle age, and the former couple turned into sisters...

3. In order to joke with their children, the parents asked their sons: Which one do you like?

The son said :Mother.

Then the father took off his clothes and said to his son: Look, there is no milk left. You drank it all. Your mother still has so much. Who do you like?

The son immediately said: Dad!

4. My wife wanted to lose weight, so she asked her husband to buy weight-loss pills for her. Husband: Taking pills hurts my body, but now I feel better. I feel so sensual. .

Son: Actually, he is a little fat. My husband immediately glared at his son: Don’t talk nonsense, kids. I like your mother’s figure.

Then, while the wife was not paying attention, she gave her son a lesson: Be careful what you say in the future. Diet pills are very expensive. You have to tell your mother that if you eat less, you will lose weight! Collection of short jokes 2:

1. I was playing with my brother this morning when I suddenly received a call from my father, saying that his shoes were broken and asked us to send them to him. My brother said yes, but you have to pay 100 A tip!

Dad readily agreed. When he got there, he took the shoes. His smiling face immediately changed. He held the shoes and greeted his brother over. Said: "I let you cheat your father, I let you cheat your father."

2. There is a female colleague whose son is one and a half years old and has not yet been weaned.

There was a dinner party, her son wanted to breastfeed, and there was a big table full of people.

The colleague was embarrassed to feed him, so he lied to his son, "I didn't bring him out, I left him at home."

The son had no choice but to continue eating white rice in disappointment, damn, this is okay!

3. "The daughter-in-law in the house opposite is scolding her mother-in-law again. The old man looks so pitiful!"

My mother looked at me meaningfully after hearing what I said: "As long as you If you can find me a wife, I will be happy if she beats me every day!"

4. My brother brought his girlfriend to our house for dinner for the first time. My mother and I kept company and we had a good chat.

When we were about to finish eating, my mother tentatively asked my brother the timeless classic question: "If your wife and I fall into the water, who will you save first?"

< p> When my brother’s girlfriend heard this, she immediately rushed to answer: "I will definitely save you first."

My brother also nodded quickly, and then said: "Yes, I will definitely save you first!"

p>

I saw my mother put down her chopsticks, smiled meaningfully, and said to my brother: "As expected, I listened to my wife." Three short jokes:

1. Stomach in the afternoon I was hungry, so I saw a bottle of yogurt on my colleague's desk, and drank it without thinking. After a while, my colleague came and shouted, "Why is my facial cleanser missing? It's 108 yuan!!" Brother didn't say anything, he just kept silent. I walked to the toilet, scratched my throat, and felt so uncomfortable that I vomited things hard until I spit out sour water. I finally vomited almost all the time. When I returned to my seat with tears streaming down my face, my colleague held a bottle and said, "Scar* I'm sorry, the facial cleanser rolled under the table, and why is my yogurt missing again? "My brother cursed in his heart: Your grandma is a bitch, if you drink some yogurt, she will go to bed."

2. An old man went to the People's Bank of China to withdraw money. He walked directly to the window. The security guard came over and said: "Uncle, press the number.

"Uncle: "What?" Security guard: "Press the number. "The uncle thought to himself, it is indeed a big bank. To get a *, you still need a password, so he whispered to the security guard: "The king of heaven and the tiger of the earth. "The security guard helplessly pressed out a queue ticket for the old man. The old man thought to himself: I'm so scared, I was fooled!!

3. A beautiful female colleague, her husband brought her lunch , put it down without saying a word and left.

The new male colleague asked: Who was that just now? She replied: The delivery person. The new guy asked again: Why didn’t you give it? She said: No need to give it. , just sleep with him at night. The male colleague was silent. The next day, he brought her a lunch of four dishes and one soup, and the whole office burst into laughter... 4. I got into trouble today.

< p> There were several transparent shrimps in the fish tank in the office. The boss looked at them with glasses for a long time and asked me what they were.

I said, "Shrimps!"

The leader was stunned and left...

I was also stunned and quickly explained loudly: "The leader is a shrimp! The leader is a shrimp! The leader is really a shrimp! He is a real shrimp!!!" " ;