Requesting some short jokes, in TXT format.

Portrait of your life: Learn to take a bath by yourself at the age of ten - Zhu Ziqing; shine at the age of twenty - Zhu Shimao; find a job at the age of thirty - Zhu establishes a career; hire a servant at the age of forty ——Pigs get servants; learn to play basketball at the age of 50——Pigs shoot!

26. When I was chatting with my friends just now, I mentioned you, did you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all!

27. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: It’s weird that I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally one day you couldn't help but declare loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

31. Psychological test:

Press down if you think you have a high IQ

Press down if you think you are quite humorous

Click down if you think you are quite attractive

Click down if you think you are quite handsome

Quiz results:

Quite shameless< /p>

32. I see the vicissitudes of life between your eyebrows, I see confidence in your eyes, I see the years on your forehead, and I see leeks between your lips and teeth. Go and brush your teeth!

33. Eat shit, 簟璁, 醭歙, 艽绱, 癀穑,鍍惃,偬彘, 皪璁,祭写, how many of the above words do you know? Have you found that you have nothing but eating? Shit can do nothing?

34. Two cows are eating grass. One of them said, "There is an epidemic of mad cow disease recently. We won't be infected, right?" The other said, "No, we are kangaroos." Already crazy!

35. I have always been an unknown knight in the world, until one day I met you, the most mysterious person in the legend, and I actually called you by your name. From then on, I also became famous in the world. No.: Zhizhu narrow!

36. Marriage Proposal: Poor family, 1.49 meter ugly

Elementary school education, rural household registration

Broken house, three rooms and one acre of thin farmland

There is no wife for the cold pot or the hot stove.

The medicine is always available all year round

Today’s text messages are recruiting girlfriends

Hand in hand on the revolutionary road

Do you want to?

37. Doctor: "Why can't you find my pen? I want to give you a prescription." The patient reminded in a low voice: "Doctor, didn't you put it under my armpit? Are you in? ”

38. I want the sun to warm you, decorate you with starlight, intoxicate you with fine wine, satisfy you with delicious food, dazzle you with fireworks, and drown you with happiness, but I don’t It’s been a long time since I became God, and I can only send you a text message to wish you: Happy every day!

39. What if all the pigs in the world died? (Play a song) Answer: At least I still have you

42. A student asked, “Where did you take my shirt?” The roommate said, “Send it to the laundry room.” “Oh my god. Hey, I memorized all the key points of the history class on my sleeves."

43. A lunatic was singing while lying on the bed. He turned over and continued singing. The doctor asked him: You. Just sing, why are you turning over? The lunatic said: Fool, after singing side A, of course I will sing side B!

44.

nHZ !HS OM

I know you can’t guess,

Can’t understand,

< p>Take a closer look!

Can’t see it yet?

Do you know Pinyin?

There must be a limit to your stupidity, right?

Turn the phone upside down and look at it!

45. Father: "Why are you so stupid? You are such a little pig! Ahem! Do you know what a little pig is?" Son: "Yes, he is the son of a pig."

< p>Question: How can you slim down your buttocks most effectively?

Answer: Rub the tree.

Question: The monitor screen keeps shaking slightly, what can I do?

Answer: You are also shaking constantly. When your frequency and amplitude are consistent with the monitor screen, you can't feel it.

Question: Why don’t good horses turn around?

Answer: Because the horse poops behind it.

Question: How to get rid of an annoying dog? Someone has a dog near my house, and it runs around freely and often poops in front of my house at night. Is there any way to prevent it from pooping in my house, or to kill it without anyone knowing?

Answer 1: It’s useless to tell the owner, I’ll give you a good idea. Every time your dog poops, you peek, and when the dog notices you peeking, it will be shy and never dare to poop in front of your house again.

Answer 2: Buy it a computer and teach it to surf the Internet, and it will have no time to come to your door.

Question: How to get rid of ants?

Answer 1: Put the words "Martial Law" or "Search" on the dormitory door to create the illusion that the dormitory has ceased business.

Answer 2: Just buy an anteater and you’ll be done with it.

Answer 3: Play Zhang Chu’s song "Ants" thirty times.

Answer 4: Post this question to the door of the ant nest to prevent them from being killed! It’s hard to avoid being tortured to death by this paradox.

Answer 5: Raise some termites and let them racially discriminate and kill each other.

Question: How can I pick up more money on the street?

Answer 1: Just throw your wallet on the ground.

Answer 2: It is best to be a garbage collector. There is a high chance of picking up change this way.

Answer 3: Money is not picked up, so don’t walk away with your head down. Money falls from the sky, so always look up.

Question: What is the simplest secret to longevity?

Answer: Keep breathing, don’t stop breathing.

Question: Why doesn’t the moon revolve around the sun?

Answer: Because the moon is already revolving around the earth.

Question: Who was Liu Guan and Zhang San sworn in?

Answer 1: The emperor is the emperor and the queen is the earth.

Answer 2: Emperors Yan and Huang.

Answer 3: Peach.

Question: How do you say "It's really unbelievable" in English? I often hear it in movies. How to write the two sentences "An Bao Lai Bao" or "Ti Ke Ai Si Bao"? What does it mean exactly?

Answer: It should be like this:

unbelievable (An Baolai baby) is unbelievable!

impossible! The tone of this sentence is stronger than the one above.

Question: What are the dangers of crossing your legs?

Answer: The buttocks will be half bigger and half smaller.

Question: Why are people afraid of heights, but birds are not?

Answer 1: People know what it feels like to fall, but birds don’t.

Answer 2: When a bird flies, it never worries about its own wings. And people always think too much and carry too much weight.

Question: Why does the wizard ride on the broom instead of the bench?

Answer: Because riding a broomstick is much more handsome than riding a bench, and you can disguise yourself as a sweeper when you encounter enemies (powerful ones that you can’t defeat).

Question: Why does Superman always wear his underwear outside?

Answer 1: If you are wearing it, who knows you are Superman?

Answer 2: Batman, his underwear is pulled over his head; Spider-Man, his underwear is worn outside; how can Superman not take the fashion route? He just wore his underwear outside...

Question: There is a virus in my computer, what pesticide should I buy?

Answer 1: No need to use anything. You can not turn on the computer for a month and starve the virus inside.

Answer 2: It’s not enough to starve to death. What if the virus is too hungry and crawls out to infect other people’s computers! Not only does it have to starve to death by turning on the computer, but it also needs to be sealed in a bag to cut off water, food and air.

Answer 3: Use Fuyanjie, it will be healthier to wash.

Answer 4: It’s not possible to use Fu Yan Jie, it’s from upstairs.

What if the computer is male? In fact, using Tide is the best. Does not hurt hands and eliminates bacteria.

Answer 5: Everyone upstairs is unkind. You cannot use pesticides for computer viruses. You can just take your computer to the epidemic prevention station and give it to the doctor for an injection. In the future, one injection will be enough every year. Completely prevent viruses from invading

Question: There is a virus in my computer; I sprayed insecticide on the host, but nothing happens?

Answer 1: You can find an insecticide manufacturer Theory, if not, you can file a lawsuit with the Consumer Association

Answer 2: It’s okay, you just didn’t spray enough, just use more pots and it’ll be fine

Best answer: The virus should be caused by software The problem is not a hardware problem, so it is useless if you spray it on the host. You should open the computer, remove the hard drive, then disassemble the hard drive and spray it to solve your problem! (Don’t laugh, be serious)

Question: Are there any fattening pills on the market? What can I eat to gain weight? The simpler, the better!

Answer: Yes, it only takes a while to gain weight immediately. The method is to find a hornet's nest, put your hands in it and stir it twice. Hey, it only takes a while, and you are guaranteed to be so fat that even your mother won't recognize you.

Question: Ask an expert for advice on what gun is suitable for robbing a bank, where can I buy a gun, and how much does an AK-47 cost? Tell me what you know. Thanks!

Answer: The experienced ones are not here, but you will see them if you try to grab them.

Question: Please give some examples of chemistry benefiting mankind.

Answer 1: In the past century, the most outstanding contributions that chemistry has made to human society include: synthetic fibers, dyes, petrochemicals, pharmaceuticals, fertilizers, synthetic materials, etc.

Answer 2: Atomic bombs. There is no one who is not "convinced".

Question: an intellectual question. What's after 228? What's behind 103? What's behind 85? All 3 answers are the same! Just give me the answer.

Answer: Yes.

Question: Do celebrities need to eat and use the toilet?

Answer 1: Of course not. When celebrities eat, they call it "dining." Celebrities go to the toilet and call "bathroom". So there is no need to "eat" and "go to the toilet".

Answer 2: If you don’t see it, just pretend it didn’t happen.

Question: Can the mission of maintaining world peace be entrusted to me?

Answer 1: If you are an animated superman, I will consider it.

Answer 2: Of course it cannot be left to you. You must be the one to hold the next US presidential election, otherwise the American people will never agree.

Answer 3: If you have superhuman strength, the ability of Variety Star Lord, the skill of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the courage of Astro Boy, the wisdom of Ikkyu, the courage of Mao Zedong, Zhou Enlai’s methods, and Bush’s plan ...Basically, you can maintain world peace.

Answer 4: Such a big joke

Answer 5: Who are you? Why should I give it to you! If you are Ultraman, that’s fine!

Question: Why should "heat quickly" be banned in student dormitories?

Answer: First, it consumes electricity

Second, it is easy to catch fire

3. The boiled water can only be used for washing feet because the quality is not good

Question: How to wash clothes clean

Answer: Wash frequently

Question: Porridge with dried shrimps Is it so difficult to be alone?

1 answer: Practice your articulation, it will not be difficult to speak clearly

2 answer: Porridge is a person?...Anthropomorphic technique used?

< p>3 Answer: Give the porridge a bun... it's not difficult.

Question: I accidentally swallowed a flying insect, will something happen?

Answer: Of course it is a good thing. You can taste rare wild game in the world, and those foods are rich in protein and contain many trace elements, which will definitely increase your power.

Question: Help! My computer won't turn on! The fan is not running and the motherboard light is not on!

Best answer: Is it plugged in?

Addition to the best answer: No!

Question: I am a student in the computer network class.

We are going to have a sports meeting, and the teacher wants us to say a slogan for the class? It should be novel and innovative, and it should be related to the computer network we have learned.

Answer 1: Maximum traffic, fastest speed!

Answer 2: We guarantee there will be no jams

Answer 3: Class XX, telephone line, small optical fiber in our class!

Question: Who can describe the relationship between CPU, memory and hard disk?

Answer: You are the CPU, the memory is the bowl, and the hard disk is the pot. You use the bowl directly when eating, but the things are From the pot

Question: The baby will be born in February 2007. The father’s surname is Zhang and the mother’s surname is Wang. Please give me a name. Which one is a boy or a girl? It is best to have a two-character name with a verb-object structure.

Answer: Octopus King

Question: The person I love has a different name! The people who love me are so cruel! ! Why is this happening?

Answer: Although the famous flowers already have owners, they can still loosen the soil occasionally

Even though they look unbearable, they can also be used to relieve the heat

Question: How to resist the temptation of beauty?

Answer: Eat the sugar coating and hit it back with cannonballs!

Question: 100 of my guppies died in one day? Why is this happening? ?

Answer: It’s all because of you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

1. Because you are a rich idiot

How much money is burned

2. Because you are an uneducated idiot

Why did you buy so many at once? You didn’t put two to test the water first

3 Because you are an easy fool

The merchant bought you a sick fish

4 Because you are a fool who doesn’t understand fish farming

You can figure it out for yourself~~~...

Question: Why is Tianjin Industrial University There are so many crows in the sky?

Answer: Because crows also want to get diplomas

47. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What happened? Drunk man :I don’t know, I just started eating an apple

It’s said that on a dark and windy night, on the longest... scariest road...

Taxi driver Driving past there...

There was a woman on the side of the road waving to get in the car... Well... it was quite quiet along the way...

Until the woman spoke. ...

She said: "I'll give you an apple to eat... it's delicious..." The driver thought it was great... so he took it...

Then he took a bite... ... The woman asked: "Is it delicious?"

The driver said: "It's delicious!" The woman replied again: "I also liked eating apples when I was alive..."

Wow...&*$#@... When the driver heard this, he was so frightened that he braked suddenly and turned pale...

I saw the woman slowly tilting her head forward... Said to the driver………………

Want to know what she said? ……………………………………………………

“But I don’t like eating it after giving birth!

2, Doll

There was a taxi driver working in a taxi company. Late one night, he was driving through a very desolate place, surrounded by darkness; suddenly he saw a building in the desolate land in front of him. The building was dimly lit. He was wondering when such a building had been built here when he saw a young lady on the side of the road waving to take his car home. After the young lady got in the car, he closed the door. , started driving, and after a while, he felt strange why the lady didn't say anything. Then he looked in the mirror and saw that there was no lady, only a doll sitting there. He was scared to death, grabbed the doll and went to He was thrown out of the window and became seriously ill for three months after returning home.

After he recovered from his illness, he went back to work in the taxi company. As a result, his colleague said to him: You are so embarrassed. A beautiful lady came over and complained that she wanted to take your car last time. As a result, as soon as she threw the doll in, you closed the car door and drove away.

3. Will-o'-the-wisp

In a dark night, a man was driving at night and passed by a cemetery. The breeze blew by, and the surrounding sounds were rustling, which made people's hair stand on end and their scalp tingled. At this moment, he suddenly noticed a red fire in the distance that appeared and faded. The first thing he thought of was "will-o'-the-wisp". So he gingerly picked up a stone and threw it toward the light. I saw the light of fire flying leisurely to the back of another grave. He became even more frightened, so he picked up another stone and threw it towards the fire, only to see the light fly towards another grave. At this point, he was close to collapse. So, he picked up another stone and threw it towards the light. At this time, I heard a voice coming from behind the grave: "Damn it, who is it? It's not fun to poop even if you poop. A bag of cigarettes cut me three times."

4. Damn it.

Two men were walking home after a Halloween costume party. When they passed a cemetery, they decided to walk through the cemetery on a whim. When they were halfway there, they heard a knock-knock. -The sound of knocking was frightening. The sound came from a dark place. They were trembling with fright, and then they found an old man holding a chisel and chipping away at a tombstone.

One of them A man said: "Oh my God, sir, we thought you were a ghost. It's so late. What are you doing here?" The old man cursed: "***, they spelled my name wrong." .!!!!"

5. Ghost in the toilet

Chu Yang went to the countryside to visit. When chatting with his relatives, his relatives told him that there was a ghost in the toilet here. However, if you don't accept the ghost's things, the ghost will not hurt you. Maybe it was because of the acclimatization. At night, Chu Yangxiang's stomach hurt terribly, so he had no choice but to fight with fear. He went to the toilet with his scalp.

As soon as Chu Yang squatted down, he heard a ghost's voice: "Do you want red toilet paper or white toilet paper? "

Chu Yangxiang knew that he could not accept ghost things, so he replied: "I always use newspapers. "It seemed that Chu Yangxiang had dysentery. After a while, Chu Yangxiang ran to the toilet again, but this time, he was no longer afraid. When the ghost saw Chu Yang backing up, he stretched out his hand and said, "I want it. "Wen Wei Po" or "Reference News"? "I always use sports newspapers." " During the night, Chu Yangxiang went to the toilet for the third time. "Do you want "Sports Weekly" or "Football Daily"? "The ghost asked.

"...I...I just want to pee. "Arrived.

In the middle of the night, a fire broke out. The cause is unknown.

Africans see this situation.

They can't care about so many.

He ran out naked.

When the firefighter saw this, he exclaimed:

Oh my god, the whole area was burned to ashes. How could he run so fast? .

1 Summary of Jokes

1. Girl: “As long as I have money, I can marry anyone. Man: "Are you marrying the bank safe?" ”

2. When quarreling, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun.

3. My wife wanted to lose weight, so she went horseback riding every day. The result Ma lost 40 pounds in one month

4. Patient: “Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach. "It doesn't matter, I still have one." "

5. Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: Because I can't print real money.

6. Wife: "Men are all timid. of. Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why would I marry you." ”

7. The first line: Hahahahaha, the second line: Hey hey hey hey. Horizontal line: mentally ill

8. The first year: He talks, she listens. The second year : She talks, and he listens. Year Three: They talk, and the neighbors listen.

9. If the cold world we live in is still difficult to change, at least I still have your face to melt the ice and snow.

10. Thief A: "Quickly count how much money you robbed today?" Thief B: "No, I will find out by reading the newspaper tomorrow."

11 .Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a mouse can live?" Peter: "It depends on the cat."

12. The kangaroo said to the dog: "I can put the phone on In my bag, and you can only hang your phone on your butt!”

13. Zhu Bajie: I changed my name to Sai Panan, many beauties are waiting for me! Sun Wukong: Could it be that you are online, idiot.

14. The daughter asked her mother: "Was Dad shy before?" "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least four years older now!"

15. Father: You are so old now , it’s time to find a wife. Zi: Yes, but in the vast sea of ??people, whose wife should I find?

16. Female: "Why are you always chewing candy when you talk to me?" Male: "How can you get so many sweet words if you don't chew sugar?"

17. Female A: "You Does your fiance know your age? "Otome: "Yes, he knows part of it." 18. "I treat her like an arctic!" "How?" "She is as cold as ice. It attracts me like a magnet."

19. Difficult to achieve

Mahaha was driving with his family on a country road. Suddenly, he found a frog crossing the road. . Mahaha quickly stopped the car, stepped out, and put the frog on the side of the road. The frog was very grateful to Mahaha and promised to fulfill one of Mahaha's wishes. So, Mahaha said to the frog:

"The 'Dog Selection Contest' will be held next week, and I want my dog ??to come first." The frog asked to see the dog, and Mahaha walked out of the car. Zhong took the dog out. The frog took a look and saw that the dog was stupid, fat, and only had three legs.

"I'm afraid this wish will be difficult to come true. You'd better make another wish!" The frog said with a guilty look.

"Then let's do this, let my wife win the first place in the next beauty pageant!" Mahaha demanded.

The frog asked Mahaha's wife to get out of the car, looked at it and said, "Can I take a look at that dog again?"

20. Such an ugly woman< /p>

There was a woman who was so ugly that men avoided her when they saw her. The woman's biggest wish is to be kidnapped by traffickers, and then... So, whenever night falls, she wanders on the sparsely populated country roads, waiting for that moment to come.

Hard work paid off. Late that night, she was finally kidnapped by a kidnapper and put into a car. The kidnapper came to see the kidnapper leader with his "fruits of victory", ready to claim credit and receive the reward. However, when the kidnapper leader saw the woman's appearance, he couldn't help scolding the kidnapper for his lack of vision and ordered him to let the woman leave the car immediately. The kidnappers asked the woman to get out of the car according to the leader's order, but the woman had no intention of getting out of the car. There was a stalemate for a long time. The kidnappers used coercion, intimidation, beatings and other means to get the woman out of the car, but the woman never gave in. She just refused to get out of the car. Seeing this, the kidnapper leader shouted helplessly: "Forget it! I don't want the car!"

21. Unfair

A pastor and a bus driver passed away at the same time. But the bus driver went to heaven and the pastor went to hell. It is quite unfair for a pastor to dedicate his life to the church but end up in hell.

So I complained to God. Pastor: "Lord! I have dedicated my life to the church and lead your believers in prayer every Sunday. Why am I not as good as a bus driver? Have I gone to hell?" God: "Yes! That's why you You just went to hell. You lead the believers to pray and preach the Bible every Sunday, but they are all sleeping underneath! But the bus driver is driving on the street every day, but his passengers are praying!"

< p>22. Poison

As soon as the customer came out of the drugstore to buy medicine, the drugstore clerk hurriedly caught up with him.

Guy: I'm sorry, you asked for a tonic and I gave you the poison by mistake.

Customer: Look, something big happened to you.

Guy: No, the boss will definitely scold me when he finds out. Poison is twice as expensive as tonic.

23. Avoid asking questions

A well-known botany professor and his teaching assistant are researching new varieties of plants.

One day, the teaching assistant asked the professor: "What would you do if you were taking a practical class in the field and encountered an unknown plant?"

The professor replied: "I usually go Be at the front, and then trample all the unknown plants to death to prevent students from asking questions. "

24. Activity Director

A worker asked the factory director's secretary:

"Why does the director always sit in the front row when watching movies?"

"Leading the masses."

"But why does he sit in the middle again when watching movies?"

"Go deep into the masses."

"When guests come, why is our factory director always at the table?"

"Represent the masses."

"But he sits in the office every day..."

"Fool, just believe in the masses!"

25. Assassin

Two gangsters are lying in wait. Planning to assassinate someone, but that person is always missing. One of them said anxiously: "What happened? I haven't seen him come yet. I hope he doesn't have an accident!"

26. A tooth

John: "Your father looks like You're a miser, look, he's a shoemaker, and you still wear such shabby shoes."

Tom: "What about your dad? He's a famous dentist, but your little brother is. Only one tooth!"

27. Unbearable conscience

One day, a poet was drinking with his friends. They ordered four sparrows as a side dish. His friend ate three in a row, and when he was about to eat the last one, the poet hurriedly said: "Should I eat this one?" The friend sighed and said, "I wanted to give it to you, but... , I really can't bear to break them up, so let's reunite them." After that, he ate the last one.

Pervert poster: Through the Hainan mineral water drinking incident, we can see that China’s food safety is worrying, and mineral water can also drink to death? Isn’t there a QS logo?

Poor reply: I would like to ask, does QS mean to die?

7. Abnormal poster: A student, whose grades are last every year, often fights with others, and the teacher wants to do well for the students according to the leader's requirements

How to write a final comment for a little bit? ah?

Strong reply: The student has stable grades and strong practical ability.

11. Let’s talk about China’s 30-minute news broadcast.

Rape reply: What to say: In the first ten minutes, the leaders were very busy. Ten minutes into the game, people all over the country are very happy.

Blessed. In the next ten minutes, people in other countries around the world were living in dire straits.

3 Reply: Forward: So strong and so far?

14. Abnormal poster: Olympic slogan "One world, one dream!"

Violent rape Reply: Darling, the national quintessence of mahjong is everywhere. Looking at it from the other side, it turns out that "if you want to touch a tube, it's just a tube!"

15. Abnormal poster: I'm about to step on it Now that you are working in society, what do the grassroots, high-level and middle-level people in Tianya’s GGJJ unit refer to

?

Rape reply: high-level: the boss above has no boss; middle-level: the subordinates have younger brothers; bottom-level: subordinates only have their own younger brothers.

21. Forum owner: The damn barber shop cut my head badly! Everyone came up with some damaging tactics, asking for the more destructive the better and the smaller the noise, the better, because I was going alone.

Forum basement: In the middle of the night, the moon is dark and the wind is high, quietly and gently, a man hangs himself in front of the barber shop...

28. Poster: I have been there for a year I haven’t taken any food, but I’m still alive and well! MOP netizens, you are lagging behind. Don’t you think it’s troublesome to have to eat three meals a day? Now I only need to bask in the sun for 10 minutes a day and I feel energetic for several days. Hey, you are really a bunch of ordinary people.

Reply: Plants can type. Khan

One sentence will make you laugh out loud

1. When a police dog saw an ordinary dog ??approaching on the road, it became fierce He ran to question it fiercely: I am a police dog, what are you? Ordinary dogs would look at it with disdain and say: Idiot, look clearly, I am a plainclothes man!

2. I have a request: treat me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I will write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front: Apply for a certificate. You also want to treat me to a good meal, or write: Marriage, both men and women are welcome, no conditions are required.

4. One day we went to a wishing well. I bent down and made a wish and threw a coin into the well. You also wanted to make a wish, but you accidentally fell into the well when you bent down. I was stunned and murmured to myself: It’s really amazing!

5. You and I are both angels with one wing. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world just to find you. After going through all the troubles to find you, I found: TMD! Our wings are aligned!

7. Late at night, Bush saw Bin Laden standing in front of his bed, his hair disheveled. Bush was shocked and said: You are so bold, you dare to break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-length beard, smiled sinisterly, and said: Rejoice, you are so confident!

8. The monkey picked up a card. It wanted to see clearly what card it was, so it climbed to the branch to look. At this time, a lightning struck it. The monkey cried and said: It turns out to be an IP card!

10. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. I have pooped on whatever I eat, cucumbers and watermelons. How can I get back to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

13. The nature teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Doesn't anyone know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said: That's because the mind is naturally cool.

My colleague was arguing with someone and said in a hurry, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he grew up eating. "

10. When I was in elementary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I refused, he would stalk me. After that, I yelled with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow). ) for you" At that time, the students immediately calmed down,,,.

11. During the computer class, a classmate had a problem with his computer, so he shouted "Boss, change the computer!" "The whole class was stunned.

12. I spit on your face!

14. I am a man. I got sick in Guangdong and my throat was speechless." `I went to see a doctor, and the doctor told me: yindao is inflamed'''' I was in a coma. I looked carefully and found that the diagnosis stated that my pharynx was inflamed.

````````

15. When I bought a computer, the boss offered me 4150, and I bargained for it: 410 is so bad~~~~ The boss was so crazy!

Swimmer: The lifebuoys produced by your factory have taught me a lot about swimming.

Director: Thank you for the compliment.

Swimmer: There is no need to be modest about the lifebuoys produced by your factory. I lost my temper, so I had to swim hard, and I quickly learned to swim.

A group of new recruits were undergoing parachuting training.

The old squad leader pulled them to the cabin door one by one. Then he pushed out the hatch.

One guy struggled hard and held on to the door, refusing to jump out!

The squad leader didn't let him hesitate and kicked him out!

The recruits at the back burst into laughter after seeing this!

The squad leader yelled: "What is there to laugh about, this coward? "

A recruit said: "He is not a coward, he is the pilot of this plane! ”

After hearing this, the old squad leader fainted with fright!