Write a composition with metaphor as a foil.

1. Writing a composition in contrast is the beginning of a composition describing the scenery (Shunde Teaching and Research Office). When commenting on the Grand View Garden, Jia Baoyu said that all beauty must be "natural and interesting".

The excellent college entrance examination composition of millions of candidates in China cannot be separated from a "reason" and a "fun". The college entrance examination magazine collected and sorted out the excellent compositions of the college entrance examination in recent years, and found that there are many remarkable places, but they are all interesting.

Just reading the beginning and end of these articles is enough to make us feel gratified and encouraged. Let's classify them and dedicate them to you. Maybe you can learn from them.

First, the most taboo to read the opening is to give people the feeling of digression with a pen. It directly tells the marking teacher that the author has not carefully judged the meaning of the question, and the composition score will be greatly reduced. Please look at the beginning of several compositions in the 2004 Guangdong College Entrance Examination.

Example 1 "remembered by language and communication": "Look at the flowers blooming and falling, the clouds are rolling and the clouds are comfortable. The bright sunshine in early spring reveals the breath of summer; The lush green clothes in midsummer indicate the harvest in autumn; The fruit of autumn shows the bleak winter.

The four seasons cycle, autumn comes and winter comes, and everything in nature is wonderful. How can we expect the hope of early spring without the baptism of severe winter? Our human society is just like nature. Without language connection and the same lifestyle, how can we connect the world into a whole and build a bridge of communication? "The metaphor at the beginning is improper, and the previous metaphor part is not well paved in similarities.

Why do you say that? Language and communication are the relationship between premise and result, but where is the relationship between "green dress" and "bumper harvest", "fruit" and "bleak"? In particular, the rhetorical question "How can we hope for early spring without the baptism of severe winter" has nothing to do with the topic. Example 2 "Spiritual interaction": "Trees never laugh at the weakness of grass, which, though weak, adds green to the grassland; Peony never laughs at the simplicity of wild flowers. Although wild flowers are simple, they bring infinite vitality to the earth.

Trees and grass, peony and wild flowers can be harmonious because they have a common language, communicate with each other and interact with each other. "At the beginning, I was close to the topic and found no similarities, which seemed far-fetched.

Example 3 "Language and Communication": "Language is a grass, and communication is a shade; Language is white clouds, communication is floating clouds. Language is a flower, and communication is an ocean of flowers. " This beginning regards "language" and "communication" as the relationship between individuals and the whole, and fails to understand the relationship between them.

All the above three situations use metaphors to increase literary talent, which is also the usual writing method of many candidates. If the examinee does not have an accurate grasp of the topic, he will take a wrong turn at the beginning, which will seriously affect his score.

The following examples illustrate the function of language more accurately and vividly. Example 4 "Communication begins with language": "Language is a bridge, connecting this shore and the other shore; Language is a waterfall, connecting streams and deep pools; Language is a rainbow, connecting the sky and the earth.

Only when the language is expressed accurately can communication be successful. If the language is wrong, it may have unpredictable consequences.

So how can we express the language accurately and promote the success of communication? Therefore, whether the opening is well written or not, the core issue is still in the exam; When judging the meaning of a question, seek accuracy first, and then seek image. Many methods are introduced at the beginning.

1, quote the famous saying (1) ask how the world is and teach people to commit themselves to life and death. Yuan Haowen is really good at asking questions, and so is he.

His question can be said to have been asked for a long time Over the years, how many people have lingered on this issue, and how many people have made the final answer in life after paying a huge price.

But every family's words are as different as everyone's face. Shi said, "Love is a tool.

..... "("What is love in the world ") 2 In a medieval church, a saint began his speech:" I became a saint because I saw through money, and what I have belongs to everyone. "Long years, a flick of a finger.

In a cross-century prison, a thief began his monologue: "I became a thief because I saw through the money, and everyone's is mine." Rodin, the master of aesthetics, once said, "Beauty is everywhere. For our eyes, it is not the lack of beauty, but the lack of discovery. "

Today, inspired by this innovative scholar, I want to say: "The answer is universal. For our brains, it is not a lack of thinking, but a lack of perspective. " Many times, we are confused by problems or wandering at the crossroads of multiple solutions. How to go has become a mystery in our hearts, and we are often indecisive. At this time, it is necessary to consider it from another angle, which will bring you more chances of success.

("Rotate this kaleidoscope") 2. Clever use of letter format 1 Dear Grandpa Confucius: Hello! I am your ordinary descendant. Thousands of years later, I still dare to write to bother you, not only to pay tribute to you, but also to have some difficult problems waiting for your advice. (A Letter to Confucius) The hateful standard answer: I am really outraged to see you.

Therefore, driven by the flame of anger, I wrote this letter to condemn you. The answers are colorful, but you have to wear a "standard" hat.

You know, because of the word "mark", countless tragedies have happened. The following are your three major crimes: ... ("A Letter to the Standard Answer") 3. Borrowing Zhang Hui's novel style (1) "It is said that the general trend of the world will be combined for a long time, and it will be combined for a long time."

At the beginning, the era of Wei, Shu and Wu Dingli no longer existed. In The River of No Return, the waves washed away the heroes of the past. And the former Shu heirs have also become "happy without thinking about Shu", and the world has become Sima's world.

(Heroes of the Three Kingdoms) Liang Shanbo's Juyi Hall is now brightly lit and full of people. One hundred people and eight people are gathered here, and everyone is quarreling.

What are they arguing about? It turns out that Liang Shanbo is going to select heroes who fight tigers recently. It's great to be awarded this honorary title. Whoever is awarded can sit in the second place in the Water Margin.

That's why all heroes gather here to argue.

2. The second volume of the fourth grade Chinese uses a metaphor of landscape contrast to write a beautiful campus.

Colorful spring has come, and the spring flowers on campus are the first to bloom. They are golden. Some flowers are full, some have all blossomed, revealing their hearts, and some have only opened two or three petals. The bright yellow petals are more beautiful under the sunlight! As long as you bend down, a fragrance will blow head-on, and even bees and butterflies will be attracted by it! Every time the breeze blows, the flowers are swaying gently, as if dancing and welcoming me. Yellow flowers, set off by green leaves, are more vibrant and loved by everyone!

Through the corridor, you can see a small curved pond. The water in the pond flows slowly, and the leaves falling in autumn are already ants' boats and small fish's hats. Flowers are in full bloom on the island, including red, yellow and white flowers. This is really the smell of spring.

The willows on both sides and three sides of the pond have sprouted. They must have sucked the spring rain and dew and kept coming out. A breeze blew, and Miss Liu shook her hair and made a "whirring" sound, as if she were playing hide-and-seek with a bird.

On the campus in spring, asparagus shoots new branches, flowers bloom, birds sing and we play games happily. How beautiful the campus is in spring! The campus in spring is full of vitality.

By contrast, it is urgent to write a 200-word composition. It is snowing heavily now. It snowed at first, just like someone grabbed white sugar in mid-air and sprinkled it one by one. In a short time, the snow is getting heavier and heavier, and the snow particles become snowflakes, falling lightly and slowly like goose feathers, swaying and fluttering, like jade leaves and honeysuckle scattered by the goddess. So clear and beautiful. The thin and tall willow branches on the roadside shook their bodies from time to time, shaking the snow to the bottom, but as soon as they shook off a little, they immediately lost a lot. Gradually, the snow put on a white coat for them. At night 2, everything was silent, only the sound of falling snow could be heard. At the moment, mountains, rivers, fields and villages are all covered with snow.

Pieces of small snowflakes are as light as smoke, as clean as jade, as white as silver, fluttering down from the sky and rushing to the embrace of mother earth.

Snow is like cotton wool, snow is like reed flowers, and snow is like dandelion fluff seeds, flying in the wind.

4. Write an article with rhetorical devices such as metaphor, personification, changing scenery, dynamic and static combination, and side contrast to awaken everything. Campus is full of spring. From a distance, the most striking thing is the delicate western azaleas in the garden on campus. Every plant stretches its branches and leaves and unfolds its petals. Look, the branch in the middle is still stretched out, as if it had just woken up from sleep. Looking to the right, clumps of green bamboo, like old friends I haven't seen for decades, embrace each other. They are bamboo bellies, and each bamboo node is round and full, like the belly of Buddha, hence the name. Looking at them, I feel that they are like a group of girls who can't comb their hair, head to head, shoulder to shoulder, as if telling unknown little secrets. Go along this road until you come to the corner. You can see a strange U-shaped tree lying in the green sea. Looks like a beautiful woman, sitting alone on the grass, with long green hair hanging down to her waist. Her face is facing our teaching building, as if listening to us reading aloud, laughing loudly and watching us play. A gust of wind blew, and she didn't feel lonely. Look! How happy she is to follow the wind, isn't that rustling sound her hearty laughter? The corner of the campus is really beautiful and interesting. You might as well come and have a look.

This work shows the vicissitudes and melodies of the campus by setting off the university. Dark clouds are naughty, sticking out half a face to block the sun, so there is a strange scene-taking the center line of the main entrance of a teaching building as the boundary, it is raining on the left and sunny on the right. Under the eaves, two men, if a girl passes by at this time, will inevitably exclaim the collision between two school grasses. Yes, a collision. The person on the left calls to Yangyang, facing the sun on the right; The man on the right is named Chen Yu. He likes the cool rain on the left. Collision, separation, give and take. Chen Yu left and walked into the rain curtain, feeling cool and longing for the sunshine behind him; Sunny sun to the right, choose sunshine, ignore dark clouds, turn your back on that person and look forward. Time, extension, in two hearts, in the center. Rain I still stubbornly chose rain, which is almost doomed, even my name-joy chen, is inevitable. The man who hit me just now is the one who told me that he is the two big school grass. Always a person who can choose the sun Doesn't he need rain to wash and wake up? Maybe there really shouldn't be a second alien like me! Raise your head, let the rain hit your face and see the dark clouds thoroughly. Is there really a sun on it? Of course, I will go to the sun without hesitation, and I don't need to explain at all, because my name, Sunshine Yang, is so desirable. The man who hit me just now is the one who called me two school grass, but he still went to Fish Cool. I heard that he has always been so fond of laughing and edging, with a cheerful expression and puffed up everywhere, or he tried to avoid the light and change the darkness. It should be that he needs to know himself in the rain. Looking around, the sun is still dazzling and direct, and in the middle, the image of the dark clouds is empty. Let it rain all the time! Only in the rain, I don't have to pretend anymore. I have been trying to laugh until my heart is tired. I have always been proud, but I don't want others to see my heart full of tears. Although so excellent and eye-catching, who knows my past? As long as I can remember, the couple have been quarrelling. "You damn fool!" "Smelly * *!" There is no smell of home in my ears. I'm just sitting and watching. It should be a joke. However, I can't laugh, let alone cry, and leave my childish fears in my heart. I am really scared, divorced, so simple, broken and so easy, but I haven't felt the warmth of home yet! A year, two years, a few years ... they have been arguing, but they have not divorced. When I grow up, I have the ability to stand on my own feet and left without hesitation, preferring to live alone. In the early days, I thought they didn't divorce because I was young. Now, I see through everything about them, but when divorced, the woman will share the man's property equally. Of course, that person wouldn't do that. It turns out that the so-called home is built on money! No matter what affection or warmth, I can't find the way far away, just like a storm, which makes me sad but can't. The bright sunshine is still shining. As long as I am in the sun, I will feel warm. I always don't like to laugh, perhaps because I am unhappy. It is enough to keep silent, as long as you know what you think. Since I am so excellent and eye-catching, there is no need to let others know my past. As long as I can remember, my father and mother seem to love each other. "Husband." "Wife." Every word is rippling in my ears, full of the taste of a happy home. When you are young, you always sit and watch. You really should feel happy. Of course, I don't have to laugh, only childish satisfaction spreads and grows in my heart. I have never been afraid. Divorce should be too far away, broken and without warning. I can always feel the warmth of home! A year, two years, a few years ... they never quarreled, but they got divorced. I still don't understand when I grow up, so I have to leave and live alone. At first, because of their young age, I didn't know that they had divorced until now. Later I understood everything about them, but I couldn't bear to leave my young children to pursue my own liberation. It turns out that this home I've always owned just hangs over my existence! Like family, as if warm, close at hand or without direction, like the rotating sun that day, I am very happy but feel sad. It's still raining, it's still raining, but I can't wash away the faint water stains in my eyes. Did I cry? Don't! The stubbornness from childhood doomed me not to be sad. "Why do you laugh so much?" Countless people have asked me this question. I have answered countless times: "Because I am happy." It's similar to the answer in my heart, except that there is a "want" missing. I really want to be happy, just want to, and then fake a smile until a thick mask is deposited on my face. Even rain can't break it down. Dry it. The sun is still shining, but I can't lift my mouth slightly. Did I laugh? Don't! The separation that changed everything doomed my sadness. "Why don't you ever laugh?" Countless people have asked me this question. I have answered countless times: "I am not happy." It's similar to the answer in my heart, except that "maybe" is missing. Maybe I'm unhappy, just maybe, and then I can disguise myself by suppressing my lips until my cheeks are stiff, my mouth can't rise, and even the sun can't melt and ripple. It's rare that it's the same whether it's sunny or rainy, and I'll leave soon. Nothing has changed before. The same trajectory, the sunny sun, remains silent. There will always be a day when two parallel lines intersect or overlap, just change a plane or space, just like sunny days and rainy days. Then, the dark clouds can wash away the sun, and the sun can also illuminate the dark clouds. The foreign aid department of the school organized a volunteer tour, and the day of departure was cloudy.

6. Writing in winter with metaphor

If spring is a new beginning, isn't winter a kind of gestation?

Time series change, four seasons cycle. Life, like the four seasons, needs to jump from one state to another. The four seasons begin with affectionate and gentle spring, then from charming summer to mature autumn, and finally from golden autumn to cold winter. People hate winter. They say winter is desolate, lonely, cold and heartless.

I asked: In your eyes, what is winter?

Don't forget to go for a walk in the wild in the cold season. At this time, the field showed his chest. Golden wheat and rice no longer dance in the breeze, and there are no insects chirping and frogs croaking everywhere. At this point, the field seems to have entered a state of Zen. Farmers are composting, injecting a load of hope into this barren land, and brewing new dreams for the coming year on this land. The cold north wind is still blowing like this. But my friend, after this cold season, can you feel it?

I asked: In your eyes, what does winter mean?

In winter, some animals hibernate, but hibernation is not death. Instead, they are storing energy in a silent way so that they can struggle again in the spring. In winter, flowers and trees lose their brilliance and prosperity, leaving withered branches and leaves. But withering is not rot, they are just gestating, gestating the excitement of swallows when they come back. What are you gestating and pondering this season? Is it just desolate, lonely, indifferent and heartless?

I asked: In your eyes, what does winter symbolize?

Modern people are often empty. Instead of forgetting to go to work, they forgot to meditate after work. Life needs constant leap and perfection, so life also needs meditation. Isn't winter a season of meditation?

The wise poet said: If winter comes, can spring be far behind?

I asked: What does winter mean in your eyes?

Yes, we are a group of young people. We have fanatical pursuit, lofty ideals and belief that we are not afraid of failure. But what is missing? I said: we still lack this kind of meditation in winter.

I don't know whether winter is desolate or heartless in your eyes, but I deeply understand what winter is, what it stands for, what it symbolizes and what it means.

I said: The days with snowflakes are days of meditation and hope.

Analysis: After reading this winter's story, I always feel that the article is not only fluent in language, but also uses various rhetorical devices such as metaphor, personification, antithesis, parallelism and rhetorical questions. The sentences are scattered and rhythmic, and it seems that there are pictures, poems and philosophies in the text, and the rhetorical devices are not limited to those mentioned in the outline. Therefore, reading makes people feel.

7. A short composition describing the scenery to set off the emotions of the characters, with more than 300 words. I remember going back to my hometown a few days ago, and there were several tall and straight poplars in the old house. Under the tree, there are fallen leaves all over the floor, and I can't find a place to stay. It was a cloudy day, with less wind, but Ye Er continued to fall. "Hua, Hua" a burst of applause to welcome me back. A burst of applause dropped the leaves. I can't help but feel a little nervous, not because of him, but because of the present situation. I picked up a withered yellow-green leaf and put it in my palm, highlighting the dense veins as if the wrinkles of the old man were full of vicissitudes. At this time, standing on this land where I was born, I was bathed in the harsh sound of fallen leaves, and there was an unspeakable sadness in my heart. I spent my childhood here, my dreams were released from here, and some past events have been going on. As pure as cotton fudge. In the autumn scenery full of yellow leaves, I am jumping around, playing with fallen leaves, as if catching the hope of youth. When the autumn wind is cool, the clothes my mother sewed for me, whether brand-new or refurbished, are so comfortable and fit. When she dressed me, she casually said, "Put on more clothes when it's cold", which warmed dozens of cool autumn dew. Now my old friend is gone.

8. In just a few days, I fully realized the profound meaning of the composition of Camp 450 through the foil technique-I am new here and live in a dormitory with a chubby girl. Looking at each other, I frowned and almost scoffed. She was shameless and made an introduction with great fanfare. I'm really a little jealous.

Life in the camp is all right, but it's a little troublesome to install hot water bottles. I look reluctant-who wants to run around in hot weather? But the next morning, I was surprised. Three thermos bottles are full. Is that her? Like it or not, I used two bottles rudely. Who told her to mind her own business? Anyway, I will, but someone beat me to it. I put the remaining third thermos on her bedside with a clash. I described the fat girl's sincere dedication every day, and her innocent face was full of joy, which was in stark contrast to my blind acceptance.

In the next few days, I waited, worked hard, enjoyed the fruits of her efforts unceremoniously, and accepted them with more peace of mind. She always smiles innocently.

One day during the competition, she sprained her foot and had to lie on the bed in the dormitory. I am sad.