What and what jokes?

1. On the position, the enemy's attack was extremely fierce.

Everyone was so overwhelmed that they could not lift their heads.

At this moment, a turtle stood up:

Brothers, give me all your glans.

You have to prove that you are a man on the battlefield. Let's go

The sharp knife company on the right is not to be outdone when it sees all the turtles rushing out.

A mosquito stood up:

Brothers, heads can be broken and blood can flow, what's more, we are bleeding other people's blood.

What are we afraid of! Give it all to Lao tze.

The left-wing independence group has long been clamoring.

A fly stood up:

Brothers, we are not afraid of shit, so what are we afraid of? Give it all to Lao tze.

2、

A teacher asked students to write a composition "My Ideal".

1。 One student wrote: My ideal is to be a construction engineer, because I want to design all the classrooms in the school to be round, so that no matter how the teacher punishes me, I will not stand in the corner of the classroom.

2。 A student wrote: My ideal is to be a doctor, because when I become a doctor, I can beat the teacher fair and square!

3。 Another student wrote: My ideal is to be a barber. If I cut the teacher's hair, I can make him bow his head, he bows his head and he looks up!

4。 Another student wrote: My greatest ideal is to be a teacher. It's not because the teacher is so glorious, I just want to let the students stand up as a punishment for stimulating or not! Cheng cheng

3、

"Tell me at once what you stole from my house?" The director was livid.

"yes. Silas only has a box of Viagra, seven condoms and a wallet. "

"Where's Viagra?"

"I ate it all."

"Where are the condoms?"

"It's all consumed by your wife."

"What?" When Mr. Wang mentioned the thief, his mouth watered. "Where's my wallet?"

The thief was a little inarticulate. "I gave your wife a tip."

4、

Life is an egg,

I used to make trouble when I was a child.

Learning without skill is a bad person,

Ignorance is stupid,

I hope to have a beautiful face,

Face like a standard duck egg,

Not an upside-down goose egg,

Skin is like a skinned egg,

Not pickled tea eggs,

Relaxed and boring, bullshit,

If you like freedom, go out,

Whatever you are,

In the end, it will all be over.

5、

The poor divorce.

First marriage, my wife is eighteen.

Second marriage, my wife is 36 years old.

Married for the third time, my wife is 48 years old.

Why?

Every time you divorce, your property will shrink by half.

Cadres get married.

First marriage, my wife is 24 years old.

Married for the second time, my wife is twenty years old.

Married for the third time, my wife is eighteen.

Why?

Every time I get married, I get twice as many red envelopes as last time. ! @ jingjing jingjing

6、

An old man went to town, needed to pee badly, and ran into a public toilet. But I don't know which is the men's room.

W and M are pasted on the two doors respectively. Old people do not know each other. When I was in a hurry, I saw a man with an "M" coming out of the door.

The old man smiled and said, "It's so simple! The squatting is a man and the upturned is a woman. "

7. There was once a beautiful girl standing in front of me. I didn't catch her well until I turned to leave. If God gives me a chance to cherish, I will say to the girl, "Don't go."

If I have to give her an exciting reason to stay, I think it is-"thief, give me back my wallet!" " "

8、

"How much is it?" The young man raised his trousers and asked the toilet manager.

"Five dollars."

"Why is it so expensive?"

"Peeing is calculated by flow. Do not believe that you use your traffic to try surfing the Internet. "

After a while, a fat man came out and asked, "How much is it?"

" 10."

"So expensive?"

"Boss, today's house price is not clear to you. With your floor space. This is just the price of a cheap house. "

Can't stand it, I pointed to the mobile toilet next to me and asked, "How do you calculate this?"

The administrator looked at me and said, "This is calculated by taking a taxi. Starting price+mileage+fuel cost. "

9. Grandma: "Be a man with perseverance and perseverance. Although I have never been to school, I have been reading newspapers every day for decades. "

Grandson: "Grandma is really amazing. I want to learn from you modestly. What newspaper do you read every day? "

Grandma: "The weather forecast." @ Fushan Ye Yi

10, Queen: Jade Emperor, you and I are both beautiful. Why not stay in my daughter country? You are the monarch and I am the queen. From then on, we will fly together. Tang Priest's heart moved and acquiesced. The queen was ecstatic.

Queen: I don't think there are men in such a big country. From now on, you and I will work together to make this country full of men.

Hearing this, the Tang Priest broke out in a cold sweat: Then I will die young.

So he declined politely and continued on his way.

The Tang Priest mused: When I get the real gold, I will return to my daughter's country. At that time, I was a fairy. What was there to be afraid of?

1 1. A nursing student drew my blood and stuck several needles in my arm, but no blood vessels were found.

But this little girl is so calm and serious, and she has the meaning of stabbing blood vessels and not giving up.

After a dozen stitches, I endured severe pain and asked the little nurse in awe: Did you learn this stitch from Sister Rong? @Yongforever

12, it's autumn.

The pine tree sarcastically said to the ginkgo tree, "Time waits for no one. As soon as this autumn comes, you will start to lose your hair again. "

Ginkgo tree retorted, "After all, I can change clothes twice a year, unlike some people who wear a green leather all year round."

The pine tree added, "It doesn't matter if you change your body several times a year. If you change it, don't strip."