The hunter took the hounds to hunt.

I collected that. I usually have this hobby. You need a longer one. Well, I still have a lot of cold jokes and short jokes here.

(* _ _ *) Hee hee ...

Super composition for fifth-grade girls in primary school

Topic-me thirty years later

Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote: The weather is good today. I take my children to Da 'an Forest Park to play.

We are driving a Lawrence car bought by my husband, with the big diamond ring he just bought me last month on our fingers and around our necks.

Just gave me a gold chain. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly,

On the road, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out. Let me take a closer look ~ ~ ~ Oh, my God! She actually

Ran is my fifth grade Chinese teacher! …………

1. Five Fuwa get together to chat.

Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname. I'll call it Beva!

Jingjing: Then my name is Jingwa!

Huanhuan: My name is Huanwa!

Nini: My name is "Niwa"!

Yingying stood up and said, You can chat. I have something to do. I have to go first. ...

It is said that in 2058, five Fuwa got together to chat again.

Beibei: Let's talk about our nicknames again. People respect me very much and call me "Mr. Bei"!

Huanhuan: People call me "Ye Huan"!

Nini: Everyone calls me Grandpa Ni!

Yingying: Everyone calls me Yingying!

Jingjing stood up and said, You talk. I have something to do. I have to go first. ...

One day, a man met God. ..

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish.

God asked …

Do you have any wishes …

The man wanted to think. ...

I heard that cats have nine lives. ...

Then please give me nine lives. ..

God said, ..

Your wish has come true. ...

One day, that man was idle and bored …

I want to say die. ...

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks ...

As a result, a train passed by. ...

That man is still dead ...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars …

The whole family, the whole family is lazy.

My father asked my mother to do housework, and my mother asked my elder sister to do it if she didn't want to.

Big sister doesn't want to do it, so let her do it.

But my sister didn't want to do it either, so she let the dog do it.

One day, a guest came home and was surprised to find that the dog was doing housework.

Ask the dog: Can you do housework?

The dog said, if they don't do it, I will!

The guest is even more surprised: can you talk?

Puppy: Shh! Keep your voice down Otherwise, they know I can talk and let me answer the phone!

A hunter went hunting with his hounds and wandered around the forest all day without any prey.

It was dark, but he continued riding in the Woods.

The horse suddenly said,' You won't even let me rest. You want to kill me! ? '

The hunter got a fright, immediately got off his horse and ran away with the hounds.

When I ran under the big tree to catch my breath,

The dog patted him on the chest and said to him:

Scared me to death, horses can talk! '

So the hunter was scared to death on the spot. ..............

The army recruits animals to fight in the army.

So all the animals in the forest should come for a physical examination.

The number one monkey really doesn't want to join the army.

He looked at his long tail.

So the tooth took a hard bite and decided to break him.

After going in ...

The doctor said: the monkey's tail is broken, so he is disabled and doesn't need to be a soldier.

The second rabbit saw the monkey do this.

I also resolutely broke my long ears.

After going in ...

The military doctor said: the rabbit's ear is broken, it's disabled, so he doesn't need to be a soldier …

The third black bear thought. ..

"What if the ears are so short and the tail is almost the same?" 』

Kind rabbits and monkeys come to help him find a way. ..

Suddenly the monkey shouted, I know it's disabled to knock out your teeth!

So the monkey and the rabbit gave the black bear a good beating.

Break all his teeth. .....

Although the black bear was in pain, he was happy to go in for a physical examination.

Soon after, I saw the black bear come out with his mouth covered.

Cry and say ...

Asshole ... they said I was too fat to be a soldier.

A software company is recruiting.

On this day, a dog came to apply. The supervisor felt depressed and wanted to drive the dog out. The dog took out a piece of paper and a pen.

Write a few words neatly: please don't discriminate against animals.

The manager knows that this is not an ordinary dog. Out of curiosity, he decided to have a try.

The manager took out the application conditions, which read: 1. Must be able to type. 2。 Must be able to program. 3。 Be proficient in at least one subject

foreign language

So the dog came to the computer, skillfully typed an article and wrote a very complicated program. then

Come to the supervisor and say: meow! !

One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly there was a big rush next to him, and when he passed by, the driver shouted at him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Say that finish, 1 of "sou" took off.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the gas to catch up.

Seeing him catch up, the driver stretched out his head and shouted to him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Then, the whoosh disappeared again.

"Mama of, cow B what!" Mr. Wang felt better after scolding, so he stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw that the bus just turned over on the side of the road. He was curious and slowly approached.

I saw the driver is under the car, a faint said:

"The elder brothers, ran a catastrophe? Do you know where its brakes are? "

Teacher 9: "You finally came! Why didn't you come to class yesterday? "

Student: "Because, because, my mother fell down the stairs."

Teacher: "Oh! I see. Mom was hurt, so you didn't come. "

Student: "No ... My father was injured ..."

Teacher: "Why did your mother fall down the stairs and your father get hurt?"

Student: "Because .. my dad has a woman outside .."

Teacher: "What? .. what does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs? "

Student: "because they were fighting .. my mother fell, it's okay." My father was injured by my mother. "

Teacher: "Oh ... so you didn't come to class because you took dad to the hospital?"

Student: "No, that woman outside sent my dad."

Teacher: "Then why didn't you come to class?"

Student: "Because I overslept."

Teacher: "What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs! ? "

Student: "No, I ... I just mentioned it by the way ..."

A blind beggar was begging in the street wearing sunglasses.

A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred dollars.

After walking for a while, the drunk turned around and happened to see the blind man with his back to the sun to distinguish the authenticity of a hundred-dollar bill.

The drunk came over and took the money back and said, "You fucking don't want to live, how dare you lie to me!" " "

The blind beggar said with a look of injustice, "Big Brother, I'm really sorry. I'm looking for a friend. He is a

Blind man, I went to the bathroom. Actually, I'm dumb. "

"Oh, I see," so the drunk dropped his money and staggered away again. ...

Daming's wife is going to have a baby

Daming is waiting anxiously outside the delivery room.

Suddenly, Daming heard a "wow"

After that, a nurse came out with her child in her arms.

Daming hurriedly asked if it was a man or a woman.

The nurse said, "Guess."

"male?"

"No."

"Woman?"

"You are so smart. You guessed it in two strokes. "

13 He had an accident and the car hit his head.

He was in a coma for two days and finally woke up.

When he opened his eyes, his wife was beside him.

He held his wife's hand and said earnestly:

"When I was in college, I often made up exams. At that time, you were with me. 」

"When all my interviews failed, you cut out the job advertisements for me by my side and asked me to apply. ...

And in the end, I was responsible for a very important contract, but I screwed up because of a small mistake, by my side.

Still you. 」

"Then I found another job after being unemployed for a period of time, but I never got a promotion and my efforts were not recognized.

Similarly,

So my position is the same as when I first entered the company, and you are still by my side ... "

His wife listened to his confession with tears in her eyes.

Now I have an accident. When I wake up, I find you still by my side, and I have something to tell you …

…」

She hugged her husband by the bed and sobbed deeply. Then, the husband said:

I think ... you let me down ... "

14 Xiao Wang is walking on the road and sees a frog.

Suddenly the frog said, "please kiss me, sir, and I will become a princess. I will give you a kiss."

Xiao Wang stopped, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket and walked on.

The frog said, please kiss me quickly. I want to stay with you for a day. You can do whatever you want.

Xiao Wang took the frog out of his pocket, looked at it, smiled, put it back in his pocket and walked on.

After a while, the frog said, well, well, I'd like to stay with you for a week. Please kiss me quickly.

Xiao Wang took the frog out of his pocket again, looked at it, smiled, put it back in his pocket and walked on.

The frog said, what's the matter? Isn't a week enough? How long do you need?

Xiao Wang took out the frog and said,

I'm an engineer and I don't have time to fool around with women, but it's cool to have a talking frog.

At the 15 art festival, we are going to dance a horrible group dance-it needs violence and difficulty, such as falling down quickly and lifting our legs high.

Action. As a result, everyone couldn't stand it after practicing for a few days. Some of them were covered with scars, some pulled muscles ... my right leg was hurt.

It's serious. It doesn't work! I go to class on the third floor today. God, I just straighten my right leg step by step.

Lift it. The most exasperating thing is that I heard two girls behind me muttering, "I'm still studying in a big city."

The school is more formal. If it were in our hometown, polio would not go to school at all! ! "

Two ants were walking on the road when they suddenly saw a big pear. Type the country name. Answer 1: ant a.

: Hey, big pear? (Italy) Answer 2: Ant B: "Shh, pear." (Syria) Answer 3: O, Dali.

Ah. Answer 4: Ant B: "Hey, move." (Spain) Answer 5: Ant A: "I'll come.

! (Brunei) Answer 6: Ant B: "Hold it at home." Answer 7: If you can't hold on, the ants will come out.

Idea: "Eat pears." Answer 8: Ant B took a bite and said, "The pear is not tender." (Lebanon)

Answer 9: Ant A also took a bite and said, "Face." Answer 10: Ant B took another bite and said:

"A pear." (Israel)

17

A 10-year-old pupil found that mathematics in grade five was really the most difficult lesson in his life.

Tutors, classmates, CD teaching films and teaching materials are useless.

Finally, parents decided to transfer their children to private primary schools, not ordinary private primary schools, but Catholic schools.

The first day of school came, and the little guy began to take risks in a great strange world.

After coming back from school that day, he walked past his parents, went back to his room and closed the door.

After working hard for two hours, I went out to eat and went straight back upstairs, doing my homework carefully until I went to bed.

This pattern continued day after day until the first report card was issued.

That day, the child walked into the house, put the envelope on the dining table and went back to his room to do his homework. His parents opened it.

The results list, to their surprise, was an A in math.

They rushed to their son's room in high spirits, excited about his progress.

"Are those nuns?" Dad asked.

"No." The son replied.

"Is it a prayer before class?" My mother asked.

"No.

"Is it a textbook, a teacher or a course?" Dad asked.

"No, it isn't. 」

"oh! So, what is the reason? " My mother asked.

"On the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the plus sign. I know ... they're serious.

One day, a confessor came to the church.

He said to the priest, [Father, I was wrong. ]

The priest said: [As long as you admit your mistake, God will certainly forgive you. ]

The confessor said, [I stole a man's bike, and now I want to give it to you. ]

The priest said: [No! Don't give it to me. Give it back to the donor. ]

The confessor said, [I asked him, but he didn't want it. ]

The priest said: [then you can accept it! ]

When the priest got off work, he found that the bicycle parked in the backyard was gone!