How to write this composition? It’s my first time and I’m not sure. I don’t know how to start. Please give me some advice. Thank you!

Example:

The so-called difficulty of being a human being is actually the difficulty of being a real human being. Life has taught us that there is too much real cruelty in the world. In order to protect ourselves, we put on beautiful disguises, like chameleons, constantly changing our colors and trying to be consistent with the environment - although we also knew that we were Being consistent and losing yourself at the same time.

I remember there was a joke that there was a poor man in ancient times who was very vain even though he had no food to eat. He always had a piece of lard hanging at the door of his house, and every time he went out, he had to use pig fat. I wipe my mouth with oil, and then I ask people if they have eaten, trying to use the oil on my mouth to show that I live a healthy life. It turns out that when I saw this joke, I thought this person was really funny. Now think about it carefully, everyone in reality has the shadow of this "funny poor man". There are too many examples of poor people pretending to be rich in real life. If there is a difference, it may just be a different way of expressing it. I have no intention to comment on these, and sometimes I even feel that maybe this is also a necessity in life, for example, in order not to be looked down upon by others, in order to maintain due dignity, in order to get a chance, for a compliment...even There is no reason, I just like it.

I have also thought about why this is the case, but I still don’t have an answer, so I just don’t think about it. After it seemed that I had "mature", I realized that I had lost too many things. For example, in order to maintain consensus, I neglected my sharp critical spirit; in order to show that I was calm, I even slowed down my thoughts and reactions; in order to show that I was generous, Even if you risk your life, you must accompany a gentleman; in order to show that you are self-restrained, you must keep smiling even when you are angry; in order to show that you have taste, you should give up your favorite Erguotou and pick up a goblet filled with sour liquid... We I no longer even recognize myself.

Is there a way for us to find our true selves? I have no idea. But I think that to be true to yourself, you must first maintain inner truth. To maintain inner truth, you must abandon all vanity and have a strong power to resist the power of others to influence your thoughts and behaviors. Of course, it is possible to remain true to yourself without desires and desires, but in this world, people who have no desires and desires are basically "cave people" and have become extinct. Since we have to have desires, survive, develop, and be free, can't people be real? I think otherwise. I remember what Balao said: A person should try to tell the truth and not lie; when the truth can be told, he must tell the truth; when the truth is not welcomed, speak as little as possible; when the truth is received, In situations of rejection and suppression, you don’t have to speak. It is difficult for us to reach Ba Jin's state, but we can admire him, imitate him and learn from him. I think this is very helpful in finding your true self.