How many times have you had doubts or breakdowns about your life since you started working? Or doubt the meaning of work?

At the beginning of this year, I met Xiao Jiu whom I hadn't seen for a long time.

Xiao Jiu is my junior high school classmate, so to speak, we are good brothers who help each other. I failed in the exam, and he invited me to dinner to comfort me. He was criticized by the teacher, so I stood up to defend him. At that time, he was very charitable.

Later, I went to Hainan to study in high school and work in Hainan. We haven't met until now.

I had a cup of hot coffee with him in the coffee shop. Then I told what happened to me over the years.

Xiao Jiu has changed a lot. I remember when he was in junior high school, he was a loud voice, because he was wide and fat, and his words were full of gas. Now, he is less domineering and more restrained, and begins to talk with his head down and not look at people.

Xiao Jiu told me that after graduating from college, he borrowed several hundred dollars from friends at home and started a small business. After several years, he not only didn't make any money, but also lost a lot of money and owed debts to relatives and friends.

Now he has come to Shenzhen by evading debts. I was a little sad to see him down and out.

I asked him, what are you going to do?

He said that it is time to go step by step.

I asked him, do you still have confidence to do it? He didn't answer me directly, just shook his head. He began to doubt his ability and value.

As you can imagine, he must have gone through a lot of sad journeys over the years, turning such a confident teenager into a cautious middle-aged uncle.

Many times, when we keep paying, but we can't get the desired results, we often begin to doubt ourselves. I believe that Xiao Jiu has gone through many bumpy roads before giving up and moving on.

I don't know how hard setbacks will hit a person, but what I want to say is that life is not always smooth sailing. Many times, we need to keep hitting the wall and trying to make mistakes before we know which way to take, and then choose a road to go on. Most importantly, we should be able to stand up.

In fact, I know that no matter how much I comfort Xiao Jiu, no matter how much I preach, I can't cheer him up at once.

Maybe you will have this experience:

When you doubt yourself, you will always focus on your incompetence, which will make you feel useless;

When you doubt yourself, you always trap yourself in the result of failure, which leads you to taste the bitterness of failure all the time;

When you doubt yourself, you always blame yourself so deeply that you are always depressed and upset.

Most of the time, we are not incapable, but trapped in the trap of failure and temporarily unable to move.

I told Xiao Jiu, otherwise you don't want anything for the time being and leave yourself alone in a different environment. For example, you can travel far away to relax yourself.

He accepted my suggestion. Later, we separated. We haven't seen each other for a long time.

One day, I received a phone call from Xiao Jiu. He told me that he went to Beijing for a week. He decided to stay in Beijing and start over. On the other end of the phone, there was his hearty laughter.

After I put the phone down, I silently said to him, I wish you success!

When we are already in deep failure, you will wonder if there is anything wrong with you. If you never get out of this quagmire of failure, you will sink forever. So try to get yourself out of this quagmire step by step, leave this environment that makes you fail, and you will get out of the strange circle of doubting yourself. Once people climb out of the muddy mire, they will gain the power of rebirth. This kind of power will have a great positive impact on your later life. I believe that Xiao Jiu will draw energy from this failed experience, maintain its momentum and regain its confidence in life.

When you doubt yourself, it is inevitable that you will have the idea of giving up on yourself. As long as we have the courage to persevere, flower of life will eventually bloom.

In the face of failure, there are often two kinds of people: the first is those who deny themselves, and the second is those who deny what has failed. People who can often come out of failure and rise are the second kind.

20 14 I participated in a human resource management forum. At that forum, I met a friend who has been engaged in human resource management for more than three years. For more than three years, she has always believed that hard work will pay off. So she worked very hard. In her words, she goes to bed later than the dog, gets up earlier than the chicken, and often works overtime until 10 at night. However, her efforts did not bring her any obvious gains. She always feels that she can't work hard. She has studied many human resources courses and mastered many practical tools of human resources management, but her grades are always mediocre and her career development has been stagnant.

She told me that she felt that she worked hard, but she was still mediocre. She really doubted her ability.

I asked her, have you ever thought that it is because some of your characteristics are not suitable for human resources work rather than because your ability is not good?

She was suddenly moved and said, I never thought about it! Now that you mention it, I think maybe I'm not suitable for it.

I keep asking her, have you ever thought about changing careers?

She said that she had thought about selling it before, because she preferred to deal with others.

I said, why don't you change your sales job related to human resources?

Later, she really chose headhunting. This job is more about seeking cooperation with enterprises and developing new customers. On the one hand, it not only developed her knowledge of human resource management, but also satisfied her interest in sales. So she is very self-motivated and can make achievements in her work. In the first quarter, her performance ranked third in the company and first among newcomers.

Many times, we can't do a job well, often not because we are incompetent, but because we are not suitable.

We can fail, but we can't stand still in the face of failure; We can doubt the failed behavior, but don't doubt the value of our existence. Many people, when they fail, feel that they can't do this or that, and eventually degrade themselves to nothing, and then they will never recover.

When you doubt yourself, as long as you are positive about your core values, you will never be defeated.

Starting from 1995, Shi Yuzhu, which made its fortune with giant Hanka, began to take the road of diversification. He not only spent 250 million yuan to build a 72-story "Giant Building" in Zhuhai, but also set up more than a dozen business departments such as the Ministry of Clothing Industry, the Ministry of Cosmetics Industry and the Ministry of Supply and Marketing Industry, and successively developed more than 30 kinds of products such as clothing, health products, medicines and software. As a result, due to diversification, a series of investments were not made. ?

After Shi Yuzhu fell from the peak to the bottom, although he once felt that "the sky was falling", he did not recover in the end and faced it negatively, but he was still struggling tenaciously. After the "giant" fell, he left Zhuhai and almost traveled all over the country, inspecting everywhere, and the last stop was the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau. He also climbed Mount Everest, and even almost died on the snowy mountain because he didn't have the money to invite a guide. But he never intended to retire and vowed to make a comeback. ?

Even when I am poor to only a few tens of dollars, I am still full of confidence in my future success. In Shi Yuzhu's view, no matter how much failure a person faces, "as long as the spirit is still there and the indomitable spirit is still there, he can completely stand up again". Shi Yuzhu never doubted himself. He always believed that his ability could make him make a comeback. Therefore, Shi Yuzhu did not apply to the relevant departments for the bankruptcy of the Giant Group. Shi Yuzhu said, "This debt of up to 250 million is the biggest spiritual motivation to encourage me to start a second business." ?

Shi Yuzhu once lived in seclusion in Nanjing, from the event of "Big House" to his comeback with melatonin. During this period, what Shi Yuzhu did most was to keep reading and reflect on his own problems and shortcomings through comparison.

Shi Yuzhu also learned from these mistakes. In order to know what his mistake was, he asked people to read a negative article about him in the newspaper at that time and see other people's "diagnosis" of his failure. The more vicious the article, the more times he read it, and even organized an "internal criticism meeting" to let people around him "fire" at him. ?

In the face of that failure, Shi Yuzhu showed great sincerity-not only frankly admitted and accepted the failure "failure is failure, there is nothing to explain", but he never ended in failure, but started with failure.

It is with self-reflection, pragmatism and self-confidence that the spark sown by Shi Yuzhu in the national county market finally started a prairie fire. Melatonin has brought Shi Yuzhu more than 654.38 billion+in profits, made him return to the club of first-line businessmen, and made Shi Yuzhu start a more brilliant entrepreneurial course.

Whenever we fail and are unhappy, we always doubt ourselves. When we are lovelorn, we will wonder if we are not good enough; When we fail to start a business, we will doubt our ability; When we waste our time, but we still achieve nothing when we are approaching the age of no doubt, we will doubt whether we have a chance to turn over.

What I want to say is that when we point all these doubts at ourselves, we really failed. As long as you always believe that your countless failures are just preparing for your success, you just missed an opportunity, so even if you have nothing now, you still have a chance to get ahead.

Before becoming famous, the famous writer Yu Hua published his novels in various magazines all over the country, but as a result, he did receive rejection letters from all over the country. But he didn't give up. He continued to write and vote, and as a result, he received one rejection letter after another from all over the country. But he didn't give up. He believes that his works are the best. 1987- 1988, he suddenly received invitations from more than a dozen publications. Yu Hua said that a truly talented writer will not be buried after all.

Are you gold? If you believe it, then you are.

I know an entrepreneur, the boss of an LED company in Shenzhen. Now he is in his fifties. He started his business in his forties. Before he was 40, he was still poor. Before that, he had been looking for his own way. Until he was 48, he had his own family and bought a house. He said that he once doubted himself and his value in this world, and he wasted a long time. But until one day, he found that his life was almost halfway through, and if this continues, this life will really be like this. So he decided to start over. Once a person's thinking mode changes, there will be brand-new energy, thus creating a brand-new self. He did it.

(Liu's original works, please pay attention to WeChat official account: szqd 138! )