Scary humorous jokes

Horrible humorous jokes

Telling some jokes often can not only bring happiness to yourself, but also infect others. Here I have collected some terrible humorous jokes. Let’s take a look. !

Chapter 1: Horrible humorous jokes

1. A couple always quarreled, and one time they quarreled again. The husband killed his wife in a rage, and then she The body was buried in the back yard.

After a few days, the man felt very strange, why the child had not seen his mother in the past few days but did not ask himself at all?

So one day he asked the child, "Haha, mom is not at home these days, why are you not anxious at all?"

The child replied: "I feel so strange, dad, why are you like this?" How many days have you been carrying your mother on your back?"

2. Who do you believe?

One year the mountaineering club went hiking, and there was a couple who had a good relationship together.

When they got to the bottom of the mountain and prepared to attack the peak, the weather suddenly turned bad, but they still insisted on going up the mountain.

So they left the woman to watch the camp, but after three days I didn’t see them coming back.

The woman was a little worried, thinking it might be because of the weather.

Waiting and waiting, on the seventh day, everyone finally came back , but her boyfriend was the only one who didn’t come back.

Everyone told her that on the first day of the summit, her boyfriend unfortunately died!

They rushed to the top of the mountain in the first seven days. came back, thinking that he might come back to find her.

So everyone formed a circle and put her in the middle. When it was almost twelve o'clock, her boyfriend suddenly appeared, covered in blood. He grabbed her and ran away. His girlfriend screamed in fright and struggled hard. At this time, her boyfriend told her...

A mountain disaster happened on the first day of the summit!

Everyone is dead but he is still alive...

Who do you believe?

3. Why are there so many people?

One day, a friend after get off work returned to his dormitory at night and pressed the elevator button on the first floor. He wanted to go to the sixth floor.

Fortunately, the elevator came right away. .....

He walked in, but there was no one inside. When he walked in, the elevator closed immediately....

It went up... it went up. .....

When we reached the fourth floor, the elevator suddenly opened.

There were two people peeking outside, wanting to come in, but they didn’t know why. Didn't come in again.

The elevator door closed again. Just when the elevator door was about to close, my friend clearly heard them saying: "Why are there so many people! Chapter 2: Horrible Humor Jokes

1. Eating apples

On a dark and stormy night, on the longest and scariest road?

The taxi driver Driving there?

There was a woman on the side of the road waving to get in the car? Hmm? Along the way? It was quite quiet?

Until the woman spoke?

She said, "I'll give you an apple. It's delicious. The driver thought it was great, so he took it."

Then he took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?"

The driver said: "It's delicious!" The woman replied again: "I also liked eating apples when I was alive

Wow?amp;*$#@?When the driver heard , was so frightened that he braked suddenly and turned pale?

I saw the woman slowly tilting her head forward and said to the driver?

Do you want to know what she said?

?But I didn’t like eating it after I gave birth to a baby!

2. There were two people.

In a remote village, there was a small intestine on a trail. A straight telephone pole, strange to say, people often have accidents there. Soon a young man and woman were accidentally knocked down by a bicycle and died on the spot. One night, 5-year-old Xiaozhi and his mother passed by there on the way home. Xiaozhi suddenly said: "Mom, there are two people on the telephone pole." ?The mother took his hand and walked away quickly and said: ?Children, don’t talk nonsense!?But the matter spread quickly. One day, a reporter came to interview Xiaozhi and asked him to take him to see the place where the car accident occurred. , Xiaozhi led him there generously, and the reporter asked: "Where is it?" Xiaozhi pointed to it.

The reporter looked up and saw a sign hanging on the telephone pole, which read: Traffic safety is everyone’s responsibility

3. Ghosts asking for life

Once upon a time There was a man who had a girlfriend. He loved her more than anyone in the world. But one day, his girlfriend left him ruthlessly without even giving him a reason. Seeing his girlfriend being held by others while shopping, he was so miserable that he lost his mind. Finally one day he killed his girlfriend. Originally he planned to kill her and then commit suicide. But when you are about to die, you feel the preciousness of life. From then on, he was troubled by nightmares every day. In the dream, his girlfriend was naked, with disheveled hair, a red tongue hanging on the ground, and her fingers were like hooks, asking for her life. The nightmare tortured him until his bones were broken, and one day he found a Taoist priest to get rid of him.

The Taoist priest asked him to do three things

Firstly, bury his girlfriend’s body properly

Secondly, give him the pajamas that his girlfriend wore when she was alive Burn

Third, wash the hidden bloody clothes

Everything must be completed before the third watch, otherwise there will be death!

He followed the Taoist priest's instructions and did everything very carefully, but the bloody clothes could not be found. It was about to be the third watch, and big beads of sweat dripped from his face and wet the carpet. When it was about to be the third watch, he found the bloody clothes, but no matter how hard he rubbed, he couldn't wash it off. At this time, suddenly there was a strong wind and thunder and lightning. The windows were swaying from side to side due to the strong wind, and the sound of shattering glass made people even more frightened. Suddenly all the lights went out, and the whole room was dark.

In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing pajamas stained with blood, with blood dripping from her eyes. She pointed at him with a ferocious face and said sternly: "Do you know why the blood stains can't be washed away? He was scared." I was speechless and couldn't say a word.

My girlfriend continued: Because you didn’t use Diao brand washing powder, idiot. ?;