The funniest humorous joke

After all, good jokes are wonderful, but the jokes made by students have no lasting vitality. If you have a meaningful joke in front of you, will you still miss it? What follows is the funniest humorous joke I have carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

The funniest humorous joke (popular)

1. Fish head went to visit the first expert in Wulin and asked: Excuse me, Mr. Expert, you have fought many battles and never lost. What is the secret? Is it an innate advantage or an acquired effort? The master flashed his weapon: See this judge's pen? This was given to me by my confidante when I was young. This is the secret of my success. Fish head: Why? Master: The pen of a bosom friend wins every battle.

2. In geography class, a girl didn't listen and put on makeup at the bottom. The teacher stepped forward and asked, can you describe your face with two place names? The girl couldn't figure it out, so she asked him what it was. The teacher replied: Dalian, Taiyuan.

3. A hospital stipulates to get off work at half past noon. In order to see emergency patients, there is a sign hanging at the entrance of the hospital outpatient department, which lists all kinds of details in a long space, where to find a nurse, how to contact a nurse, what to do before the nurse comes, and so on. Then, the last paragraph of the sign reads: If you really have time to read the details, then your illness is not an emergency. Come back after work tomorrow.

4. Chatting online. Goddess: Do you know what you are in my heart? Male diaosi: What is it? Goddess: Half of them are male gods. The male diaosi was flattered and asked quickly, who is the other half? Goddess: The other half is sick.

After the spring rain, the petals fell to the ground. Xiao Li and his girlfriend are walking under the begonia tree. His girlfriend looked at the falling petals and said, I'm standing here. It will be fun if you kick me! Only after breaking up did Xiao Li know that his girlfriend kicked a tree, not a person!

6. A couple were walking when a strong wind suddenly blew. The man is busy holding the girl in his arms: this is going to hug you well! The girl was moved to tears! Q: Am I that important? Man: It's so heavy! If I hold you, I will be safe.

The wolf ate his grandmother and pretended to sleep in bed. Little red riding hood came later, and the wolf said, Little red riding hood, come and show your grandmother. ? Little red and little red riding hood said, you are not my grandmother. ? The wolf is afraid: How do you know? Little red and little red riding hood said, your penis is showing. ? Share fairy tale jokes and wish you happiness.

8. Two colleagues are chatting. A: There is bad news and good news. Which one should I listen to first? B: It's broken. A: The bad news is that there is no good news. Then listen to the good news first. The good news is that there is no such bad news.

9. The new colleague snores loudly, which is unbearable. He asked the boss to change rooms. Boss: Why? Xiao Wang: He snores at night. Boss: You don't sleep at night. Why do you eavesdrop on people snoring? Xiao Wang: OK, I was wrong!

10. The United States will vote in the morning and know who is the president in the afternoon. North Koreans said contemptuously to Americans, we don't have to vote, we will know when we are young. The Russians smiled faintly, and our president became tired when he was tired. A Cuban looked at you doubtfully and asked weakly, Brother, can we change leaders? The Iraqi replied loudly: If you can change it, why not! If you don't change it yourself, the Americans will change it for you!

1 1. Why didn't the United States dare to hit North Korea? A: North Korea is very poor. If a missile is worth a million dollars, if you blow it up, there will be nothing. Q: What happened between the United States and North Korea? A: Adolescence meets menopause! One is in charge of everything, and the other is in charge of everything.

12. There is a blue sky in the White House, selfless, salty and sweet. John Kerry came to help, Biden and Hagel were beside him. Hillary Clinton is broad and fat, Kang Dozza Lee is a hero, and Locke has an iron arm. Old Gates is still outstanding, and Panetta has extraordinary courage. These five mice, Jin Lan, universal democracy and American values, have opened letters and visits offices in North America.

The funniest humorous joke (classic)

1. In McDonald's and other buddies, some junior high school students around me are doing their homework while eating hamburgers, deeply feeling that their children are also very pitiful. Their parents are busy at work, so they can only eat junk food for dinner. Suddenly, one of the boys said to the other, we eat McDonald's with the class fee. How can we explain it to the teacher? ?

When I was a child, I was in the park with my cousin, and a familiar figure appeared. Isn't that my second uncle My cousin and I ran excitedly, and we shouted all the way? Uncle, uncle? When I was running, the man turned around, and I realized it wasn't my uncle, so I said? 29, 30, 3 1? , while continuing to run forward.

3. Some children patted the ball under the big tree and accidentally brought it into the hole in the tree. The hole in the tree is too deep for the ball to come out. Just when other children were at a loss, one of them reached into the hole in the tree and took the ball out easily. The children praised in unison: Liu Bei still has ideas.

4.？ Sister, your old Wang Du still follows other girls every day. ? Follow it. Look at that dog running after the car in the street every day. Even if it catches up, will it still drive?

When I was in love in college, I went for a walk at night, which was just affected by the typhoon. It's windy in school! He held me in his arms and murmured, this will hold you well! I was moved to tears! Deep question: am I that important? The goods answer: It's heavy! This tonnage cannot be blown away. If I hold you, I will be safe.

6. While I was not looking, my classmate put a sticker on the back of my clothes. I never found it. I posted it for days without telling me. Finally, I found it and asked my mother: didn't you see this sticker when you washed clothes? Mom said: I saw it! I asked, then why don't you help me take it off? Mom said innocently, I thought it was a trademark. I was afraid of washing, so I took it off and washed it, and then put it on you when it was dry.

7. My wife recently finished watching The First Drop of Blood. I told her there was a second one and told her to search online. Half an hour later, she lost her temper and said she couldn't find it. I walked over and saw her searching for "the second drop of blood".

8. To be fair, a house girl is one of the most ideal companions. She has a topic, so hello. Only occasionally, I have a friend. My sister met a crappy house online. She is considerate, lively, gentle and lovely. This guy has been in poor health since he was a child. Once, his leg cramps tortured him in bed. He texted his sister to come and send me some calcium tablets. After the clock, my sister happily opened his door with a mobile hard disk.

9. The young monk asked the master, why do I sometimes feel happy and sometimes depressed? Master A: This is a Zen machine. Little monk: Why do I sometimes feel quiet and sometimes want to get angry? Master: This is a Zen machine. Little monk: Why do I sometimes love the emptiness in this temple and sometimes miss the noise at the foot of the mountain? Master A: This is a Zen machine. Little monk: Master, what exactly is a Zen machine? Host: Idiot, I mean you are greedy for chickens!

10. Only about half of the students came to Max's class this morning. The teacher glared at the monitor: What's the matter, where are the others in your class? The monitor is a girl. She hesitated for a long time, but she couldn't say anything. Tears are about to drop, and it's no use being wronged. A boy next to him whispered, some can't get up, some can't get up, some can't get up, some can't get up!

1 1. Donkeys don't pull the mill any more, they squeak around it all day. What can they do? The owner gave it a pair of black eye patches, saying that the sun was shining so that it could go far away. The donkey was very happy and walked with his master all day. In the evening, his master said that he would rest in this family. The donkey sadly found that after a day's drive, the donkey shed in this house was no different from that in the owner's house.

12. Xiaoyu begged the Zen master to solve the puzzle of life, and the Zen master closed his eyes and did not answer. Xiaoyu invited again and again, but the Zen master was helpless. He took a pen and paper and made a poem, saying: Swan and bird flew away, and the courtyard was supported by a solitary tree. One dagger a night, one less horizontal. ? The little fish is puzzled and asks the Zen master for an answer. The Zen master was angry. Shit, what is that? Me, sleepy, dead? Stop fucking bothering me! ? Hehe, share a joke and have fun.

The funniest humorous joke (selected article)

1. When I was in middle school, one of my classmates was late. When he ran panting to the door of the classroom, he saw the math teacher in class. The classmate was scared ~ The teacher stared and asked: What took you so long? ! I'm ~ I'm late for dinner? Who knows the teacher shouted: late for dinner? You didn't eat the plate? ! ! ?

2. what a nuisance I don't know whose Bluetooth name it is recently. There is an old sow? . It shows up every time I turn on Bluetooth? There is an old sow? Paired with you. . . .

I am forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to take an umbrella when I go out in rainy days, so there are ten umbrellas at home now.

4. The beautician has come to Kaifeng. ? I'm here to provide you with beauty services for free. ? Really? Bao Zheng jumped for joy. Then please help our government get rid of blackheads. ? Ok, my Lord, please borrow the tiger's spear. ? Share a joke through the cold, and have a happy day when you are in a good mood.

Lately, procrastination has become a common phenomenon in Tiangong, and its efficiency is extremely low. The Jade Emperor is determined to correct this unhealthy trend. In order to set an example for others, he decided to start with Li Jing. Mountain soldiers caught Excavate, and Excavate cried very grievance. I'm not procrastinating. The jade emperor sneered: sophistry! Everyone knows that your name is procrastinating Li Tianwang. Share a joke, I hope you don't procrastinate. I wish you a good mood and happy time every day.

6. She is the most perfect woman in the world. She was born in a noble family, natural and graceful, young and plump, fair-skinned and beautiful, polite and gentle, with countless real estate and tens of millions of family assets, but sudden events took away her husband's life, but obviously she was not knocked down by cruel life, buried her husband, went back to the road, and was generously active in advertisements paying for children on every telephone pole.

7. On this day, Guanyin studied Buddhism for four people, with white as the reward, and the highest-ranking Xu could take advantage of it. Sanzang talks a lot and thinks he's the winner. Unexpectedly, the Bodhisattva finally gave the White Horse Dragon to Friar Sand. Sanzang refused and asked him why. Bodhisattva replied: Because of Shaqima.

8. One day in summer, I saw a buddy buying knee pads and asked him to play ball and keep fit? The goods lost a sentence that I struggled for a long time to understand. He said: the weather is hot and the mat is too hard.

9. I saw a super-connotative ID on the forum today:? Girlfriend diabetes makes my teeth decay? That's fucking connotation!

10. The husband came to the airport to meet his wife. Wife:? Why are you so sad? Look at that couple over there, talking and laughing, how happy they are. ? Husband:? He gave it to her. ?

1 1. According to a friend, he went on a blind date and both sides were satisfied after the meeting. After dinner, my buddy offered to send her home, resulting in a traffic jam for two hours. My buddy is in a hurry! I have no choice. I sat in the back row and asked the girl if she had a drink bottle. The girl blushed and took out a bottle of mineral water. At this moment, the buddy came to a sentence? Is there a nutrition express? Now they are husband and wife. This is a harmony. ...

12. A sister paper asked: Samsung is getting bigger and bigger, Apple is getting longer and longer, and Nokia is getting harder and harder. Nowadays, girls don't even know which one to choose when buying a mobile phone. User comments: It takes a long time to make it in China!