Humorous jokes about boys chasing girls

It is an embarrassing thing, and it will be unpleasant to complain or ignore at this time, not only the people under the stage, but also the people on the

Humorous jokes about boys chasing girls

It is an embarrassing thing, and it will be unpleasant to complain or ignore at this time, not only the people under the stage, but also the people on the stage. Using humor can help you solve your embarrassment. I collected some for you. Let's have a look.

Careful selection

1 A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you ever had a premarital examination?" "Yes, his house and car are gone." "I'm going to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

A couple was caught by a savage in the mountains. The savage said to them: you will let you go if you eat each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, you don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much.

In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and said to the man, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. I am a doctor. "

A Dai went to his girlfriend's house and saw no one in the living room, so he shouted, Where are you? Girlfriend: I'm washing dates. There's nobody at home. Come and help me! A Dai is shy and silent. Girlfriend impatient: Come on! What are you doing? A Dai: I'm taking off my clothes!

Wife: Some people say that young people will lose their minds in the charming moonlight. Do you think this is correct? Husband: There may be some truth, remember? I proposed to you in the moonlight.

On the way to the priest's car, the priest put his hand on the nun's snow-white thigh. The nun smiled and said to the priest, do you remember what the first article of the Bible says? The priest blushed and took his hand away. When he got home, the priest hurriedly opened the bible and saw that it said, "Go deeper and you will get great happiness!" " "The priest shouted: God! Unfamiliar business kills people!

Conclusion: I hope everyone will study theory and business knowledge well, and then work hard to make money in combination with reality. I wish you health and happiness!

When the son asked his father what it meant to burn our bodies, Lao Lang gently told him that it meant something that someone wanted. On one occasion, there was no chalk in Chinese class, and the young female teacher just wanted to get it herself. Lao Huang's son immediately stood up and said; "Teacher, I know you are * * * burning us, let me satisfy you ~"

After the prisoner escaped from prison, he entered the house and saw a young couple lying in bed. The prisoner kicked her husband out of bed, tied him to a chair, tied his wife to the bed and kissed her neck, then went to the bathroom. The husband said, "honey, this is a prisoner." He may be locked up for a long time. Don't resist, just let him be satisfied. " This man is very dangerous. If he is angry, he may kill us. Wife: "I'm glad you think so. Yes, he hasn't touched a woman for a long time, but he didn't kiss my neck just now. He whispered in my ear that he thought you were sexy and asked me if there was any lubricant in the bathroom. " Be strong, dear, I love you! "

Swimmer: The lifebuoy produced by your factory made me learn to swim quickly. Director: I'm flattered. Swimmer: The lifebuoy deflated at the sight of water, so I had to swim as hard as I could, and finally I learned to swim.

A Dai broke up with his girlfriend. Ask your girlfriend: Do you think our relationship can be saved? Girlfriend replied: it's a key on the phone! A Dai: Is it redial? Girlfriend: No, it's enlarged.

A couple are watching the dance in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: this world is really strange. Every ugly fool has a beautiful wife. The wife smiled and said, honey, you really know how to kiss up.

Classic

A handsome young man walked into an old lady's room. He apologized and said, I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room. The old lady replied, not necessarily, but forty years late.

The female secretary got into the car of the county magistrate, and the county magistrate couldn't help but stretch out his hand to touch the white thigh of the female secretary. The female secretary asked the county magistrate: Do you remember what Deng Xuan wrote on the first page? The county magistrate blushed and quickly stopped. When I got home, the county magistrate couldn't wait to open the first page of Deng Xuan, only to see that it said: Be bold, be quick ... The county magistrate clapped his legs and shouted: Mom, how many opportunities will you lose without strong theoretical knowledge?

A driver was pushing a car in the street, and the traffic police asked: Is the car broken or out of gas? Driver: No, I forgot my driver's license today.

Wife: Am I pretty? Husband blurted out: very beautiful. After ten minutes, my wife asked, are you afraid of hurting me when you say I am beautiful? Husband smiled and shook his head: no, I'm afraid you'll hurt me.

A Dai said happily to Agua: I like the lady in the shoe and sock cabinet in the department store, and I decided to buy a pair of socks every day to cultivate feelings with her. Agua bitter face: you are so lucky! I fell in love with the lady in the gem cabinet.

Strange men and women were arranged to live together by the travel agency, and there was nothing to say that night. In the early morning, the female silk scarf was blown to the tree, and the man tried to climb the tree and take it off. Unexpectedly, the woman cursed: you can climb such a high tree, but you can't get up with such a low bed!

A Dai has a shotgun. Whenever his wife Jane loses her temper, she throws it aside and Jane shuts up at once. The neighbor couldn't help asking Ahua: Does he really dare to kill you? Jane: No, I'm afraid he will kill himself!

A Dai: Long time no see. What have you been up to recently? Agua: I started writing full-time last year. A Dai: Not bad. How much have you sold so far? Agua: I sold my car and house!

9 The young couple quarreled and threw pillows from upstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. After a while, the quilt also fell, and the beggar was ecstatic and shouted to the upstairs: Brother, do the good thing to the end and throw that woman down!

10 male: My wife is missing. Please help me find it! Policeman: What are her characteristics? Man: Not tall or fat, a little bald, with a big nose. Policeman: Then why are you looking for her?

1 1. A Shuang died, and his family held a funeral, crying his name ... Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ... Passers-by were puzzled and asked: What are you doing? The cool family suddenly burst into tears: it's so cool!

12, the year of You Ji high school, a buddy in the class quarreled with a girl ... this is the background ... clamoring for the girl to shout: I am your mother! The buddy paused and immediately said, Mom, I want to drink milk! Oh, the whole class is boiling and applauding!

13 one of my girlfriends went to stay up late and bought two bottles of coke to drink on her way home. Idiot probably got mixed up on the internet. He shook the coke vigorously, unscrewed the lid and wrapped it in his mouth. Seeing his mouth bulging, the idiot wouldn't let go, and then, and then I watched his nostrils start foaming …

works of excellence

1 It was not my intention to send a message. I intend to send my blessing. I hope you don't mind without your consent. Without any intention, I just hope you can get what you want. Accept my kindness and it's up to you whether to reply or not!

There are two requirements for a woman to get married: to be handsome, to have a car, and to search her results by computer: chess. A man put forward two conditions for marriage: a beautiful one can cook, and a computer search for her results: a beautiful rice cooker.

Woman: "I want to formally warn you that my husband will be back in an hour." Man: "But I didn't do anything rude." Woman: "I know, you have to do something, there is only less than an hour left."

A man ran anxiously to the public toilet. There was a long queue in front of the toilet, and he had to stand last. Finally, when there was only one person left in front, he couldn't hold on, so he said to the person in front, I can't hold on. Can you let me go first? The person in front clenched his fist and squeezed a word through his teeth. "Mama of, at least you can talk!

The father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend, young man, you only take my daughter to the movies and sit in the coffee shop every day. Can't you do something else? The young man said in surprise, you mean you can do other things!

In the middle of the night, Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed with his head distributed. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and grinned grimly, saying, It's so soft and confident!

I dreamed of God yesterday, and he said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said that world peace was too difficult. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to look good. He thought for a moment and said, bring me the globe. I'm looking at it.

The little babysitter in the country has a loud voice, and the host reminded her that all the people who came here tonight are people of status, and whispered. After dinner, the guests play cards and the nanny wants to go to bed early. She whispered into the man's ear, "I'm going to sleep first."

Mother and daughter wash dishes together, and father and son watch TV in the living room. Suddenly there was a sound of breaking dishes, and then there was silence. Son: It must be mom! Dad asked, why? Son: Because she didn't swear.

10 even a sister, with a lovely mother and a naughty father. One day it rained and suddenly thundered, which scared my mother who had been afraid of thunder and lightning to scream. Dad hurried forward to comfort: "Wife, don't be afraid, I will protect you." I was so envious that I said to my father, "Dad, I need protection, too." Dad didn't look back and said, "It's enough for me to protect my wife. I don't care about other people's wives. "

1 1 My boyfriend asked me, "Which bag do you like?" I thought, "Red." Boyfriend smiled: "Fool, that's not a famous brand. Don't be afraid, just pick what you like. It doesn't matter how expensive it is. " My heart warmed up and I pointed to Lu, who was carried by a passing woman: "Just her." My boyfriend gave me a kiss, then started the motorcycle and rushed to the woman.

12 When eating, the mother told her daughter, "Baby, you should eat more vegetables of all colors. The book says,' The more kinds of colors, the more complete nutrition'. " Then she pointed to the food on the table and asked, "How many colors do you see?" The daughter replied without thinking: "six kinds, counting the burnt one, is seven kinds!" " "

13 I went back to the dormitory last night and saw a buddy eating instant noodles in a hurry. While eating, I looked at my watch and said, "MD, it's about to expire ..." I: .....