Seek classic funny sentences

1. I will have a son named "Hao Shuai" in the future, and others will say "Hao Shuai's father" when they see me.

2. Work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back and take an empty step.

The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their wages.

4. Money is not a problem, but no money!

5. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!

6. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

7. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

8. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then you should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

9. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible.

10. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

1 1. Friends around you, become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

12. A female classmate is darker and her boyfriend is whiter. One day, the poisonous queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this. You'll have zebras."

13. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

14. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

15. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

16. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it. From then on, the world was dark.

17. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit.

18. To be a man, you must be a person who wanders between A Niu and Niu C.

19. My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...

20. If you don't peel the bark, you will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2 1. The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: everyone loved me when I was a child, and now I am a bitch.

23. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

24. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

26. As long as you work hard, you shit seriously.

27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

28. You can go as far as you want.

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

30. Lovers form families.

3 1. Spring comes, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while. ..

32. Lie down where you fell.

33. If the tiger doesn't show off, you can treat me as HELLO KITTY!

34. Donkeys can look backwards ~

35. The highest state of self-help: help the wall in, help the wall out.

Get lost ...

37. I'm not nice to you without money and power. Can you follow me?

38. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

39. Go to Google and Baidu.

40. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

42. Grandfather comes from grandson. ...

43. God, did you let summer and winter live together? ! This kind of weather!

44. When the bird is big, there are all kinds of Woods!

45. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

46. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

47. Suit yourself!

48. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

49. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.

50. Do you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes.

5 1. Angels can fly because they despise themselves. ...

52. I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

54. Go as far as you want!

55. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!

56. Boss, is money really that important to you? You talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind?

When I woke up, it was already dark.

58. If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself as a boss.

59. I try to lose weight every day except when I eat, and you say I have no perseverance?

60. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

6 1. Buying a computer without broadband is like having wine and meat, and becoming a monk before eating.

62. There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever.

63. Life is easy; Living is easy; Life is not easy.

64. I won't tell if I kill you.

65. Nothing money can solve is a problem.

66. After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better!

67. Even believe in advertisements. Are you stupid in your studies?

68. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

69. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art.

70. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

7 1. God, my clothes have lost weight again!

72. My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it".

73. I am different from you because I am human.

74. How much sorrow can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

75. I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

God gave us youth and acne.

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

Mom's suggestion: Daughter, you have to eat a little properly to lose weight!

80 spring is the high incidence of colds and feelings. Some people accidentally caught a cold, and some people accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

8 1 I'm an infatuated seed, too. It rained and drowned.

Money is not everything, and sometimes you need a credit card.

I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

I hope one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "CTRL+C" and keep "CTRL+V".

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, even if I don't smash you, I will live in vain.

Please raise your hand if you love me, and stand on your head if you don't love me.

87 people are afraid of famous pigs and strong, men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

If being rich is a mistake, I'd rather repeat it.

If marriage is the grave of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

Don't hang yourself from a tree, you can try it several times in the surrounding trees.

9 1 Don't set the bank card password as your girlfriend's birthday, or you will always change it.

The happiest thing: sleep until you wake up naturally. Count the money and count the cramps in your hands. The saddest thing: sleep until your hand cramps, and count the money until you wake up naturally.

Money can buy a house, but not a home; Marriage, but not love; Clock, but can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

Boys are poor, or don't know how to struggle, girls are rich, or they are coaxed away by a piece of cake.

Scholars play dead for their confidants, while women have plastic surgery for those who please themselves.

Fate is responsible for shuffling cards, but it is ourselves who play cards!

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. When we are old, the mirror is flat.

Love is a kind of helplessness, being loved is a gesture, waiting for love is an expectation, and not loving is an ability.

The beauty of a woman lies in her unrepentant stupidity, and the beauty of a man lies in her lying.

100 when will there be a bright moon? Ask your roommate about the wine. I wonder if the handsome guy next door has a girlfriend?

10 1 Good martial arts, afraid of kitchen knives.