I would like to ask for some jokes that can make my wife happy, but they must not be cold jokes. Thank you all!!

1 Poor Monkey

One day Nini went to the zoo to feed the monkeys...throwing peanuts to the monkeys...but there was a monkey who would stuff peanuts into his butt first every time...and then Take it out and eat it again... Nini felt disgusted and ran to ask the administrator... Why did that monkey behave in such a strange way... The administrator explained: Because someone threw a big peach for him to eat last year.. The result The big peach can't be excreted smoothly from the butt... He suffered a terrible injury... So now he must put the food into the butt and measure it to make sure it can be pulled out before eating...

2. The main course was served - roasted lamb leg, a large plate of meat bones, and a plate of salt and pepper. A fellow from Beijing loved this dish very much.

He grabbed a leg of lamb without any ceremony, took a bite, and started eating it. When the lady saw it, she said:

"Sir, this should be eaten with dipping."

The buddy looked at the lady doubtfully, and then at his local colleagues. A local colleague said: "It tastes better when dipped in it."

The buddy then stood up with the leg of lamb and took another bite.

The lady hurried over and asked: "Sir, do you need anything?"

"Ah? No."

"Then please sit down and eat. "

The buddy muttered and sat down, looking at everyone in a daze. Carefully, he brought the leg of lamb to his mouth and carefully took a bite.

The lady said again: "Sir, you have to eat this with dipping."

The man stood up suddenly, waved the leg of lamb and shouted angrily: "Stand up again." How to eat when you have to sit down to eat!"

3. Oatmeal

When I woke up in the morning, my brother saw a bottle with "oatmeal" in it! So I ate him for breakfast. At this time, my brother came back from his morning exercise. After washing and grooming, he sat at the table and had his pedicure done. Suddenly he asked his brother, have you seen the bottle I put on the table? There is the skin of my feet... …

4. Eat something hot

During the Chinese New Year, the two poor beggars didn’t have anything to eat all day long. In the middle of the night, they were cold and hungry. The older one said: "Brother, this won't work. I'm sure I won't make it. Let's go out and find something to eat." The two of them came to the door of a restaurant, and a group of people came out drunk. One of them vomited in the street. The two beggars rushed over to eat. Just after eating, the younger one said to the other person: "Brother, you just ate a fly." The older one spat out what he had just eaten with a "swish" sound. Just as he was vomiting, The younger one quickly opened his mouth and drank the whole thing without wasting it. The older man asked: "What are you doing?" The man replied: "Brother, my stomach is not good, I have to eat something hot.

5 counts you lucky

Once I suddenly felt a stomachache while shopping, so I walked into the 199 all-you-can-eat hotpot restaurant on the corner. I wanted to borrow a toilet, but I searched all over the first floor but couldn't find it, so I ran to the second floor. The second floor is It was still being renovated and there was nothing in it, but I found a toilet door with a sign saying "It's out of order, please don't use it." I couldn't help it anymore. I didn't care, there was no one around anyway. I took off my pants and squatted down towards the toilet, bang bang... it felt so good!

After it was over, I walked downstairs but found that there was no one there. It was strange that it was dinner time. The guests > The whole house said, "Why is the building so empty all of a sudden? Even the waiters and receptionists are gone...

So I approached the bar and asked: "Is anyone there? There's no one there. Are you here?"

At this time, a male waiter came out from under the bar,

and said: "************... I just had a bowel movement from You were not there when the ceiling fell and hit the fan?

You were lucky.