Looking for a joke to cheer up

Uncle Benshan met Uncle Fan on the road:

Hello, Xiao Fan.

Hey, hello, Brother Benshan!

Recently How's it going? My hands and feet are fine.

Everything is fine.

Why haven’t you seen your wife?

This... I'm not married yet.

How old are you? Why don’t you even have a wife? You're not gay, are you?

No, no, no, why am I gay!

You are not gay, why don’t you marry a wife? !

I really am not! Isn't this a lack of money? Nowadays women are all about money. What kind of wife can you marry if you don’t have money?

Tch~ How can he have a wife when he has no money? You kid, stop pretending.

I really am not! Don’t you have a house and a car? People look down upon it.

You are still messing with me, then Wang Ergou doesn’t have a house or a car, his children are all in school. You say you are not yet?

I really am not! Aren’t I ugly? Girls don’t like me!

Bah! Do I look good? The girls all love me. I think you are gay.

I...I can't tell you...I'm leaving

No! There is an old girl in our village who asked me to introduce her to you. What do you think?

Ah, this...um...that...well, I'm gay.

Oh. It's true. .

The couple were watching TV at home. The TV news broadcast said: "Now 70% of men want to have extramarital affairs." After hearing this, the husband hurriedly said: "Then I must be the 30% of men. If you lie to people, I am a bastard!" Then, the news continued to report: "The other 30% of men have already had extramarital affairs."

The aunt asked the uncle: "Which county is Qianlie County? Is it far away?" The uncle thought for a while, "I don't know, why do you ask this? "The aunt whispered: "Don't tell others, I just heard the doctor tell the people in front of me that Qianlie County is selling salt, and I want to get some.

When he went to the WC, he couldn't open the toilet lid, so he just He pooped on the toilet lid. After he went to use it, he suddenly found a button on the wall and pressed it. Unexpectedly, the lid suddenly popped open and the poop bounced on the ceiling. He was so embarrassed that he called the waiter and pointed to the ceiling and said: "I'll give it to you." You pay 200 yuan and you help me clean this up." The waiter looked at the ceiling and said to him: "I will give you 800 yuan and you can tell me how you pooped on the ceiling?"

A man likes to wear his clothes backwards when riding a motorcycle, with the slits closed at the back to block the wind. One day, he was driving drunk and overturned. The police arrived: Policeman A: It was a serious car accident. Policeman B: Yes, his head was hit behind. Policeman A: Well, he is still breathing. Let’s help him turn his head back. Policeman B: Okay... 1, 2, hard, 1, 2, turn it back. Policeman A: Huh? No breathing.