Can you tell me a joke?

1. The reason why I can’t find a boyfriend may be because God put the other half in my body... so that I can take care of myself when I am sick. I can run home when it rains heavily and there is no one to give me an umbrella. I know how to repair it. A computer can turn on light bulbs... It's a god-like androgyny... 2. It's the same B. Going north is NB, going south is SB. The most important thing in life is direction. 3. I wish I was also a black belt in Taekwondo, so that if I see a thief on the bus, I can act bravely, if I am bullied by a naughty man, I can beat him to paralysis, and if I have a bad argument with my boyfriend, I can beat him up. It's a pity that I can only broadcast the eighth set of gymnastics. . . 4. The teacher said: "Don't think I don't know that you are texting in class. Who would giggle at their crotch?" 5. Since all the otaku girls have changed their name to "Madame Curie", then I don't want to call her "Madame Curie" either. I’m an otaku—please call me “Picasso”! ! ! 6. One day, I heard a friend quarreling with his girlfriend. His girlfriend said: "Get out of here!" Friend: "Okay, get out of here. Don't ask me to come back!" His girlfriend: "I didn't tell you to get out of here!" Go back! Go back..." 7. A Taotie netizen attended a class reunion, and everyone in the box greeted each other: "You are still as handsome as before." Suddenly everyone was talking. Looked at me and said: "You are still as fat as before." Emma woke up with a fright. Fortunately, it was a nightmare... 8. Change the button's signature to "I love your wife". At this time, many people Everyone asked me if I was in love, but most people still insisted that my account was hacked. In fact, the truth was that I typed the space in the wrong position. When I changed my signature back to: "I love your wife," everyone said, that's it, that's right. 9. Gongsun Zhi grabbed Xiao Longnu who was about to leave with Yang Guo and asked: "We can't be husband and wife in this life, but before you leave, I have one last question." "I loved you!" Xiao Longnu answered without thinking. Gongsun Zhi took the Heartless Pill and died with a smile on his face. Xiao Longnu hammered Yang Guo's shoulder and said angrily: "Why did you choose such a name..." 10. People often say that "a woman's golden age is very short, only 22-26 years old, but it is different for men. It reaches 30 or 40 years old." Still not in a hurry." In fact, the golden age of men is shorter, only 16-18 years old. During this period, if they are handsome, some people will like them, if they are good at playing, some people will like them, if they study well, some people will like them, and if they play musical instruments, some people will like them. But when they are 30 years old, In the future, as long as he has no money, few people will like him! 11. One day, while my brother-in-law was sleeping soundly, his sister came up and slapped him. He woke up. My sister was super calm and touched her brother-in-law’s head with love and pity: Baby, what’s wrong? Are you having a nightmare? It's okay, just go back to sleep! Brother-in-law, it was a false alarm. Take a deep breath and go back to sleep! 12. Little zombie: "Dad, they laughed at me for being a wild child without a mother. Tell me the truth, is my mother dead?" Zombie father: "Good boy, your mother is not dead." Little zombie: "Then why should I Have you never seen your mother?” Zombie dad: “It’s because your mother is not dead.” (This joke needs to be understood carefully~) 13. A previous netizen from Taotieke said that my wife asked me to take her shopping yesterday, and I said it was too much. After sleeping for a while, my wife acted coquettishly... Finally, I agreed to sleep from one o'clock to two o'clock. When I was woken up by my wife, I looked at the clock on the wall and it was half past two. I thought that my wife is so good. I slept for such a long time. After I went downstairs and got in the car, I looked at the time on the navigation screen. It showed one o'clock and ten minutes... 14. I was defrauded of hundreds of dollars by a scammer a few days ago (I won't go into the details). , so embarrassing), which made me deeply understand the truth - pie will not fall from the sky, even if it does, it will never fall on my head... 15. A foreigner puts his own I strapped my iPhone 4 to my cat and turned on the camera. The camera captured the cat’s activities throughout the day from the cat’s perspective. A Chinese man saw that the video he shot was very interesting, so he tied his iPhone 4 to his cat... As a result, the iPhone 4 was gone, and so was the cat. 16. Fifty-six languages, combined into one sentence... I can't hang up, I can't hang up, I can't hang up... (Second paragraph) Fifty-six languages, combined into one sentence... ·Let me live, let me live, let me live... 17. I had dinner with my friends and strolled to the night market, when a patrol car from the police station passed by. Police lights flashed in the distance. When the vendors saw it, they packed up their things and were about to run away.

At this time, the uncle, a policeman who is close to the people, shouted with a loudspeaker in the car: Don't run, it's not the urban management... 18. The banana fan was picked by Taishang Laojun, but it was in the hands of Princess Iron Fan; the Bull Demon King doesn't know how to use Samadhi Zhenhuo at all. , but the red boy is born with it, it’s really thought-provoking... 19. Colleagues who took a nap in the office at noon, please don’t leave your mobile phone lying around: a male colleague went out at noon and did not take his mobile phone with him. His wife kept calling. The female colleague who was taking a nap was annoyed by the noise. She took her mobile phone and yelled: "We are sleeping, are you annoyed?" 20. On the way to get off work, there are thousands of miles of traffic and thousands of people. Looking at the street inside and outside, the traffic is like a turtle, the driver is irritable, does not move a step, and always urinates when the light is red. The traffic is so busy that many wealthy people are attracted to take the bus. Unfortunately, the Audi A6 is as slow as a snail. Mercedes-Benz and BMW, nowhere to go crazy. The genius of the generation, Lamborghini, cried when eDonkey overtook the car. It’s all gone, counting the bicycles, laughing while pedaling

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