20 17 long humorous jokes

Humorous jokes can relax yourself after work and study and make you laugh easily. What are the long humorous jokes in 20 17? Below, I have compiled some information about 20 17 long humorous jokes for you. Come and have a look with me.

20 17 long humorous jokes

1, Colleague: Is the young man still working overtime?

I am! I'm not familiar with this business. If you work overtime, you are familiar with the business.

Colleague: Well, not bad. Positive, promising. You remind me of a colleague who used to work overtime every day like you. Finally. . .

Me: Did you finally get a raise or a promotion?

Colleague: No, finally his wife ran away with someone else, haha. . .

2. A single woman moved and suddenly the power went out at night. She remembered that there were no candles at home. . .

At this moment, someone knocked at the door. It was the child next door.

He asked nervously, Aunt, do you have any candles at home?

The woman thought, oh, my god, borrowing things when I first came here will be endless in the future.

So, she said coldly? No? !

The child smiled with a hint of pride: I knew you didn't! Mom is afraid that you are afraid, let me send you candles?

Hearing this, the woman was moved and ashamed, and then lit this candle mixed with fragrance. After fainting, she was bought as a daughter-in-law in the mountains. The single woman sighed the next day, alas, finally got married.

3. There is a WeChat merchant who sells the unheard-of mask on the fan number. Seeing that the effect is particularly severe, I asked: Can allergies work?

She said:? Just post it. ?

I asked:? What about acne?

She said:? Just post it. ?

? What about skin wrinkles?

? Can be greatly alleviated. ?

? What about catching a cold?

? It can also be alleviated. ?

I finally asked:? What about calcium deficiency?

She thought for a moment and said? I tell you, we all believe in business miracles. ?

4. Did someone scold the lady in public? Bitch? And was taken to court by the lady. ? You are so rude.

The judge told people that you must publicly apologize to the lady in court, or you will be locked up. ?

? I can apologize, but can I ask the judge?

Some people say, I can't say this lady is a bitch, but if I meet a real bitch another day, can I call it a lady?

The judge thought for a moment and smiled. It's your business if you want to lose your mind. Of course you can. ?

Someone immediately bowed to the lady. I'm sorry! Lady.

During World War II, a Jewish family was persecuted, and the eldest son and the youngest son went to seek help separately. The eldest son went to find someone who had helped himself, and the younger son went to find someone who had helped himself. As a result, the eldest son was rescued and the younger son was betrayed.

It's my girlfriend's turn to cook tonight. My girlfriend brought a tray and said, please turn over the brand if you want to eat. I saw four signs on the tray, which read: stewed chicken with mushrooms, sparerib with scallion, tomato beef brisket and braised beef. Can I say both? Girlfriend said: I'm afraid you can't eat it. If I say I can't eat, you won't give me pocket money! After a while, my girlfriend served four bowls of Master Kong instant noodles.

7. q:? Why do you still like her so much because she is average-looking and has a bad temper? A:? Then why do you think I wrote the Tao Te Ching? Q:? Why? A:? Because I want to. ?

8. After getting on the bus, a sister said to the driver's master while looking for something, master, happy next stop, and the driver's master immediately transferred the music to the next stop. My sister burst into tears.

9. What is the Spring Festival? One word: tired. Two words: consumption. Three words: big party. Four words: eat the sea and sleep in the sea. Five words: SMS is flying all over the sky. Two words: Happy New Year to all of you. Seven words: firecrackers are deafening. Eight words: visiting relatives and traveling is pure hardship. Nine words: drunk, drunk, hurt the body and hurt the stomach. Ten words: return to your original post after a seven-day long vacation. Eleven words: Spring Festival is a national sports meeting. I wish you happiness.

10. My mother told her children the story of Kuafu chasing the sun. After the story was finished, the child said thoughtfully, I finally know why the teacher said that water resources are getting less and less, and it turned out that Kuafu drank them all.

20 17 latest humorous jokes

1, the most failed client: Tongzhi Emperor.

The level of mutual knowledge is the highest among clients, but whoring is the least successful. The young emperor had a serious disagreement with his mother, Cixi, on the issue of marrying a wife, and they were tit for tat. As a result of the struggle, he got a woman he liked, but at the same time he had to match a woman he didn't like. So the little emperor began a miserable husband and wife life: sharing a bed with a woman he liked, and Cixi was not allowed; He doesn't want to sleep with a woman he doesn't like. The political struggle between queens extended to bed. Finally, the emperor with five wives fell into extreme sexual depression and had to travel incognito and go out for prostitution. I am spoiled and have no experience in whoring. I contracted syphilis as soon as I entered the big alley, and the treatment was ineffective. /kloc-died at 0/9. After his death, people talked about his death. The hapless prostitute made herself a long-standing controversial figure in the history circle. The emperor has a prostitute lover, and he is by no means alone in Tongzhi. Many emperors have been whoring all their lives, and they are all unknown and discredited. However, the Tongzhi emperor became the focus of attention after several times without whoring, and his bad reputation of being killed for whoring was cut into history.

2. The most successful hacker: Liu Yong.

This great poet of the Northern Song Dynasty, with a ci name, was handed down to later generations, but he became famous at that time because of whoring. In the first year of Jing You, he became a scholar and became an official in the imperial court. Although his political achievements are mediocre, he spends every day among prostitutes, and today is definitely the target of public security crackdown. Liu Yong's whoring is very different from other prostitutes. Other prostitutes just vent their desires, and few people regard prostitutes as human beings. But Liu Yong treats prostitutes as friends, confides in each other, and goes to bed equally and freely. Plus, he writes a good hand and writes a song for any prostitute, and that prostitute will be worth twice as much, which is quite like the current cultural packaging and long joke stories. So prostitutes love Liu Yong like a tide. Liu Yong is the first seven old, known as Liu Qi, and it has become a star's wish that prostitutes write lyrics and play in bed with Liu Qilang. ? I don't want to be called by the king, I want to be called by Liu Qi. I don't want thousands of gold, I want to get Liu Qixin; I don't want to see the immortals, but I want to know the seven sides of the willow tree? It became a true portrayal of prostitute fashion at that time. Inspired by prostitutes, Liu Yong wrote many eternal songs. But at the same time, his brothel life also made the rulers hate him and think he is immoral. Finally, he was frustrated politically and died of poverty. He was miserable after his death. It turned out that several prostitutes pooled their money to bury him. After the news of his death came out, thousands of prostitutes poured into his cemetery to mourn, causing a sensation. There is a saying in China? Bitch heartless? But in these prostitutes, people can only see their deep feelings for Liu Yong. For the sake of being a prostitute, Liu Qiyi is probably the only one in the world.

3. The luckiest John: Zhou Bangyan.

Musicians in the Northern Song Dynasty and then Emperor Song Huizong fell in love with the same prostitute-Li Shishi. At that time, the famous historical prostitute was Song Huizong's semi-public lover, who dared to take the girl of the emperor? As you can imagine, what Song Huizong can't stand is that Zhou Bangyan has become a music producer in Li Shishi. Li Shishi not only appreciated his music, but also fell in love with him. Song Huizong was so jealous that Zhou Bangyan was on the verge of disaster. In desperation, Li Shishi gave his life to save his lover, begged Song Huizong, and then recommended Zhou Bangyan to Song Huizong, saying how wonderful his music was. Miracle appeared: Song Huizong, who also loved calligraphy and painting, forgave Zhou Bangyan, and instead of bothering him, gave him an official position, making him a great musician.

4. The most rewarding customer: Han Shizhong.

When the famous patriotic generals in the Southern Song Dynasty were junior officers, one day they couldn't resist the impulse of youth and went whoring with a prostitute. The woman sitting on the stage is Liang Hongyu. Liang Hongyu saw at a glance that he was an extraordinary man and was willing to marry him. In the wartime of Xu Jin's invasion, marrying a young officer meant marrying danger, while Han Shizhong was still poor. But Liang Hongyu paid no attention and followed him wholeheartedly. With the promotion of Han Shizhong's status, Liang Hongyu gradually revealed her true qualities as a heroine among women. She helped her husband train soldiers and manage the military camp, and she did a very good job and became his rare assistant. In the famous Huang Tiandang War, the husband and wife staged a magnificent scene in history: the wife beat drums to help the war, the husband fought bloody battles, defeated the Jin Army, and almost captured the commander-in-chief of the Jin Army alive. Nomads from the defeat, husband and wife became famous all over the world, Liang Hongyu was named by the court? Yang Guofu? Long joke stories and classic jokes.

5. Best Actor: Cai E.

This hero is more modern.

He doesn't have this hobby, and whoring is forced out. In the early years of the Republic of China, Yuan Shikai betrayed the plot of * * * and proclaimed himself emperor, but he was not at ease with Cai E, the revolutionary general of Yunnan Army, and was recruited to the General's Office in Beijing for surveillance. Cai E was eager to go back to Yunnan to recruit for Yuan, but Yuan Shikai stared at him too closely and had to play tricks, so a prostitute named Fengxian Xiao became his bunker. He took Fengxian Xiao around every day, contented with pleasure and not asking about politics, which made Yuan Shikai relax his vigilance against Cai E. With the cooperation of Fengxian Xiao, Cai E took the opportunity to drink in the brothel and slipped away. Since then, the dragon has returned to the sea and Yunnan, raising the banner of resisting Yuan's righteousness. Under his leadership, rebels rose everywhere and provinces became independent. Yuan Shikai died after only 83 days as emperor.

A long humorous joke.

1. One day, Xiao Ming saw his father talking on the phone while walking, so he asked his mother curiously: Why does dad walk around on the phone? Mom explained to Xiaoming:? That's because dad uses a mobile phone. ?

2. "A little girl's teacher assigned her homework, which is a composition about spring. The little girl wrote:? When spring comes, the kitten calls me and asks Dad, Dad, Dad, why don't I call? Dad said: it's not that I don't scream, it's that time is not up. I asked dad, dad, dad, why didn't mom scream? Dad said, it's not that you didn't scream, it's that you didn't hear. I asked my father, Dad, Dad, why didn't the nanny call? Dad said: it's not that she doesn't scream, it's that she doesn't dare to scream! In swimming class, I teach children how to float and make them imagine lying in bed, "relax and close your eyes." "A little girl turned a circle on the water and I asked her what was wrong. She sighed and said, "I feel uncomfortable lying down." . 」"

An eloquent salesman sells children's encyclopedias to children's mothers? /p & gt；

He said that this book can answer any questions raised by children.

The child happened to be near, said the salesman. Let's demonstrate how I found the answer you want from the book. ?

The child then asked him:? What brand of car is God in? Salesman:? ......。 ?

4. mom:? Jack, go kiss the new teacher! ?

Son:? I dare not. Dad kissed her just now and she slapped her in the face! ?

5. Baby (5 years old): I love you Beibei!

Beibei (4 years old): Little brother, what is I love you?

Baby: I love you? You don't know this either? Didn't your uncle and aunt say I love you when they were together on TV? Is to play with you! How stupid!

Beibei: Oh! I love you just to play with you! Little brother, I love you too! Then can you give me the chocolate that your mother bought you yesterday?

Baby: That won't do. My mother bought it for me!

Beibei: Hum ~ Then I don't love you!

(Background: Two children are sitting on a spittoon)

On the train, Mao Mao always sticks his head out of the window. Father said:? Quiet, Mao Mao, don't stick your head out of the window! But Mao Mao wouldn't listen.

Father suddenly took off Mao Mao's hat, hid behind him and said? Look, your hat is blown away by the wind! ? Mao Mao began to cry, trying to find the flying cap.

Father said:? Well, don't cry, don't cry, you whistle, and the hat may fly back. ?

So, when Mao Mao stared at the window and whistled, his father immediately put his hat back on the Mao Mao Tou.

Mao Mao smiled happily. How interesting! ? Then he took off his father's hat and threw it out of the window. He said happily, It's your turn to whistle, Dad! ?

7. father:? Son, did the composition I wrote for you win the first prize?

Son:? No, the teacher said it was too beside the point. ?

Father:? No way! Isn't the title of the composition "My Father"?

Son:? Yes, but you wrote about my grandfather. ?