Network classic funny quotations

Lead: Positive words can inspire people, but funny words can warm people's hearts. The following are network classic funny quotations, welcome to read:

1), as long as we don't violate the first bottom line ... we can do whatever it takes.

Time is the best teacher, but it kills all the students.

3) Brother, are you tired of pretending? Have a cigarette!

4), the old daughter-in-law is hugging, I'm going to start shaking WeChat.

5), since I got mental illness, the whole person is much more energetic.

6), Ming Sao is easy to hide, and it is hard to prevent.

7) Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell the residue of Ren.

8) I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.

9) Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.

10), the little girl wants to find a white horse in her dream. When she opened her eyes, she found that the world was full of gray donkeys. After she was heartbroken, she could only choose a strong one from the herd of donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable person.

1 1), I'm a passerby you forgot as soon as you turned around. Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?

12), without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark …

13), what is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.

14), when I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

15), as a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

16), the dangerous building 100 feet high, you will die if you jump.

17), looking for her in my dream, suddenly looking back, the man is undressing in bed.

18), once the sea was difficult for water, except Wushan was a pit.

19), as your good friend, I have to tell you that I am not afraid of being used, but I am afraid that you are useless.

20) Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.

2 1), you were born great, but you were wronged to live.

22) I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

23) When there is a bright moon, look up by yourself.

24), heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

25), the road sees rough roar, and move on.

26), no windtight wall, no would beam.

27), Confucius said: don't sleep at noon, collapse in the afternoon! Mencius said: Confucius said,' Yes!

28), hold your hand and drag the child away! If you don't go, you will continue to drag on!

29), parents fool their children to call education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

30), thank you, thank you, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations!

3 1), I am too pure, and pure is a bit shameless!

32), he doesn't respect you, you have to respect him, he still doesn't respect you, you still have to respect him, he always doesn't respect you, you killed him.

33) Is your mother's amniotic fluid sulfuric acid?

That year, the warehouse was empty and the well was empty. At first glance. Tick-tock Palace goddess of frequent urination. After the eunuch. Pitiao Hutong. The girl's English name is John. Studying in Dongguan. A man with anal fissure. Durex in billiards. I took off my cotton trousers and Miss Chun came. What should I do if I am pregnant unexpectedly? Go to Tiecuzi Hospital. Looking back 500 times in the past life, I got the painless abortion in this life. Meet like Sanqiu. Teacher, just follow the old woman.

I don't even believe in punctuation.

36) Don't come to me for nothing, and don't come to me for everything.

37) What do you like about me? I like you. Stay away from me!

38), we are old if we are not crazy, and we are crazy if you are not old!

Don't swear to me, I'm afraid you'll be struck by lightning!

I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

4 1), he scolds me, I take a step back, he scolds me again, I take a step back, there is a wall behind me, and he still scolds me, beating ya! !

42) We got lost halfway, and he took out a bunch of instruments and pointed them at the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest ... I said you were all behind, so we had to take advanced measures and throw shoes.

Kindness means that I don't eat meat when others are hungry.

You keep your word-I said I wouldn't pay back the money.

Brother, I have no problem with you. Why are you pretending to be forced in front of me?

46), you pretend to be forced today, and then your family will be silent.

47), pretending to be a career, can not give up easily.

48) When you miss pretending, you also miss life.

49) I've been practicing for 10,000 years, but my ability to pretend is less than 1% of yours.

50), forcibly installed, and the mixed society flourished; It's hard to live everywhere if you don't pretend well.

5 1), sit down and have a rest, it's been a day, don't you feel tired?

Brother, please think carefully about the consequences before pretending.

53), I grew up in pain, I moved forward in loneliness, just to get back at the past.

54), don't pretend, it will kill people.

55) If you pretend to be forced again, I will call the police.

56), now even the black society is looking for people who pretend to be forced every day.

57), don't pretend to be forced easily, it is a lifetime.

Brother, please tell me before you pretend.

59) I thought we agreed not to pretend. Why not live up to expectations?

60), think about your family and friends, you are so hard, have you considered their feelings?

6 1), I haven't seen you for years, and you've installed it perfectly.

62) I pretended to be forced for three years just to get a chance to be praised.

63) People are really tired when they are alive, so they are called people.

64), the fox is not clever, just too young.

65), Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and men talk a little.

66), I saw a penny on the side of the road and was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm, damn it ... who vomited so round?

67), the man was dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped, appearance problems; I got dumped. You're fucking crazy. I like this sentence best! )

68), my life is not determined by heaven, and heaven will destroy me.

69), reading is risky, and admission needs to be cautious.

70) Time is like a net, where you sow, you reap.

7 1), many girls got Han Hong's disease, but Han Hong didn't die.

72), no one can see that if you don't study for a day or a week, your speech will get thicker, and if you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs.

73), people want to face trees to skin, poles to cement.

74), I tried to think, but now I try to forget.

Even if I want to cry again, I will smile at you: Fuck you.

76), don't ask me questions, Baidu knows more than me.

77), men are liars, lucky women are cheated by a man all their lives, and unfortunate women are cheated by many men for a while.

78) I will solve the problems that Confucius can't solve.

79) Smiling at you is purely polite.

80), Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.

8 1), look ahead, don't miss some crooked melons and rotten dates, don't know what is the best.

82), don't say love easily, don't stubbornly open the door of ta, and then leave in a joke.

83), don't shout everywhere that the world has abandoned you, and the world doesn't belong to you.

84), Youth is crazy running, and then gorgeous falling.

85) Does it hurt? Pain is right. An idiot like you won't suffer. God is fucking blind.

I thought you were forced by the sand a long time ago, but I didn't expect you to let me down today.

87) When God closes a door for you, he must crucify the window for you.

88), you have to believe in cause and effect, help me first in this life and pay you back a hundred times in the next life.

I think when I left my hometown, the villagers never drank a well water again.

90), your complicated appearance and your IQ are simply the opposite.

9 1), just take the ass to look better than the face.

92), you have killed your whole life if you are alive, and you have killed hell if you are dead.

93), you wait, one day I will let you put on a wedding dress and then take off your clothes.

94), everyone has their own ideas, you can't force them. I won't stop you if you want to eat shit.

95), where chrysanthemums are in full bloom, there is your lovely hometown.

96) You sing very well, and the pelvic singing is really wonderful.

97), you are in such a good state, and you look really good. I will definitely attend your memorial service one day.

Life needs you to be strong. If you are not strong, turn these two words over.

99), those who are close to pigs are fat, and those who are close to urine are coquettish.

100), it's really nice of you to thank your parents for bringing such a big joke to China.

10 1), more than 20 years ago, on the day when you were born, there was a great drought, locusts were everywhere, and the sky was empty. Your mother used stretch, and you were born shit.

102), the day you were born, a fortune teller helped you see it. You are a born bastard.

103), you have a characteristic, that is, you shit while eating, which often makes people confused whether you are shitting or eating.

104), you shit on time every day, pull it at 8 am, and wake up after 8 am.

105), the family has prepared for the funeral, just waiting for you to die.

106), I watch Japanese love action movies with a critical spirit every night.

107), you are so special, do you take shit every time you eat?

108), you are very sad, but you must work hard, because there are more sad things waiting for you ahead.

109), son, you must look at life optimistically. It's okay to eat some shit, just get used to it.