Buddhist classic joke stories

Buddhist classic joke story 1: Niu Lao's music career

Although most researchers do not hesitate to classify Niu Lao as a writer, there are still many people who think that such a simple classification method will undoubtedly obliterate Niu Lao's amazing accomplishments and unparalleled outstanding contributions to music.

Compared with Niu Lao's literary experience, Niu Lao's musical career is much earlier, even dating back to his first day in this world. When the old cow announced her arrival with a warbler's crow, the tranquility of the delivery room was completely torn, and all the medical staff knelt down devoutly and foamed at the mouth. Later, during the months of hospitalization in Niu Lao, the discharge rate of patients set a historical record (although most of them were carried out).

Although many scholars have expressed great interest in Niu Lao's music life in kindergarten, it is still a mystery that no one knows. Because the music teacher in Niu Lao kindergarten was crazy, he didn't leave any written clues for the exam.

Generally speaking, it is recognized by the world that the beginning of Niu Lao's music career should be his primary school stage. Before meeting Niu Lao, the primary school music teacher in Niu Lao never thought that anyone could sing all the notes exactly the same. This directly led to his request to be transferred from his music teaching post to a message room, so that he could have enough energy to sort out and study Niu Lao's deeds. This has brought great help to people's later research work, and also won the respect of the world for this neurotic old man.

In a school chorus competition in grade three, Niu Lao sent the headmaster to the hospital because of his outstanding musical talent. This is also the direct reason why the Chinese teacher in Niu Lao intends to let Niu Lao study for another year without success.

When the music teacher in Niu Lao Middle School first heard Niu Lao's songs, she couldn't help but plan to study how such a beautiful voice was made. Her curious hand gently pressed on the old cow's vocal cord. The old cow read her meaning from her excited eyes: if you dare to pronounce one more sound, I will strangle you.

Thanks to the invention of karaoke, Niu Lao has a wider world to show his voice. When the first note came from the old cow's mouth, all the windows exploded with intoxication. Through the broken window frame, the old cow clearly saw the eager expression on the neighbor's face waving his stick.

At the same time as literature, Niu Lao's music reached its peak in college. There hasn't been a mouse in the canteen since the old cow entered the school. Therefore, Niu Lao became the first living specimen for the study of noise pollution since the establishment of the Physics Teaching and Research Section one hundred years ago.

The above is just a brief introduction to some fragments of Niu Lao's music career. People who are interested in it and want to know more can get more information from Niu Lao the Musician and other works, so I won't go into details here.

Buddhist classic joke story 2: Cheapskate blind date is all a joke

There is a Hou Jun in our factory. He is 30 years old and still single. He is still single, not because of his third-degree disability, nor because he is ugly, nor because he has a sexual organ disease. It can be said that he is not only well developed in various organs, but also handsome, burly and handsome. According to his roommate Shimou, he still draws a map on the sheets as usual every month. Of course not because he is poor. Our factory has a good benefit. His salary is more than one month 1000, and there is no other burden. The reason why he is still unmarried and doesn't even have a girlfriend who wants to date him is actually angry and funny, because when he was dating in his twenties, he left a few jokes about eloping with his girlfriend, so that no one dared to introduce him.

The first time, someone introduced him, and the matchmaker asked him to meet the girl and invited them to play and chat in the park. After the matchmaker left, Hou Jun and the girl went to the park by bus. As soon as they got on the bus, Hou Jun took out a monthly ticket and said to the girl, I have a monthly ticket, so you can only buy your own! As a result, the girl got off at the next stop without even saying hello.

When the matchmaker knew something and accused him of not talking like that, he also plausibly said, I'm right! If I don't tell her, she bought two tickets. What a waste!

On another occasion, Sister Ma, who was in the same workshop with him, introduced her cousin to him. They agreed to go shopping together. When they walked to the Oriental Plaza, the girl was a little anxious, so she took Hou Jun to a pay toilet and motioned for Hou Jun to pay. Hou Jun was very surprised and said, It costs a few cents to go to the toilet! Not worth it! It's convenient to go to the forest in front! I'll watch it for you. Angry and ashamed, the girl covered her face with her hand and ran away crying.

Since then, no one in the factory dared to introduce him, but in February, he himself went on the road with a girl who shined shoes from the countryside to the city. He said he would take the girl to Baihua Mountain on Saturday, but the girl actually agreed.

Early in the morning on Sunday, he happily held the hand of the country girl. At noon, the girl said she was hungry, and Hou Jun also said she was hungry. She opened the bag with her, took out a bun and chewed it herself! Thinking that Hou Jun was joking with him, the girl grabbed the bag and said, What delicious food have you prepared for me? When I opened the bag, I found a lot of old newspapers in it! The girl threw the old newspaper on the ground in disappointment and asked inexplicably: Hey! This is the old newspaper you prepared for me! Hou Jun said solemnly: This newspaper is not for you, but for me to relieve myself! Why are you so stingy? You didn't prepare delicious food and shit like me before you went up the mountain! The girl was dumbfounded. After a while, she left a sentence: No matter how poor our village is, I have never seen you so stingy! He ran down the hill. Leaving Hou Jun, he said to himself, What makes you say that I am a cheapskate! We haven't formally established a relationship. Why should I prepare food with you? You eat mine, use my things, and I won't be an idiot if you don't talk to me! Not bad! I'm not fooled! Thank god!

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