There is a kind of love, from the heart

20 18 Wednesday, August 29th will be fine.

True love can settle a wandering heart. True love can make a wanderer willingly live a plain life of three meals a day.

I like writing since I was a child, and I still like it today, so I have been reading and started writing. I like this life with words, and I am intoxicated by the life surrounded by books.

But one day, a friend who also loves Chinese characters asked me, whose handwriting do you like best? I was shocked and couldn't answer a word.

I searched my mind for the names of all the writers I remembered and carefully reviewed the books I had read. I can't even call it my favorite. I seem to like them all, but I don't seem to like them.

I suddenly feel panic, and my state can't be simply summarized by whether I can read or not. I am a numb-headed, aimless person. I don't know what kind of words I like, how can I understand what kind of articles I want to write?

Of all the books on the shelf, how many have I read carefully? Of all the categories, which one have I dedicated myself to?

I remember the scene of buying books before. When I see them, when I hear from others that they are good, when I only hear about the author of this book, I can buy them. Often bought with joy, but also with the praise of others. My heart is full of pride, as if I bought a book and brought back knowledge, thoughts and realm.

In fact, now that I think about it, this is just an illusion that seems difficult! I'm just intoxicated with the feeling of reading, not really reading.

I am often moved by the words I am reading, or I cry or laugh. But that's just enjoying browsing at will, or killing time and boredom. And this distance is far from true love, because it will soon be taken away by another style, and it will be endless.

For a long time, I was in this chaotic state, enjoying the name of reading, until I met a friend who really wrote seriously.

Nowadays, excellent authors on every topic abound. I marvel at their words and thoughts and envy their erudition and wisdom. Then I am eager to have a steady stream of inspiration and creative motivation like them.

Without exception, they are all good readers. They have made great achievements in their respective fields.

Supposedly, I just need to find the right direction and work as hard as they do. As for me, I am really ashamed! Look at this. Okay, look at that. I like novels, but I can't put down prose. My eyes are still on book reviews. One moment I feel the need to read more famous books to lay a solid foundation, and the other moment I feel the need to read reference books. Sometimes I watch chicken soup, and sometimes I chase a series. Busy and exhausted every day, but in the end I didn't lay a good foundation and became my favorite.

Later, I realized that I had to do a good job in positioning myself. I also learned how to position myself through learning, and began to think about what I like, what I am good at and what I want to do in my mind.

After thinking about it, I found that my situation is like this: the prose I wrote is the most complacent, the prose style is the most desirable, and the story is the smoothest. Self-appreciation is not writing at all, and the level of prose is not good, so I don't want to write a story. Occasionally, I have written about my reading experience, but I always feel that my knowledge reserve is not enough and my ability to collect information is not good. It's boring to feel my schoolbag dropped if I'm not careful.

Think about it, concentrate on prose, but look through your so-called prose, how can it be so featureless and lack depth?

By this time, my contempt for myself is getting more and more serious. Doubt, denial, and all kinds of whimsy followed. Even I think there are so many good articles in the world. At my level and age, why should I join in the fun and make garbage? Is it really time to put down the pen? Even if you enjoy life, it's better than staying here.

But after so long, I really can't bear to put it down. At this moment, I was labeled as "more and more talented person". This is a little awkward. Giving up is not my will, and it is likely to make this label a joke. Then, we should bite the bullet and stick to it.

I just became more and more dissatisfied with my own words, wrote half of them many times, then deleted them and gave up. Several drafts still need to be revised and kept in private.

Therefore, I haven't sent a serious article recently. Just in the form of morning diary and short self-hi, complete the daily shift.

Fortunately, in reading, I finally got a clear direction and broke the record, so that I could finish reading the same writer's book for a week in a row.

This time, I can stop reading quietly here, except for those reasons that forced me to repair it. Most importantly, I finally have a favorite and obsessed text.

It's an article by Xue Xiaochan. I like to clap my hands and sigh. What I heard on the audio these days and what I saw on my mobile phone are all her works. What makes me even more happy is that I found the book "Living Deep in a Fickle World" by Xue Xiaochan. I don't know when I bought it.

The moment I picked up the book, my heart jumped out with joy. Besides, there are several collections of essays with similar styles and beautiful writing, all of which belong to other writers.

This discovery made me excited and blushed. For so long, I actually let them stay there quietly, ignoring them indifferently and letting them be ignored.

Some people say that old things that have not been used for many years at home often bring gloomy grievances and ruin the positive energy and good atmosphere of the owner. I think these books are the same. I really made a big mistake!

At the same time, I also found some friends who surprised me online. Their words are free and easy, beautiful and romantic, or delicate and kind, which makes people feel a heartfelt joy when reading them. I feel that the whole person has regained vitality because of their words, and life has been enriched a lot.

I read these words I like greedily, forgetting the time and the discomfort of my lumbar spine. The gastritis that has been bothering me for nearly a year seems to have disappeared without a trace.

Teacher Wang said that my eyes were shining and I looked excited these two days. Did he ask me what I was stimulated by? I don't have time to care about him, but I am immersed in dating with words. He shook his head and said with a sigh, this woman is crazy!

This is an irresistible love that cannot be concealed. This kind of love is true love. It comes from the deep heart and is not affected by any external factors. This is a very pure love.

But I also know that this kind of love must become a kind of motivation to last forever. And I really stopped wandering because of this. I feel like a wandering prodigal son. All kinds of words are many beautiful women I met, and this kind of words that touched my heart most made me stop wandering without hesitation.

This article may still be rough, but I am eager to finish it. This is a text that records my inner changes, and this mental journey may have contributed to my most important turning point. I have to write it, and it's comfortable to write it!

No ring training camp? 172