The funniest joke of the year

The most witty and humorous joke of the year will definitely make you laugh. I brought you the most witty and humorous joke this year, I hope you will like it.

A humorous joke, the most humorous joke of the year.

1. The customer service phone of China Eastern Airlines is always busy for half an hour in the middle of the night, so I am anxious to change it. Suddenly I had a brainwave and chose English service, and the phone was connected instantly. I asked calmly? Can you speak Chinese? Answer after the other person is silent for three seconds? What did you say?/Sorry? . So we have been communicating in friendly Chinese. Meng mayonnaise

2. There was a sudden power failure in the morning. My mother asked me to go to the property to see if there was any arrears in the home appliance card. I lay in bed, took out my cell phone and turned on wifi. The list is empty. . . ? Mom ~ have you stopped at the community? Turn over and go back to sleep.

I was waiting for someone by the roadside when I suddenly saw a lovely girl running towards me and asked me timidly: Excuse me, are you Gu Lei?

I paused, that girl is my kind.

I thought about it and answered: I can!

Then, my sister was amused by me!

Later she became my girlfriend. We are now in the seventh year and have a lovely baby. Later, I learned that that day, Gu Lei was his brother. She borrowed books from him, but I beat her to it. Sorry, Mr. Gu!

I was waiting for my roommate in front of the library, and suddenly I saw a little brother in front who was very handsome and my favorite type, but I was embarrassed to strike up a conversation.

Suddenly, I had a brainwave. I play dumb and ask, are you Gu Lei? (Gu Lei is one of my senior brothers, just pick a name (_,))

Who knows that the opposite side is silent for a moment, reply to me: I can!

I was amused.

Then he became my male ticket.

Seven years later?

I'm so fucking witty.

5. I am the fire chief. Recently, there are many fires in spring, and there are frequent fire investigations, so I have a hoarse voice and always cough. I bought two pears yesterday to clear away dryness and moisten my lungs. This is the background.

Walking to work with two pears, I met love rat's bitch colleague. I hate him at ordinary times and always take advantage of others.

He asked shyly, why do you want to buy pears?

I replied: moisten the lungs.

He asked: Why buy two? The implication is to ask him if he wants to give him one.

I replied without changing color: one moistens the left lung and the other moistens the right lung.

Love rat bitch's grimace of a grin instantly converges and leaves.

I maintained a facial paralysis-like indifference throughout the question and answer process.

6. Childhood

I got 18 in math.

I changed it to 78 myself first.

Then change it to 98.

When I got home, my dad said that your Guawa scored 78 points and thought I couldn't pass the exam.

Go out to play with eggs

I just went out to play.

7. Go to the haunted house with your classmates! I lost myself, just when I was afraid, I took out my mobile phone and clicked "Today is a good day" ~

So all the staff playing with ghosts laughed along the way!

Jokes about cold weather, humorous quotations about cold weather

The cold wave is coming, and people in Guangdong, Guangxi and Yunnan say that 1 degree is so cold!

Beijingers laughed: Our temperature is below zero 17 degrees.

Heilongjiang people also smiled: our temperature is MINUS 33 degrees.

Hulunbeier people laughed when they heard it: our temperature is MINUS 43 degrees.

People in Guangdong, Guangxi and Yunnan sneer: I said indoors. . . Indoor! !

Ordinary cities rely on heating, literary cities rely on air conditioning, and people in Guangdong, Guangxi and Yunnan have always relied on their own integrity.

Heating basically depends on shaking!

Traffic basically depends on walking!

Communication basically depends on yelling!

Entertainment basically depends on hands!

Public security basically depends on dogs!

The couplets for drinking and drinking during the Spring Festival are horizontal and classic!

The first part: I feel irritable and want to drink.

Bottom line: Go to the top as soon as you drink.

Horizontal criticism: I am a coward.

The first part: drinking in fantasy.

Bottom line: If you drink too much, you will be in trouble.

Horizontal batch: I can't do it.

The first part: drunk, drunk, fell asleep when I got home.

Bottom line: I vomited and vomited, and it was still beeping.

Horizontal criticism: throwing annoying orchids

The first part: I am sober, I am not addicted, and I know how to reflect on myself.

Bottom line: no more drinking, no more drinking, no more partying with friends.

Horizontal criticism: impossible?

The first part: I don't want to go out and relieve my stomach.

Part II: Please forgive me for coaxing my wife.

Horizontal batch: take a day off.

Part I: It will be fine after a day.

Bottom line: I took a phone call and ran away.