Who can tell me some super funny jokes?

A lady took her 5-year-old daughter to the bank to get her salary. Because it is the first day of pay, there are many people in the bank. Seeing so many people, my little daughter got excited at once and walked around in the crowd. A lady was a little impatient when waiting in line to take care of her little daughter, so she shouted to the little girl, "Stop it, I'll punish you if you go home again!" " The little girl immediately retorted, "Don't you dare, if you want to tidy up me, I will tell grandma that I saw your penis in Dear Dad." Suddenly, the noisy bank hall was silent. ...

2

A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile.

He put the crocodile on the bar, then turned to the surprised drinker and said:

"Make a deal with you, I will open the crocodile's mouth and put my penis in it.

Then it closes its mouth for a minute, then opens it again, and I will take my people out unscathed.

At that time, each of you will buy me a drink as a reward for witnessing this spectacle. "

Everyone whispered, and the man stood in front of the bar and took off his pants.

Put his drops in the crocodile's open mouth, and the crocodile closed his mouth with the audience holding their breath.

After a minute, the man hit the crocodile on the head with a beer bottle.

The crocodile opened his mouth, and the man really took out his guy unscathed. The crowd cheered him off.

Provide drinks for men.

Soon the man stood up and put forward another proposal: "I will give 100 yuan to anyone who dares to try."

There was silence in the crowd. After a while, a hand was raised behind the bar, and a blonde said shyly:

I can try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle.

three

Once I took the elevator. When the elevator door was about to close, a buddy shouted "wait a minute" from a distance, so I blocked the elevator door. After waiting for a while, the buddy finally got into the elevator panting. As soon as this guy got on the elevator, he heard the sound of "Didi Didi Didi" in the elevator. The buddy said to himself, "There are only six or seven people. How can it be overloaded?" . That guy is probably depressed to death, but he can't help it. He was overloaded and had to get off the elevator. ...

At this moment, the elevator door closed ... and the elevator began to rise. ...

At this time, I heard another buddy in the ladder take out his mobile phone and say, "I am dizzy." My cell phone rang. What is he going to do next? " ……

four

Someone's new phone has just been rented out by the cinema, and people often call to ask about the movies being shown. At first, he always explained politely that this mobile phone is no longer owned by the cinema, but it is his now. Please don't call again. After a long time, he also felt annoyed and simply said, "You have the wrong number!" " This will also save some saliva.

One day, a familiar voice came from the other side: "What movie is showing now?" As usual, he said, "You have the wrong number!" After a moment of silence, the other party replied, "Is it a China film or a foreign film?"

five

One day, two men and women in love were on the road. The boy is with a girl. The girl is very beautiful, wearing a very elegant white dress. Boys' eyes are not very good-myopia. The boy was riding a bicycle with the girl on the road, and they were together sweetly.

At this time, passing a crossroads, no one noticed the existence of the police, and the boy rode to the police. The policeman looked at it and shouted, "You! Come down, come down. " The boy jumped out of the car at once, and the girl was calm. Seeing this situation, her mind turned to her heart. He said to the policeman, "Have you seen me? ! ! "The police were stunned. The girl winked at her boyfriend when the police were not looking, and the boy understood at once. The policeman asked the boy again, "Is she your girlfriend?" The boy said, "Who are you talking about?" The girl said, "Have you seen me?" The policeman was horrified and said to the boy, "Let's go, hurry up!" "

six

There is a man in the hotel lobby.

Want to go over and ask the waiter a question,

When he turned to the counter,

Accidentally bumped into a lady next to me,

My elbow touched it.

Her breasts.

The man turned and said:

Lady, if your heart is as soft as your chest, you will certainly forgive me. "

The lady replied, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I am in 122 1 room."

seven

One night,

When a couple is lying in bed,

The husband patted his wife on the shoulder and began to rub her arm.

The wife turned around and said:

"I'm sorry, dear, I have an appointment with a gynecologist tomorrow. I want to keep it fresh. "

After the husband was rejected, he turned to sleep.

A few minutes later, he turned around and patted his wife.

This time whispered in her ear:

"Do you want to see the dentist tomorrow? 」

After dinner, I smoked on the balcony and enjoyed it. Suddenly, I saw a flash in the night sky. I was excited: a meteor! So I made a wish at once. ...

I made six or seven wishes, opened my eyes and threw them out of the balcony when I finished smoking. Suddenly I heard a girl downstairs.

Voice: "Wow! Meteor! Make a wish ... "