What kind of behavior is considered doting?

"Drowning" is explained in the dictionary as "submerged". If parents' love overflows, it will "swamp" the child. This is doting - a kind of love that loses reason. If you observe carefully, you can find that doting does not take care of the child's soul, but more of the child's superficial and material needs. In fact, when it comes to children, what parents should do is to care about them comprehensively, and in particular, they should pay more attention to their children's souls. Doting will harm children. In the era of only children, this sentence deserves serious consideration by parents. Student Forum: My Lessons I was once a child who was doted on by my parents. My parents always put me as the center at home. Because of this, I had no idea how hard-earned everything I ate and used was. When eating, I would throw away the unpalatable dishes and throw away the rice if I didn’t like it. I never thought it was wrong and my parents never blamed me. Normally, I have everything I want, so much that I can never use it up, and I never cherish it. It wasn’t until one time when the school organized us to visit a plantation that I realized that everything was hard-won. In the plantation, the teacher asked everyone to plant ten small vegetable seedlings. I have never even touched a hoe, and now I have to dig the soil, make nests, and plant vegetable seedlings, which is simply as difficult as climbing to the sky. In order not to make a joke, I had to pretend to dig, making my shoes full of dirt. Finally, it took a lot of effort to plant the vegetable seedlings. After evaluation, only one or two of the ten trees have a higher survival rate. I broke the main roots of the rest, some were planted too deeply, some were not planted firmly, and some did not even loosen the soil. With only ten vegetable seedlings, there were so many problems. I felt extremely ashamed. I blame myself for not working, and blame my parents for pampering me and not letting me do anything. As a result, I am so ugly. The work is over, it's time to cook. The teacher asked me to go to the plantation to pick vegetables. As a result, because I didn’t know vegetables, I picked cockscombs as mushrooms and orchids as leeks, and became the laughing stock of my classmates. At that time, I wanted to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it. Although I looked ugly, I still benefited a lot from this activity. It made me realize the hardship of labor. From then on, I no longer wasted food. The difference in my living ability also sounded the alarm for me. I began to consciously learn to do things, learn to sharpen pencils, tidy up the room, Do laundry, sweep the floor, etc. Although doting comes from parents, I think as long as we work hard, we can get out of this misunderstanding. Tantou Middle School, Yongfeng County, Jiangxi Province Lan Hong Doting is not love In order to cultivate our hard-working spirit and sense of discipline, the school organized us to conduct military training. This is undoubtedly a good opportunity for us to exercise and help cultivate the spirit of hard work and hard work. However, many parents of classmates are worried about this and that, fearing that their children will not be able to eat well or sleep well. When they go to military training, many students have their bags full of food, as if they are not going to military training, but to go on an outing. I heard that parents abroad have very strict requirements for their children. They cultivate their ability to live independently from an early age and let them work to earn money and travel to gain knowledge. How many Chinese parents can do this? Competition in modern society is fierce, and parents' doting will only make children develop the habit of dependence, lack independent opinions, and lose the ability to live independently. They may even not know how to wash socks when they are teenagers. If this continues, what should they do if they encounter difficulties after entering society? I wonder if parents have thought about it. Zhou Shina, Ji'an No. 2 Middle School in Jiangxi Province, came up with the idea of ??taking the college entrance examination in 2007 when she was accompanied by two candidates. At the college entrance examination site, I saw that many candidates were accompanied by their parents. There were more parents than candidates, and the roads were blocked, making it difficult for us to even enter the examination room. My parents also said they would send me to take the exam, but I flatly refused. Later, my mother came. She told me that because she didn’t send me to take the exam, her uncle gave her a harsh lecture and complained that she was not with the child at such a critical time. Seeing parents like this makes me dumbfounded. In fact, the scene where parents take time off to spend time with their children during the college entrance examination is a concentrated expression of the doting phenomenon that exists in society.

I would like to ask parents, if their children cannot even withstand this test and have to be supported by their parents, what will they do when they enter society? Nowadays, parents dote on their children too much. They always try to take care of everything for their children and dare not let them do anything alone. If this continues, how will the children grow up spiritually? Yishui, Hebei Let children grow up in hardship. Whenever I hear news about college students who can't even wash their clothes after entering school, I will sigh: Their parents love them too much. Looking back on my growth experience, I am very grateful to my parents for their strict requirements on me. When I was young, my family's financial situation was not bad, but my parents never pampered my sister and me. Since I was eight years old, my parents have asked me to pack a bundle of firewood when I get home from school, cook on weekends, and help with harvesting during the farm work. In fact, I couldn't help at all at that time. Most of the time, I just made trouble, but my parents never "let go" of me. I particularly envy Gangzi, who is the same age as me next door. His parents never let him work, and he gets everything he wants. One time I really didn’t want to work anymore, so I asked my parents: "Why are you so cruel to me? You are no better than Gangzi’s parents!" My parents taught me sincerely: "You can only be a good person if you endure hardships." Man. This is for your own good! If we spoil you now, who will support you when you grow up?" Gradually, I enjoyed the joy of harvest in the process of enduring hardship. Today, sitting in the spacious and bright classroom of the School of Military Economics, I often reflect on my parents’ good intentions and understand their rational love and true love. It is they who allowed me to develop the excellent qualities of hard work, diligence, self-improvement, and self-reliance through hard work, which will definitely affect my life. Cheng Lin, Procurement Team No. 1 of Wuhan Military and Economics University Parents’ heart-to-heart talk: Doting is a scourge. I am both the mother of an only child and a teacher of many only children. I deeply understand that parents' doting on their children seriously affects their healthy growth. My daughter, Diandian, is smart and cute. Her family dotes on her, especially her grandparents. This makes the child have a bad temper and cry when he doesn't get what he wants. My wife and I didn't like it at first, and while asking the elders to stop spoiling her, we started to have strict requirements on her. Every time she did something wrong, we would give her a certain punishment and patiently tell her why she was wrong. I will continue to do this from now on and never give in once. Slowly, the child's character improved. At school, there are many only children among my students. Because they were doted on since childhood, they are now in high school, and many of them are still not sensible at all. He is inconsiderate of his parents at home and yells in front of them. He cannot stand any grievances and frustrations at school. He will cry or run away from school at the slightest thing, making the class difficult to manage. Therefore, I think children should be loved, but do not spoil them, as spoiling them is harmful. Xu Liping, No. 2 Middle School, Yongfeng County, Jiangxi Province My parenting story Parents dote on their children often because they lack methods to educate their children. From my own experience, only by guiding children according to their interests can we achieve better educational results. My child has been very fond of Ultraman cartoons since he was in kindergarten. It is no exaggeration to say that he forgets to eat and sleep. He is neither interested in studying nor willing to work, and his self-care ability is relatively poor. I once chatted with him and learned that he admires Ultraman because they always stand up in times of crisis and are great heroes. At this time, I first strongly praised the child's point of view and encouraged him to be a hero like Ultraman. Then I changed the subject and told him that being a hero requires a lot of effort: he must learn to do his own things. If you can't handle these things in life well, then the hero will not be able to do those big things; you must learn to cooperate with others. Sometimes monsters are very powerful and require the cooperation of several people to defeat them. Sometimes you also need to cooperate with others when playing and studying. Cooperate, so you must respect others; being a hero will bleed, even die, etc. When the child heard this, he said: "Being a hero is troublesome and will lead to death, so I shouldn't do it." I said: "No, just because it is not easy to be a hero, there are relatively few heroes and they are so respected!" Child Get excited again. I turned the topic to cartoons again and said, "Look, if you watch Ultraman cartoons every day, you can't eat well, sleep well, or study well. Can you become a hero in the future?" He shook his head.

I added: "So from now on, you have to do things like a hero. Do whatever you need to do every day. Do what you need to do well, and then do what you like. Be a little hero first, okay?" Child He said happily: "Okay." After that, he really slowly got rid of his previous bad habits and became a sensible child who loves learning. This incident made me realize that to discipline children, we need to both manage and teach. To manage is to grasp the direction, and to teach is to impart the method. The principle of discipline is to praise, but also to criticize. There should be no preference between the two. Praise should be sincere and firm, criticism should be tactful and reasonable, give children enough time to think and change, and point out the way for children instead of blocking the road. Zhao Hui, Boxing County, Shandong Province People who came here said: Thank you to your parents. When it comes to the topic of doting, no one is more distressed than us, the police. Because every year, a considerable number of children turn to crime because of spoiling. The criminal trajectories of many of them are like this: because they have grown up in a "greenhouse" since childhood, everyone around these children is at their mercy, and they have the majesty of "little emperors". Once this kind of self-respecting character is challenged in a new environment, he will become intolerable and fight. This reminds me of my own experience. Although I come from a rural area, my family's living standard was top-notch in the village when I was a child. When I was in junior high school, the school conditions were very poor, and there were thirty or forty people living in the dormitory. In winter, there is often a thick layer of ice on the floor of the dormitory. Every night when I go to bed, I dare not take off my clothes. Three or four people huddle together to keep warm, with three or four quilts piled on top of them. Although my family is wealthy, they only give me 2 yuan of pocket money every week. I felt very aggrieved at the time because the parents of some children from relatively poor families rented houses for them near the school, and there were people at home who came to take care of them. But no matter what they say, my parents just don't agree. They say: You can also endure the hardships that others can endure. However, this period of life did train me. Last year I went home to visit relatives, and many folks came to play at home. A fellow villager envied my parents and asked them: "How did you educate your children and train a police officer? Our unlucky one has now acquired a bad habit, gambling every day, and beating people when he loses money!" My father said it bluntly: "If you treat your child like an emperor, will he be okay?" My father's words made me understand the good intentions of my parents back then. Now, I want to say something very real to all parents: In order to see your children stand upright in the future, and in order that you can eat the food they personally cooked for you when you are old, please stop spoiling them. Expert comment from Sun Yonghong of the 10th Beitun Agricultural Division of the Xinjiang Construction Corps: How to get rid of the misunderstanding of doting. In the era of only children, parents concentrated the love that should have been distributed to several children on one child, coupled with the care and love of the grandparents, So, what many children feel now is superimposed love. It is the nature of parents to love their children, and children with parental love are happy. However, love, like everything in the world, exceeds a certain level and becomes doting, which will produce various negative effects, drowning and suffocating children's life feelings and living space, causing children to form various bad habits, which will greatly affect their health. growing up. So how can we get out of the misunderstanding of doting? First, we need to update our concepts. In order to truly make children feel the love of their parents and transform this love into the joy of life and motivation for life, parents and elders should not only consider their own subjective wishes in daily life, but also pay attention to the actual feelings of the children. , transcending the one-dimensional stance of giving love blindly, not only allowing children to grow in love, but also allowing them to learn to give love while receiving love. Secondly, we must pay attention to methods and methods. Under the pressure of going to school, many parents are now very concerned about their children's academic studies and regard this as a concentrated expression of their love for their children. The so-called family education is nothing more than study guidance. This greatly narrows the horizons of family education. In fact, the advantages of family education are concentrated in the following aspects: the cultivation of good moral character and behavioral habits, the cultivation of personality and expertise, the cultivation of life experience and ability, the stimulation of learning interest and motivation, good study habits and other non-intellectual factors cultivation, etc. From the analysis of successful tutoring experience for primary and secondary school students, parents often guide their children to actively participate in family life through parent-child conversations, timely guidance, emotional communication, housework, and personality modeling in daily family life. In the process, lively, fast and effective educational effects will be produced naturally and naturally.