In a bad mood, who will tell two jokes to make me happy? Give points if you laugh.

Classic joke: eavesdropping on sexual intercourse at night. A new eunuch, afraid of falling asleep and not hearing the emperor's orders, hid under the bed without authorization. I found it the next morning. The emperor said, "Well, how long have you been a slave under my bed?" The eunuch knelt on the ground and replied, if you go back to the emperor, the slave will stay under the bed for five more days. "What did you hear?" In another day, you and the queen will appreciate this painting. "What do you mean?" Listen to you and the empress say ... "Come and let me see your breasts." "What about the second watch?" "It seems that you fell to the ground on duty for the second time." "What do you mean?" "Listen to the empress: come on up!" "Night and day?" You seem to be eating crabs. ""What do you mean? " "Whatever you say: break your leg!" "What about the fourth class?" "It seems that your mother-in-law is coming in four days. ? "What do you mean?" "I heard the queen shout," Oh, my mother, oh, my mother! ! ! ！” "What about the fifth watch?" "You are playing chess with the empress." "What do you mean? "The slave listened to the queen and said," One more shot, one more shot! ! ! ! "