"Parent-child bath" is the best time for sex education, teaching children to respect other people's bodies.

The reader wrote to ask:

Would you like to ask Anyi about "parent-child bath"? Because I was besieged by two neighbors in the community swimming pool last night, saying that it was inappropriate for me to take a bath with my son since the first grade of primary school, and one of them was a friend of a 38-year-old pediatrician. But I didn't see any inappropriate research reports in the article! After reading your article for a long time, I didn't see this topic. Can we talk?

Anyi's reply:

I think this question is different from every family's cognition of "body and privacy", but the answer is different, and there is no right or wrong. As long as it is a healthy and normal parent-child relationship, it doesn't matter how old you want to take a shower together. Westerners don't say it's with their own families. A stranger's naked beach bath or pants festival is happy, nothing serious!

My daughter has always been generous and refuses to take a bath with her parents. Today, at the age of 18, she still often performs at home, strolling naked in the living room in front of her father and brother ... completely ignoring our existence! On the contrary, I always remind her that "the curtain is not closed, be careful to run away!" " 」

As for my brother, 15 years old. Since junior high school, he has stopped taking a bath with me, and usually covers the "important parts" a little. But he is still not used to closing the door when taking a shower. He still comes in and out naturally when I take a shower.

Recommended reading: No one is perfect, mothers should stop being crazy about trifles!

When children were young, we often took a bath together. It was a wonderful bath time. There are many small toys in my bathroom: bubble bath essence, water spray doll, glass eraser ... Sometimes my brother and sister wash together, play with water, bubble together and draw together, which is very fun! My son likes to refine "magic medicine" in the bathroom, and bottles are piled up on the edge of the bathtub, colorful; I like to play with them to pinch towel bubbles and see who can pinch the most water bubbles. There are also water guns, underwater cars and bath books. .....

Sometimes when the son and father wash together, the father and son will have a "talk". When going to the hot springs, the whole family streaked together and chatted in the water, relaxing and comfortable. Now that I have grown up, I often wash with my little nephew. We both brush our teeth and fight to "vomit" every time. He likes taking a bath with his aunt best!

As for the older children, although they no longer take a bath, they still take a bath as a happy thing. My daughter likes singing in the shower; My son often plays "inner theater" in the bath and mumbles to himself. It takes half an hour to wash. I tried to eavesdrop, but I couldn't understand. Up to now, we still often change clothes naked together, and there is nothing to hide. I think when a child doesn't want us to see her body, she will naturally express her reluctance and ask for privacy, and then she just needs to respect it.

When I was a child, I seemed to be the same as my mother. But in retrospect, my father was more conservative. I don't remember seeing my father naked. It should be that he is shy!

I strongly encourage parents and children to bathe together. A research survey in the United States shows that "parents bathing with their young children, or letting her bathe with their brothers and sisters, is conducive to the harmony of family relations, the establishment of kinship, the understanding of gender characteristics, and learning to respect other people's bodies." 」

Recommended reading: Parent-child relationship begins with accompanying each other and setting an example.

As far as children's development is concerned, the gender concept of children aged one to three is still very vague. I once teased my nephew that "my uncle is a girl", and he was dumbfounded by me. By the age of four to eight, you will gradually realize your gender and learn gender orientation. Children over the age of nine may gradually develop the concept of "privacy", that is, they know how to be shy and know which private parts should not be seen casually and which organs should not be touched.

Therefore, before the child has developed "privacy" and "shyness", you can accompany the child to take a bath, and don't be shy and embarrassed. Unless you feel uncomfortable, bathing is the best time for sex education!

For example, when my son and daughter take a bath with me, they learn to address different parts of the body and why they look different from my body. It is also when they take a bath that they know what menstruation is and what sex organs are. We often talk about the day's experience when taking a bath, and sometimes take the opportunity to educate our children not to be physically in front of others, and to respect and protect privacy.

* * * Bathing has so many benefits, why not?

Chen Anyi authorized to reprint the original source of parent-child bath.