Looking for the funniest little joke without any connotations

What I am best at is convincing people with virtue.

The stone steps asked the Buddha statue: "We are all stones, why are you worshiped by others but trampled on by others?" The Buddha statue sneered. Said: "You only took four cuts to become Shi Jie, but I took a thousand cuts to become what I am today. If you want to succeed, you have to go through hardships!" A few days later, Shi Jie brought a companion and found him again. Buddha statue: "This is my cousin, the chopping board. You should also tell him." Buddha statue: "..."

Student: Are there any berths at XX? Conductor: No more. Student: Where is the hard seat? Conductor: No more. Student: Do you still have standing tickets? Conductor: Yes, but we don’t sell student tickets. Student: Why? Conductor: The Ministry of Railways has said that no student will be allowed to go home standing this year.

A man and woman were making out. The man was working very hard, but the woman had no reaction. The man asked angrily: "Can't you have some reaction? You can't even scream in bed!" The woman After hearing this, I quickly shouted: "Bed!! Bed!!"

Mom: I asked you to give it to grandma, have you given it to me? Daughter: Sent. Mom: Then why did grandma fall? Daughter: Just watching.

When I was in elementary school, I loved to sleep in class. Once, the Chinese teacher assigned me an assignment to write a composition, and the title was "If I were a spider." After class, I asked my classmates, and spent the evening at home racking my brains to write an article called "If I Were a Pig" that shocked the whole school.

When you sell your house, spend all your cash, max out your credit cards, scold your annoying boss and superiors, confess all your extramarital affairs to your wife, confess your feelings to the goddess you secretly love, be prepared to leave no regrets. After December 21, only to find that the sun rises as usual the next day, this is called the end of the world.