A joke about typos.

For a road idiot, the most precious thing is that you stand still and I'll pick you up. The following is a joke I carefully arranged because of typos, I hope it will help you!

The typo is a joke 1 1. Take a pound by surprise.

Whether it is rice or wine, those who can eat a catty must be eating, and those who can eat a catty must be vicious.

2. Ten-finger salary (ten fingers linked to one heart)

First, people who don't work can't eat, and they have to work ten fingers to get food; Secondly, when it comes to Nami rice every month, it is estimated that you can't move your fingers.

3. Gonggong Channel (public channel) (city channel)

A while ago, from CCTV to local TV stations, turning on the TV was all historical dramas, and my eyes were full of fathers-in-law. However, it seems that the limelight has turned these days and it has become popular again. It is estimated that in the eyes of playing TV, absolute male, super female and father-in-law are all the same thing, making money. So it's also called full channel.

4. Zero tree planting (afforestation)

It is said that the number of trees planted on Arbor Day every year is astronomical.

5. In world affairs, if you drink too much, you will get drunk, and if you drink too much, you will be divided (the general trend of the world, if you divide for a long time, you will divide for a long time).

No wonder some people say that manufacturers in China are grandfathers and consumers are grandsons. Advertisements that make decisions for consumers like this are everywhere in China.

6. A salary of 100 million yuan (single-minded)

With an annual salary system, it is estimated that only Bill Gates in the world can achieve an annual salary of 100 million (if he is willing to pay himself). The problem is that the bosses of some large and medium-sized domestic enterprises have set themselves an annual salary far higher than that of ordinary workers and technicians. Bosses do contribute more to the enterprise than ordinary employees, but is it necessary for them to set themselves an annual salary several times higher than ordinary employees?

The joke caused by typo 2 1. Courier: "Hello, is it closed?" Go to the doorman and get your delivery. "

Recipient: "I am still Tathagata. You have the wrong number? "

Courier: "Yes, I have a courier for you here. The consignee has closed it."

Recipient: "Shut your sister, my name is Zheng Yue."

I think my leader is an inexplicable mental derangement. Today, after work, the leader mysteriously called me to his office, handed me a very delicate little box, and then told me to go home later, close all the doors and windows, and then open it when I was alone. I really believe it ... Open it! Damn it! Duty list during New Year's Day! I can't believe my name appears every day! ……

The young couple are talking on the phone. Woman: Why is your voice so strange? Man: Clear the cache of respiratory system ~ Woman: Speak human words! ! Man: I am picking my nose. . .

4. "it's over, I found out that my roommate is gay."

"How did you find out?"

"I always dream about him and me ..."

At the end of the year, we can finally confidently hand over what we planned to finish this year at this time last year to next year!

A joke about typos 3 Visit the History Museum.

On New Year's Day, my family went to the History Museum to visit the "Ice Toilet" (Terracotta Warriors).

After getting up in the morning and sorting out the "body" (appearance), we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting for a graduation trip.

Last night, my left eyelid kept jumping. I thought it was a "bra". Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today.

The newspaper says that oysters contaminated with heavy metals can "cure" (cause) cancer …

Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two hamburgers and "chicken nuggets and feces" (one serving) …

When I was preparing to go out shopping on Sunday, I was accidentally caught in the "anus" (steel door) in my hurry. What bad luck.

After visiting the flower market, I spent money to buy "Jian Xia" (gladiolus) and prepared to take it home for the New Year.

My history teacher has long hair and shawl, short stature, short temper and a little "chest" (fierce) …

I think I am a good student who is worried about my studies …

Take a break and write a drink.

A student loves to write typos and always writes rest as drinking.

In his diary, he wrote, "The squad leader instructed us to carry shit. Everyone worked hard and no one dared to take a sip." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor. "

Buy life

In ancient times, a businessman who was away from home asked someone to take a letter home and ask him to bring back what he needed. But when his wife saw this letter, she was really scared. The letter said, "... it's rainy here, so I get sick easily because I didn't buy life." Please go home today and buy my life for me, earnestly ... "In fact, this man mistyped the umbrella (traditional Chinese) as the" life "of life and made a joke.

What happened to that beautiful woman?

Chatting with my classmates in the corridor, a beautiful female chemistry teacher passed by,

I pointed to the teacher and said to my friend, "That beautiful woman ..."

The chemistry teacher heard it. He turned around, smiled and asked, "What happened to that beautiful woman?"

I paused and answered, "Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K and Ca"

Can you give me a spoon?

There used to be a monk who passed by our village looking for water and went to Aunt Wang's house.

Monk: "patroness, I'm here to beg for water."

Aunt Wang kindly took the monk to the yard: "Master, wait for me to fetch water."

The monk nodded kindly: "The benefactor is really kind. Can you give me a scoop? "

Then there was a lame monk in our town.

Is it cool?

A colleague came to work today and saw that his hair was short.

Me: How to cut your hair? Is it cool?

He sincerely said to me: Not 2 yuan, but 28 yuan!

Zhu Shanghai

There is a classmate in the class named Zhu Shanghai, and Tepi doesn't like studying.

Once in class, he played by himself, which influenced others.

The teacher criticized him viciously:

"You are so unlearned and want to live in Shanghai? I can't open the door when I live in the toilet. "

To find you (roommate)!

"Teacher, you wanted to see me?"

"I heard that you often have an accident recently. Did you skip class yesterday? "

"well. I did go to cut class. "

"Is it fast to use in the dormitory?"

"I am useful."

"Is there a hair dryer in the dormitory?"

"well. I am useful. "

"Oh, the teacher is wrong about you, go and call you (roommate)!"

Since I am kneeling like this, I won't buy it.

Go shopping for clothes with my girlfriend, who likes a coat.

It costs 6888 yuan to open the label.

My girlfriend is also very sensible, knowing that it is not easy for me to make money.

He turned to me and said, "Since I am kneeling like this, I won't buy it."

I am a lost child.

The child got lost in the forest and met a big stupid bear.

The child said, I am a lost child. Can you take me to see my mother?

The big stupid bear nodded and took the child to the elk's house. ......

It's not good to die.

Liu Bei: "Zhao Yun. We three brothers used to be best friends. You are a good man today, count you in. "

Zhao Yun: "You'd better not."

Zhang Fei: "How can you look down on our brothers?"

Zhao Yun: "No, Brother Fei, I just don't think it's nice to call Zhao Si."

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