Give a real dialect joke.

Northerners want to go to the toilet on the way to Wuxi, so they ask an old lady the way: "Aunt, where is the toilet?"

The old lady in Wuxi replied with Xipu (literally translated into Putonghua in Wuxi dialect): "Cross the Chinese side (meaning in Wuxi dialect), walk forward with one foot (pronounced as" one plus "in Wuxi dialect, which is the same as" foot "and" a "), and hold your head tightly (meaning" hold your head tightly "in Wuxi dialect)."

Northerners are depressed. Is there any way? You must walk on one foot. But I'm in a hurry Willy-nilly, I lifted one foot and jumped forward.

Second,

In Wu dialect, shampooing is called "heading". It is said that there is business in the north to visit customers in Suzhou. On the way, I found that my hair seemed to be messed up, so I went to the barber shop for a haircut. After the haircut, the barber asked:

"Do you want to start?"

"Ah?" Northerners are depressed. What are the rules? If you get a haircut, you have to be beaten. "Can you not fight?"

"Shave your head, after all, still want to play. If you don't play here, you can turn around and play! "

Northerners are even more depressed, thinking that they will be beaten sooner or later, or they will be beaten here: "Master, then you can fight!" "

Third,

In Wu dialect, the word "car" in chess is homophonic with the word "pig", which is pronounced as "ju", but the general car on the road is still called "car".

In other words, a man, who has never seen any market, plays chess at home, eats a "car" while the other party is not looking, and shouts excitedly, "My horse ate your car."

The other party corrected him and said, "This is not a car."

The man wrote it down. It turned out to be Che Nianju.

Once, his family wanted to send a pig to the slaughterhouse, and the man went. The owner of the slaughterhouse is also an old acquaintance of their family. He met and asked, "Why are you here today?"

"I came from (pig) today!"