"Husband, can't you care about me?" "I care about it, and your illness will be fine?" Should I get a divorce?

Marriage, like drinking water, is self-aware.

If you compare it to a road, it may be this form. The front is flat, with the increase of time, problems will be exposed, and the back will become more and more bumpy.

Even in the state of marriage, all problems reach a peak, because marriage will make the problems that were originally ignored in love become serious.

In this process, there may be such a change: his love and obedience are gradually decreasing, while your love and dependence are gradually increasing.

So after marriage, many people will face the problem that he has changed.

A married friend once discussed this problem with me. She said that after marriage, she often felt that her husband had changed, which was reflected in all aspects.

Before marriage, her husband listened to her. She said that her husband would hardly go west. When she was angry, she coaxed her and never said a word of no.

But after marriage, those flattery and accommodation are less than half. Her husband has become a very lazy person. Things at home seldom help her When he comes home, he just plays games or watches TV.

She talked to her husband about the problem, only to find that communication seemed useless. The other party either didn't listen at all or promised well, but didn't do it at all.

During that time, she often wondered: Did she marry the wrong person? The man who spoiled her before marriage, everything is fake? Later, I got it, didn't know how to cherish it, and returned to the original appearance?

And herself, she thinks she has always been a qualified wife.

Not to mention that she seldom worked before marriage and was considerate of her husband's hard work. After marriage, she always told herself to be a good wife and mother.

But just because she has a good marriage doesn't mean she is a hard-working role. Her dedication is to let the other person understand her dedication and see her tolerance, so as to repay the love she wants.

This is her best idea of marriage all the time, but after marriage, she found that it is impossible for only one person to pay in marriage.

02

Unilateral giving is like a clear spring without a source. If the water keeps flowing, the clear spring will dry up one day.

Not long after marriage, she often lamented her husband's indifference to me.

It is said that once it was her husband's birthday, several relatives came to the family. She and her mother-in-law are in charge of cooking in the kitchen. After a while, everyone eats first.

When she eats, she has no place. Some relatives asked the younger generation in the family to stand up and give her a seat. She smiled and said that she was standing on the principle of "the visitor is the guest".

And her husband, from beginning to end, only cared about eating by himself, never asked her a word, nor added a stool to her. She said, "His place is quite wide. Move over and add a stool, no problem. "

She was actually a little angry at that time, but when she saw her husband saying nothing, she was also stubborn and stood there eating silently.

In the evening, after the guests left, she began to sulk. Just like before, her husband didn't know, and he was still asking her to peel a fruit for himself.

She didn't go and started talking about noon. She was very wronged and almost cried, but her husband was still silent after hearing it, not knowing whether he didn't want to talk or what to say.

She said that her husband has a straight temper and won't say anything comforting. She also knows that sometimes holding a sentence for a long time may be counterproductive.

But at that time, her parents were very optimistic about this boy, saying that he was decent and reliable. She also thinks that he is honest in doing things at ordinary times, and only after she got married did she know that he was so unreliable.

Similar things have happened since they got married. Anyway, in her description, her husband is a person who doesn't know how to be warm and cold, and marrying him belongs to the wrong person.

What really chilled her was another thing.

03

When a person is sick, it is always easy to become dependent on others and more eager to be taken care of by the other half. However, this concern may be really useless from the actual situation.

But that's not important. The important thing is that the other party has such a caring heart, and her husband is still indifferent.

Once, she had a fever and stayed in bed for a day without cooking. In the evening, my husband came back and went out to buy rice. He has been sitting on the sofa playing games since they finished eating.

Without a word of concern, her heart gradually cooled, and she felt even more wronged when she thought of her contribution to this family, thinking that even if he said "drink more hot water", it would be fine.

She finally couldn't help it. She got up. Her husband saw him and asked, "Don't you sleep?" Then he said to himself, "That's right. After sleeping for a day, I can't sleep at night. "

She spoke out her doubts: "Husband, I am sick, can't you care about me?"

Her husband's answer is exactly the same as before: "I care, and your illness will be fine?" Besides, it's just a cold, not a terminal illness. "In fact, there is no problem in logic. He cares. He can't get over it.

But emotionally, it hurts. Because she said that if he was ill, she would be worried. Be caring and attentive and take care of everything.

Later, she got another answer from a good friend. A good friend's marriage is the opposite of hers.

People always like to compare unconsciously, and she is no exception. Once she went to a friend's house, she was envious, because her friend's husband was a far cry from hers.

She can make money outside, do laundry and cook at home, and be caring and attentive, which is the kind of person she has been looking for. Her best friend's husband, she also met early in the morning, when she was in college.

She and I both think, how can people change so much?

Because at first, her friend's husband was a person who couldn't even make noodles. After he adjusted the water, he put the noodles directly in, without waiting.

At that time, her friends told the story as a joke, and everyone laughed their heads off. When her husband is with her, he can cook. Why do they all go in the opposite direction after marriage?

04

He who can't cook becomes a good man at home, and he who knows everything becomes indifference.

Her friend's words directly woke her up: "What kind of person do you want him to be, you have to cultivate it slowly, or just tell him what you want him to do." For example, I want him to learn to cook. After I officially confirmed the relationship, I began to let him learn. "

Later, she recalled her love and marriage process and found that she pinned all her hopes on him, hoping that he would care about himself and be considerate of himself, but she just hoped in her heart and said nothing.

Therefore, her husband knows nothing, even where she is angry.

She said: "Later, I learned to be a good boy. I won't just pay silently, I will clearly tell him my demands, stop playing charades and let him guess as before. If I want him to do housework, I will tell him what to do. If not, I'll tell him what to do. If you are ill, ask him to bring tea and water. In fact, he will do it. "

At this time, she recalled her former self, sighed stupidly, finished everything alone, and began to complain again. It also makes the other party have no sense of participation in marriage and naturally becomes lazy and indifferent.

Marriage is a matter for two people. From the beginning, you shouldn't take everything on yourself.