38 funny and interesting quotes suitable for posting on WeChat Moments

1. A ‘good boy’ makes me feel a lot of colorful bubbles. See, I'm not as cold as you see.

2. "There is a kind of person who doesn't like you and won't let you like others." "Are you talking about the head teacher?"

3. Some people say that my photo doesn't look like me. , I laughed. It takes me two hours to photoshop a photo. If it's the same as mine, wouldn't my photo be photoshopped in vain? !

4. You are my little darling, I can’t love you enough. Super domineering and funny WeChat personalized signature__ I remember the most domineering sentence when I was a kid was: “You are waiting after school.

5. If you make a mistake and are caught by the teacher, just say to the teacher: "Teacher, just think of me as a fart and let it go." ”

6. My life goal is to own my own house in Beijing when I am thirty. Now my goal has been halfway achieved: I am already thirty years old.

< p> 7. Ash fertilizer will turn black, and black fertilizer will turn gray. Ash fertilizer will turn black when it volatilizes, black fertilizer will turn gray when it volatilizes, and black fertilizer will turn gray when it volatilizes.

8. One day, Cowherd told Weaver Girl that we couldn’t meet each other because Magpies were all in love. Weaver Girl said it didn’t matter, so let’s just send text messages!

9. Singles, please don’t. You are troubled, you must be a fairy who came to the mortal world to experience the tribulation of love. Be good and bear with it. After the tribulation is over, you can ascend to the gods and say goodbye to those mortals.

10. I only need three steps to do math problems now: read the problem once, write the solution, and start crying.

11. After all, not every relationship can have a perfect ending, and that’s the case with math. < /p>

12. A girl was playing mahjong. They said they didn’t want to play with money, so I said I could use whatever I had. As a result, I won three packs of sanitary napkins, two packs of paper towels, and one pack of wet wipes.

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13. A woman who is redder than a red diamond falls in love with a man who is more yellow than a yellow diamond. Finally, a mistress comes who is greener than a green diamond and gives birth to a son called a member.

14. I was on a business trip yesterday and contacted an old friend. He told me on the phone that he would invite me to eat at the largest chain restaurant in the country. I was full of expectations. It turned out to be Shaxian snacks!

15. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight - at the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Brother, let me go, you are blocking my mobile phone signal.

16. "You sit down." What's the most crowded bus you've ever taken? "I was just passing by, but I was squeezed into the car." ”

17. “What is a light bulb?” “Two boys and one girl walking on the street will think they are light bulbs.”

18. “Guess what the parent-teacher conference will be after the midterm exam?” How about it. "Having a second child." ”

19. Today is Teacher’s Day. Teacher, I miss you very much. Thank you for your hard work. I have already returned the knowledge you gave me. When do you think you will return the tuition fees to me?< /p>

20. The thin man is clamoring to lose weight, the top student is complaining that he failed the test again, the rich man is frowning and crying about poverty, and the goddess is posting on Weibo that Singles’ Day is alone again

21. The funniest thing in history is what I said to you last year. It took you 5 months and 3 days to respond to me this year. Wow! The response was so fast.

22. I was so surprised! I can’t believe that the fat cells that have been waiting for me all day long pretended not to understand when I was about to freeze to death in the cold wind

23. Other classes We would all talk together when we confessed, but our class just yelled "Have a litter!" Give birth to a litter! "It makes me drunk too.

24. What makes my nose itchy is spring; what is wind blowing through my sleeves is summer; what is towering in the sky is autumn; by the time I realize it, winter has passed

25. When the husband is away, the wife tells her: Don’t drink strong alcohol and don’t gamble; don’t pick wild flowers on the roadside; cherish your feelings and care for your wife; this is how your husband is cute! < /p>

26. Don’t always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, and others envy you for having a good stomach. You envy others for being rich, and others envy that no one wants to borrow money from you.

27. Why is it that when people come to my house, I am always busy waiting on them like a grandson, but when I go to other people’s houses, I act like a grandson? What’s wrong?

28. Life is like this, one wave after another. Treat allergies in spring, oil in summer, hair loss in autumn, dryness in winter, acne less often and wrinkles more often, and then you will fight against obesity for the rest of your life.

29. I have degenerated and I still can’t swim. You know, before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer...

30. Today with Hua went shopping and suddenly saw a fat man falling into the ditch. Can you think of that scene? May I? Fat man, ditch! Fall in!

31. When you are sleepy after doing homework and want to sleep, tell yourself: That is your memorial, that is your country, and those are your people. Then I wake up instantly and I will be a wise king!

32. The head teacher made a mistake and said "those who have attended my class" instead of "those who have attended my class".

33. Honey, the weather is getting cold, remember to wear more clothes, you know? You have to eat on time, go out less often if you have nothing to do, and cover yourself with a quilt at night. Don't let me catch a cold. Be obedient.

34. If you think you are fat but refuse to lose weight, just think of people who are fatter than you. This is a great comfort. If you can't find anyone fatter than you, just fend for yourself!

35. Many people are constantly planning their lives and are under great pressure every day. In fact, it doesn’t matter how you live your life. They will all regret it. If you think about the past few decades, you will understand.

36. At many years old, some people have escaped singlehood, and some have escaped poverty, but I have escaped from the reins, running wildly on the road of sex like a husky.

37. Hello! They are as thin as toothpicks, and they are usually piled together. Every time that happens, I feel like I dreamed that my grandma was sewing clothes.

38. The crow stood on the back of the black pig and said that the black pig was black. The black pig said that the crow was darker than the black pig. The crow said that its body was blacker than the black pig but its mouth was not black. The black pig laughed after hearing this. Hey hey hey hey.