Are there any jokes about zongzi? thank you

"Meat jiaozi! Meat jiaozi! Seven corners, authentic Hunan meat dumplings! "

There is a rice dumpling stand at the corner in front of Wan Jiale. The pulled-up cloth reads Tangji Zongzi, which is sold by two strange faces. Men wear a pair of glasses and women have long hair. They all look very delicate, unlike those in this line of work.

I crouched behind a food stall and squinted at them.

Don Ji's zongzi is freshly packed, with a pot beside it and a gas tank under the noodle table. They are very picky about the materials they choose. Although I can't see clearly what they have, I can tell by the smell. Bamboo leaves in Nanshan, reed rope in Zhaojiawan, glutinous rice in Northeast China, jujube in Shandong and rhubarb rice can't smell the place of origin, but the aroma is suffocating. Especially meat, I don't know what it is made of, even if it is raw, it is also exciting.

I took a deep breath and swallowed my mouth full of body fluids.

Such zongzi must be so fragrant that people can't bear to swallow it, right?

However, in the whole street filled with the fragrance of zongzi, I also smelled a special smell of meat. If I am not mistaken, it is probably human flesh.

"Officer Shi, ambush here again?"

I was about to get lost in thought when suddenly a loud voice rang in my ear. I don't need to turn my head to know that the strong local accent is Chen Wu, a vegetable dealer.

"shh! Keep your voice down! " "oh! I know, you catch bad guys here, so I won't get in your way. Officer Shi, you are very busy, so you don't have to send them ... "

I'll take him? Everyone around me is smiling, including men and women who sell zongzi. I really want to send peanuts to Chen Wuyi!

Chen Wu is a little deaf, but he is good at greeting people. Every word he said was like shouting at the top of his lungs. Last time, I asked him to call the police about the children who stole things in Xinjiang. As a result, I didn't finish the target that month. I didn't expect to meet him again this time. Luck is endless. This is my first real case.

I almost buried my head in celery leaves, wondering why I didn't hide under the meat box of the girl selling meat opposite, and no one would ever find out. Just then, the intercom rang, and it was the captain.

"Captain, don't worry, I'm watching, where can they run ..."

I looked up again, and the zongzi stand was gone!

How is that possible? I stood up with celery smell and looked at it with wide eyes. The rice dumpling stand that was there just now is really gone, and even the flour spilled on the ground has been swept clean. How is that possible?

"Team ... team ... captain, they're gone ..."

Words of greeting to the elders suddenly came from the intercom, but my eyes were still fixed there. How did they do it?

According to the tip-off, the man and the woman are inter-provincial murderers. They kill people for no reason, killing them wherever they pass by. Men kill, women kill, and children are not spared. But the old man didn't kill him, which may be the reason why the meat was too loose. They make a living by selling snacks. It is said that all the food they sell is delicious. But it's probably made of human flesh, so my colleagues in the bureau have stopped eating in the street recently. I still eat some occasionally. I am a bachelor. Nobody cooks for me. I don't eat out. Eating instant noodles all day will kill me.

"Bastard! Are you still there? Go after it! "

The captain leaned out from the second floor of Jingjing Hotel and shouted at me. He is half naked and his face is dark red. He probably hasn't finished communicating with the new lady. I jumped out of the food stall and chased it to the corner. What am I chasing? Who knows? Let's run there first.

"Did any of you see where that rice dumpling stand went just now?"

I asked loudly, panting, and the vendor looked at me with big innocent eyes and shook his head in disbelief. Darkness falls like a curtain, my future.

"Stone police, meet again so soon?"

Chen Wu, the vegetable vendor, stood up and smiled at me.

"My name is stone, not death! Call me the police ... "

"I know you are a historical policeman, not a shit policeman. You told us on the first day you came! "

I feel chest tightness and shortness of breath, and my hands and feet are cold. The world is really desperate. I put my hand on my face. Don't let me see him again. I will pull out my gun. But all of a sudden, I suddenly realized, yes!

"Chen Wu, do you see the zongzi stand over there?"

"I see, why? Officer Shi, do you want to eat zongzi? I ate their rice dumplings Fan Jie, or meat dumplings delicious ... "

"I ask you, where are they?"

Chen Wu looked confused, even my expression was unnatural.

? "Didn't you take them away? Just now, you helped that man get the gas tank on the tricycle! "

"Me? You said it was me? "

"Yes and yes, it's you! You also ate a few meat buns ... "

The earth is spinning and Chen Wu is rocking. I staggered back a few steps, feeling that I was really a dead policeman this time.

"Stone! What are you doing there? "

The captain appeared in the street and glared. I trotted over and thought, this is so strange. Did I eat jiaozi with minced meat? Help the suspect move the gas tank? How come I have no memory at all?

"Captain, I'm trying to find out where the suspect is going. They fled to the west. "

Just talking about this, I felt something between my teeth and hooked it out with my tongue. Actually, it's shredded pork

"Finished finished, this time is folded ..."

My legs began to shake, and the captain's little eyes focused sharply, and I saw it at once.

"Stone, what are you shaking? Did you let them go? "

"No ... no, captain, you really hurt your self-esteem. How do you say this? I also measure the police ... "

I said and swallowed the shredded pork, and there was an earth-shattering sound in my throat. This leg is shaking even more.

"What did you just swallow? Spit it out for me! "

"Chewing gum, I swallow it when I'm nervous ..."

The captain looked suspicious, so I held out two fingers and swore an oath.

"I swear in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit ..."

"Save it, you also swear, which day can't afford to seven back to eight ..."

The captain turned around, and the street was already full of traffic, and it was getting dark.

I was surprised, because I clearly remember it was exactly four o'clock. How can it be dark? When the wrist shakes and the watch flashes, it's already seven ten.

I lost it for three hours! When I got home at night, I kicked off my shoes and threw myself on the bed. My mind is still full of what happened during the day. Strange, how could I lose three hours for no reason? My neck hurts like it's going to break, which makes me feel like I've been doing manual labor all day.

It suddenly occurred to me that Chen Wu said that I helped the couple move gas tanks. Maybe it's true.

Outside the window, several children downstairs are playing, fighting and quarreling badly. I wanted to get up and yell at them at the window, but suddenly I found myself unable to move. I can feel my presence, but my limbs don't need any strength, they can only tremble slightly.

I had a nightmare as soon as I lay down? Unlikely, right?

The sound of children playing outside faded away, and the curtains rattled in the open space. I don't even have the strength to swallow the saliva in my mouth. I'm drowning in my own saliva. This is probably the worst thing. I tried to stay awake and opened my eyes a little. Even if you die, you have to die. Although I usually look down on people with ulterior motives, all I want is to open my eyes, even if I can see the world for the last time.

However, the door was opened silently. What do I see? I can't believe a man walked in. I knew it. How could a smart SHEN WOO policeman like me be drowned by spitting? I'm poisoned. This will be a murder that shocked the world. Shi, a good policeman in the public security system and a good son of the people, was poisoned by an unidentified gangster ... I am very wronged!

"wake up! Wake up! Be careful to drool and drown! "

Someone patted my face. I suddenly sat up and opened my eyes. There is no one in the dark room.

This is an illusion.

But this voice, but unusually false echo in the ear. I feel that I have forgotten something very important, but what can it be?

Turn on the light and wash. It's 11: 40 at night. It's time for bed.

The sudden ringing of the telephone made my heart beat faster. Answer, many girls.

"Hey, I said what's wrong with you? Will you come tonight? "

Many girls' voices are extremely ambiguous, as if I were having an affair with her. I'm not that tasteless, am I?

"I'm too tired to walk."

I said wearily. Many girls got angry at once.

"I tell you the name of the shit! If you dare not come today, I will hang their heads at your door! "

"Head?"

I had a cold war and suddenly woke up.

When I went to my aunt's house, it was just twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, and the devil appeared.

"What are you doing outside? Waiting for someone? "

"No, who are you waiting for here?"

Many girls set up meat stalls during the day, but at night they help her mother make paper men. Her mother is engaged in funeral industry. Because she didn't want her daughter to get married, she made many girls switch to selling meat. And I am an old neighbor of their family and have lived in a yard for seventeen or eighteen years.

"I say you ah, how strange today? If you are really uncomfortable, go back. I will do it alone. "

They called me here and said it again. After all, I studied psychology. Of course, I understand that she insisted that I stay.

"It's okay, anyway, I'm here to give you a blind date. I am a policeman, I am upright, and ghosts and gods do not invade. "

I sat down and helped many girls paste a paper Mercedes. These days, old people are unfilial when they are alive, but they get these useless things after they die. I really don't know who to show it to.

"By the way, what's wrong with you during the day? Help those two zongzi sellers do this and that. Didn't you tell me yesterday that you would spy on them? Still have a crush on that woman? "

Many girls' eyes suddenly became fierce, but I turned a blind eye and only thought about what she said. Did I really help the suspect? And let them go? Am I hypnotized or something? It suddenly occurred to me that I was in the downwind when I was in ambush, smelling zongzi all day. Did they put medicine in the spices? I immediately thought of Datura, whose burning roots can make people hallucinate. I can't help you. I thought of a breakthrough in this case. I will help you tomorrow night. I'm leaving! "

I got up and left. Many girls reached out to catch me through a paper villa, but they didn't catch me and watched me run away.

Suddenly I feel sorry for many girls, and my heart is so painful.

There is no one in the vegetable market in the middle of the night. The pile of vegetables tied with canvas looks like a tent with lights off. I was sneaking around inside, feeling like a night warrior.

Wan Jiale's door, I searched carefully, and finally I found a clue. In the cracks on the ground, I dug out a piece of dry seasoning and put it under my nose to smell. That kind of extraordinary fragrance is just like what is written in the textbook. It's Datura!

"No.3 Dongchun Lane, remember to come!"

This sentence suddenly sounded in my ear, and I turned around in horror. I'm the only one in the whole market, but there seem to be countless gangsters hiding behind those dishes. I rubbed my wet hands and stood up calmly.

I finally remembered that I did help the suspects during the day, and they also left a temporary address.

"No.3 Dongchun Lane? This time, the first class can't run away. " "There you are. Please sit down, we'll be ready in a minute. "

In the small courtyard at No.3 Dongchun Lane, the couple who make zongzi during the day are really there. I sat on a bench against the wall with a pistol in my hand and my hand was a little shaky. I really shouldn't pretend to be a lonely hero. It's not too late to rush in when the captain and everyone arrive.

Although I really want to tell the couple that I have never been here, as a man and a policeman, I can't escape.

"Are you waiting for someone?" The man had a friendly smile, and he looked at me kindly. I really can't connect him with the murderer.

"Ahem, what did you do with me? I am naturally waiting for someone. "

The woman also stopped, rolled some flour on the kneaded noodles and put it aside. She raised her head, pulled down the straight hair behind her ears, and inadvertently stuck some snow-white flour on it. It didn't look ugly, but it was more charming.

I was in a daze and felt a loud voice in my throat. This is embarrassing. However, the woman just smiled and gave me a look, and her lips moved slightly, like kissing. My eyes were attracted by her every move, followed her to a nearby pot, and then followed her delicate jade finger to see her take out a head from the pot and put it on the chopping board.

Oh, my God, a half-baked head! !

I immediately jumped up instinctively, pointed an old gun at them and kept moving.

"Surprised? Your captain came much earlier than you! "

The woman smiled charmingly, her eyes sparkled and her head turned to me. Although cooking your face is a bit strange, the mole in the lower left corner of your mouth will not change.

Oh, my God, it's the captain! !

"You see, the bad guys have done many bad things, so someone should punish them. We are the punishers. "

The words came out of that woman's mouth as if they were taken for granted.

But my legs kept shaking, and the captain had cooked it. What is impossible in this world?

"I ... I'm a policeman ... policeman, raise ... you ... your hand."

I haven't stuttered for many years, but I didn't expect to stutter again today.

"Have you been a policeman for a long time? Have you ever thought about killing people? There must be, right? We used to be policemen, but all we could see was darkness. Bad guys run amok, good people die unjustly. Who cares? Just like this man, he forced a good woman to sell and even kidnapped her. Just because he is wearing a police uniform, nobody cares. So he deserves to die! "

A woman's charming eyes suddenly become fierce. She picked up a sharp kitchen knife and chopped it off. The captain's head was suddenly cut off by half of his face. The flesh and blood separated, revealing two gold teeth embedded in the bone.

I stepped back and leaned against the wall. Suddenly, I felt something explode in my stomach. In the evening, I ate half, digested half of the food, and sprayed it out of my mouth like turbid water. I've been throwing up. I've been throwing up

"You must have thought about it? You must have seen it when you were on duty. How did they torture the girl into admitting to selling it? And last year's murder case, he sold the witness's address to the underworld for 5 thousand yuan, and all the witnesses were killed. Have you no doubt? "

I straightened up against the wall and saw the man fish a head out of another pot.

God, how many people did they kill?

Tears covered my eyes. I blinked desperately, trying to tell. I always feel that I know each other. When the man put his head back in place, I finally saw clearly that his right ear was missing half. It was Chen Wu, the vegetable vendor!

"Look at this ugly head. It doesn't feel ugly at all. How sad! "

The man picked up a knife and split Chen Wu's ripe head in half, and the ravine of the human brain clearly appeared in front of my eyes. I can't help vomiting again.

"Hands up, I'm a policeman!"

I said every word, but they didn't mind my actions and did things themselves.

"His name is Chen Wu? It was he who bought the abducted woman as his wife, abused the poor woman every night, and then sold it after she could not work in the fields. People like this should have died a long time ago. Don't you think so? "

"Hands up, I'm a policeman!"

I stress again that they still don't care, and even start making steamed buns and zongzi. I watched with trembling lips as the man fished out the soaked glutinous rice and added it to the bamboo leaves. Then gouge out a piece of meat or a spoonful of brains from Chen Wu's head and stuff it into glutinous rice. Then he added a spoonful of glutinous rice, wrapped it, tied it with reed rope and threw it into the pot. His casual remark made my legs tremble.

"Hands up, I am a policeman ..."

I don't know why, my confidence is getting weaker and weaker, my hands are sweaty and I can't hold the gun.

"In fact, you deserve to die!"

That charming woman suddenly stared at me, and my eyes dared not look at her again.

"You can watch them do evil and tolerate immoral things happening under their noses! So you deserve to die! "

She came out with a knife, and the gun I put down immediately rose again. But at present, some scenes have happened, the old lady is crying on the roadside, the female students are forced, and the petitioners are waiting for an unknown fate in the office. I can watch them in hot water. Is this the good policeman I vowed to be when I was at the police academy?

She's right, I deserve to die!

"Don't touch him!"

Many girls suddenly appeared in front of me, and she blocked the woman's way with open arms. Her back looks very high, like a mountain.

"Well, one more, or another pot."

The woman's gloomy words woke me up at once. I am a policeman. I want to protect people's safety, not let people protect me.

"Even if I die, it's not up to you!"

As soon as I finished speaking, I realized that it was unnecessary. All men and women were killed in front of me, and many girls have fallen at my feet. The bright kitchen knife chopped down like a meteor, and there was nowhere to escape in both directions. I shouted, closed my eyes and pulled the trigger, and the gunshots kept ringing until all the bullets were finished.

……

"Next, Comrade Shi, the investigator of the 6.22 major case, took the stage to speak!"

The applause thundered, and I floated to the podium. So many pairs of eyes staring at me, I was so excited that I forgot all the words I recited last night. They stared at me, and I stared at them, dead silence. The leader whispered to me that there was a spare speech on the desk, but my eyes were full of fake pictures, half-cooked heads and crazy punishers. But why is this? Does justice have to be done like this? Or is it that all justice will eventually be abnormal?

"Ahem, comrade Shi has just experienced a life-and-death test. He lost a good comrade-in-arms, so his mood has not recovered. Let's give him some applause to encourage him! "

The audience applauded again, but it sounded so fake to me. Only the killer couple's dying words echoed in my mind, so after the applause stopped, I loudly said to hundreds of policemen in the audience:

"You see, things are actually very simple. As long as you shoot, all evil will end. This is justice! "

The audience was silent and the leader looked gloomy. I stood up, walked off the podium, looked through countless eyes, walked out of the venue and walked into the outside world.

Yes, I'm free.

Happy 8