Can anyone come up with some fresher jokes? It's better to make it up yourself

Once upon a time, there was a horse! It fell into the sea while running.

So, it turned into a "seahorse"!

Another horse friend of this horse went to find the horse that fell into the sea, but ended up falling into the river. Later, he

became a "hippo".

The third horse is a white horse. In order to find two missing friends, it came to the city with chaotic traffic.

It was run over by several cars in succession, causing several black stripes to appear on its body.

As a result, it turned into a "zebra"!

In order to find the companions of the first three, the fourth horse came to a factory one day and was transformed into an "iron horse".

But later, those horses still couldn't escape the fate of being eaten, and they were all turned into "shaqi horses". A world without horses...

Then, after seeing this joke, a group of people couldn't help but say: "Horses are so cold."

Finally, in order to commemorate this joke, someone compiled it into a lesson. We called it "Marseille Lesson"!

52. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. ．

He kept crying and crying. ． ． ．

I was very sad and kept crying. ． ．

Result. ． ．

Him. ． ．

Send. ． ．

Bud. ． ．

Got it. ． ．

53. One day, a black poop saw a white poop.

The black poop asked: Why are you so white and beautiful?

Bai Shi was very angry after hearing this!

He said: I am not a poop! I am ice cream!!!

54. A cat discovered a mouse...

So a hungry tiger rushed towards the mouse to eat him

But then the cat was eaten by this mouse...

Why

Because

Tigers and mice are stupid and can’t tell the difference

55. A software company is recruiting

On this day, a dog came to apply for a job. The supervisor felt very depressed and wanted to drive the dog out. The dog took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a few words neatly: Please don't discriminate against animals.

The steward knew that this was no ordinary dog, and out of curiosity, he decided to give it a try.

The general manager came up with the application conditions, which read: 1. Must be able to type. 2. Must be able to program. 3. Proficient in at least one foreign language

.

So the dog came to the computer, typed an article very skillfully, and wrote a very complicated program. Then

came to the supervisor and said to the supervisor: Meow! !

56. The toothpaste girl is always in a hurry

One moment she is dating the soft-bristle toothbrush guy

The other moment she is dating the electric toothbrush guy

A new neighbor came today

Toothpaste girl: "Wow, you are so tall and stylish~ What is your name~ Come on a date with me~"

The new neighbor is cool Cool said: "No! Because I am a comb~"

57. One day the animals smelled a bad smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said: "I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow."

The cow said: "I eat grass and I will not fart so smelly." "

The pig said: "Those who fart will definitely blush." ??

Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away and said, "How many times have I told you that I am blushing? Innate.

”

58. He was not a romantic person to begin with,

Ever since he knew that she liked roses and there was a place where she could cut them by herself,

After buying cheap and beautiful self-service roses,

Occasionally, I would deliberately buy eleven roses for her.

She was happy to receive the flowers from him. There was always a look of doubt in her expression.

It wasn’t until one day that she saw the flower numbers represented by the number of flowers in a book that she realized that it was not necessary to send flowers. The number of pairs,

Moreover, the representative flower language of eleven roses is really touching!

But she still hoped to hear him say it himself.

When she asked her what the eleven roses represented,

he could only say Able to hesitate.

He hurried to ask the flower farmer the flower language of the eleven roses.

The flower farmer said: After growing flowers for thirty years, I have never heard the language of flowers!

I often hear men who come to buy flowers say sweet words to women.

Then why do you sell eleven flowers in each handful?

He asked doubtfully, and the flower farmer said:

Because...

Buy ten and get one free~

60. Xiao Ming owes 200,000 from the underground bank,

Xiao Ming begged him to give in a few more days,

The banker said: "You must pay it back tomorrow, otherwise... chop off 2 fingers. ;The day after tomorrow..., I’m chopping 4 pieces

; the third day..."

Xiao Ming: "Don’t you need to pay it back?"

From the bank Person: "NO, then you will become Tinker Bell."

61. The sister carried the doll on her back

and walked to the garden to look at the flowers

Doll Cry and call mom

The birds in the tree laugh haha...

This is actually a very KB children's song... and the scariest thing is its origin, because there is a person behind this song Little-known story

…

This "sister" was originally named "Kitamura Tamakami" and was the daughter of a general's wife.

His appearance has changed since he was a child, and he has become even uglier as he gets older.

Because of this, her father never saw her, and Tamako never had any feelings for her father...

Because of this, Tamakami didn't want to see anyone, and became increasingly closed-off. Even his mother and sister did not dare to get close to her...

Simply because at that time they regarded ugliness as a contagious plague.

The only thing that can accompany Yushang is the doll that always smiles like this. No matter morning or night, Yushang hugs it

...

The sad Yushang finally hanged himself in his room at the age of fifteen and was about to live in his prime, out of self-sorrow and world-weariness...

And because of Yuzi She has been closed off since childhood, and no one will enter her room at all.

In this way, it was not until the corpse's hair grew from the waist to the floor, and the clothes changed from white to dark red, that his mother discovered...

My mother burst into tears when she saw this. After the funeral, my mother could never forget the scene at that time. She took everything into account

It was her fault for preferring her second daughter.

In this way, the mother became weaker and weaker with grief, and finally died of depression at the age of 30.

Before leaving, she still held the baby, as if she thought she would follow her daughter. Went together...

Things gradually became dull after the death of mother and daughter.

But there is always a faint sound when the crow crows at night...!

"Mom! I'm so lonely" ~ "Mom! Why don't you always stay with me?"

The place where the sound came out was that their mother and daughter had hanged themselves. place.

The only thing that belonged to them in the house was the doll with a white face and a smile!

In order to calm people's fears, the general sent carvers to carve the doll's face into a cat's face (cats are the mascot in Japan).

But in order to stop it from making sounds ( This was originally due to the general's own fear of the guilt of his side wife's daughter), the general

ordered people not to carve a mouth on the cat's face

In this way, the doll was placed in the department room After more than a hundred years...

And in the series of wars that followed the seclusion policy, the Kitamura family was massacred, and of course everything was robbed of them.

Everything,

In this way, as an antique in the eyes of foreigners, the doll was sold to various places

Finally, in the past hundred years, the doll was made public to the world, but the story is still little known

Because the doll’s appearance is pleasing to the eye, there are many kinds of dolls and they are sold all over the world.

But ordinary people collect it just because of its pleasing appearance.

You must have seen the doll with such a sad story. It is the white-faced cat that was originally human...

↓↓↓↓↓(Please scroll to the end)

Hello Kitty!

62. The story took place in China a long time ago.

Good friends went home together after playing a guessing game of scissors, rock, and paper all afternoon.

, walking...

Shitou noticed an oil lamp dropped on the side of the road, which was similar to Aladdin's magic lamp.

He picked it up curiously and brushed off the oil lamp on it. Dust

Suddenly white smoke came out of the bottle of the magic lamp

A... dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke.

But the dragon was dry Baba, a little malnourished

He said: "Who let me out?" Weakly

Shitou said: It was me, I let you out

Shenlong: "Oh...ahem...Then I can give you a wish..."

Shitou: "Ah...only one, isn't there three?"

Shenlong : "I'm sorry...because I'm a half-hearted dragon...if you don't want to, just pull me down..."

Shitou: "Okay...then...can you defecate the three of us into adults? We are tired of living together. It’s time to play guessing every day

”

Shenlong: “Oh... I’ll give it a try... but maybe only one can succeed... because I’m a half-hearted Shenlong...”

Shenlong coughed a few times and spat on the three of them respectively

The three of them were gradually enveloped in white smoke, and Shenlong also gradually disappeared in the Three-Character Sutra

Wait until the white smoke dissipates...

Stone is still stone, scissors are still scissors, only cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into a human!

When one family was happy and two were sad,

Someone happened to be passing by and saw this scene,

so he recorded it,

p>

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

…………….

The cloth was successful and became a human being.

This statement then spread to later generations and was also included in Chinese teaching materials.

63. An old man in the family passed away.

Because a public sacrifice was required, the body was frozen with ice.

He would be invited out when the public sacrifice was held.

It happened to be very hot at that time,

There were water droplets after thawing on the body,

When my grandson saw it, he was very nervous. Shouted:

"Grandma, grandma... Grandpa is sweating..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh... Grandpa died for the first time. , I’m so nervous!”

64. A man met God one day..

God suddenly became kind and planned to give that person a wish…

God asked...

Do you have any wishes...

The man thought about it...

I heard that cats have 9 lives...

Then please give me 9 lives...

God said...

Your wish comes true...

One day, that person I am bored with my free time...

I want to just die...

I have 9 lives anyway.

Just lie on the railroad tracks...

As a result, a train passed by...

The man was still dead...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 carriages...