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Humorous jokes
2. Just looking through my son's homework, there is a topic that requires "making sentences while ...". He wrote: A man and a woman are fighting, and I don't know who to help, because one side is my father and the other is my mother. ...
3. Accompany my wife back to her mother's house. As soon as I entered the door, I heard her mother-in-law teaching her sister-in-law: "Can you have a snack when the boss is not young? Don't you usually eat? Huh? Other girls are afraid of choking on water when they go on blind dates. When they eat two dishes, they say they are full. What about you? Come back to eat Jianweixiaoshi tablets. "
4. "I sold the house!" "How short of money are you? This house is also for sale. Are you going to rent a house? " "There are nine sets left." "Excuse me ..."
Everyone loves you, flowers bloom and fall, and when they see it, the coffin opens.
6. I have been in contact with people for a long time, and I like dogs more and more. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people.
7. You have to suffer to drive a Land Rover. If you don't work hard, you can only drive Li Xia.
8. There are a pair of lovely twin sons at home, but they are usually naughty, and kindergarten teachers have a headache. When I came back from school today, my husband asked them what they learned at school today. Only Nuo Nuo is silent, but the second one is quite active: "Dad, we have an imitation class today." Husband asked what you two imitated? I saw the second child giggling: "The teacher asked me and my brother to stand at the door of the classroom and imitate the two door gods."
9. I am very happy to finally end my one-year single life and welcome a new self!
10. My wife and I cook at home. I finished eating first. I said, "You can do the dishes later! Wife: "The way you talk to yourself is really funny!" " "I ...
The advantage of schizophrenia is that someone can discuss things together.
12. Every time I walk alone at night, I'm so scared. It's so dark and I'm so beautiful. I'm afraid others can't see me.
13. Time tells me that the era of unreasonable troubles is over, and it's time to install!
14. There are three things that young people can't touch nowadays: idolization, staying up late and the glory of the king. The more you get in touch with them, the more you will find it really interesting to be single!
15. If you send the data of the national divorce rate of 38% to your parents, they will not urge you to get married, but will say to you, "Since you can leave at any time if you are unhappy, what are you afraid of?"
16. I went out with my friends, but I was trapped in a temple halfway up the mountain by heavy rain. Fortunately, the abbot kindly took us in. Knowing that my friend has a cheap mouth, I reminded him: "Never mention the words baldy and comb in front of the abbot." My friend nodded at me and said to the abbot, "Master abbot, look, we are all soaked. Do you have a hair dryer here? "
17. On the way home, I saw a little girl desperately pulling a drunk and shouting, "Dad, Dad, don't go home and fight with mom." I thought to myself, what a sensible child! This man is really an asshole. Then the child said, "Did you forget that mom and grandparents hit you last time?" I obviously felt the drunk shaking. ...
18. Sit on the sofa in front of the TV and talk to dad: Dad, if I give you some money, what will you do with it? Dad looked at me disdainfully and said that private money was immoral. A family and a couple should be honest with each other. Besides, your mother doesn't restrict me from using money! In fact, I will also take money to buy your mother something she likes! Then I saw my mother's satisfied smile reflected on the TV in front of us!
19. In winter, it's the takeaway brother who gives you food, the comedian who makes you laugh, and the network car that picks you up in the southeast and northwest, just like this, for a lifetime! Enough money!
20. The 10,000-hour law: If you spend 10,000 hours on the same thing, you will become an expert on that thing. However, I have slept for tens of thousands of hours since I was a child, but it is more and more difficult to fall asleep.
2 1. "I'll pay you back in a few days." "You haven't borrowed money from me?" "You lend it to me now and I'll pay you back in a few days?"
22. I talked about an object before. Because I love playing games, I often give him the cold shoulder. After many unsuccessful negotiations with me, he resolutely broke up. I will always regret it when I think about it, so I advise you not to find someone easily, which really affects the mood of playing games.
23. Seeing more relatives at home, my daughter will get angry at dinner at night: You two are so good at acting! My father's relatives praised my mother, and my mother's relatives praised my father, just like a model couple. I just want to ask, why do you both want me to wash dishes when there are no guests at home?
24. Today, a classmate wanted to take a day off and said that Grandpa Wang next door was dying, so I asked: What does this have to do with you? He said: I don't know, my grandmother asked me and my father to die for him!
25. If there is an afterlife, I was born on National Day and died in Tomb-Sweeping Day. When I was born, the whole world was celebrating. When I died, the whole world was sad.
26. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in too many chefs for more than 20 years!
27. "Shanghai housing prices are too expensive." "Then why not go back to your hometown?" "My hometown is Beijing."
28. Classmates and girlfriends have a good relationship and often show love. Later, he was imprisoned for committing a crime. Facing his girlfriend who cried into tears, he pretended to be calm and said, "Don't wait for me, find a good man to marry!" " "A few years later, my classmate was released and went home. Seeing his girlfriend cooking at home, he was so moved that he couldn't speak. " Son, what are you still doing? Call mom. "His father reminded me. ...
29. If you like someone, you have to confess. If you are not rejected, you really think you are a fairy.
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