Super invincible cold joke

Although cold jokes were born from failed jokes, they are more popular now. Now, I have compiled a super invincible cold joke for you. Let's laugh together.

Super invincible cold joke one

1, the bus is very crowded, with a thin man and a fat man standing.

The thin man said that it is not easy to wait for an empty seat. ?

The fat man said:? You are better! Like me, I have to wait until there are two empty seats! ?

A handsome boy in the dormitory just learned to play the violin. Does it sound like scraping the bottom of a pot with your nails?

One afternoon, while he was playing the violin, the door was suddenly pushed open, and the aunt who checked the safety and hygiene came in and said seriously, Who is washing the pot? I wonder if electric cookers are not allowed in the dormitory? ! ?

One day, you took tomatoes, watermelons and strawberries to the street. At the crossroads, tomatoes were run over by a car. You say? Hahaha! Tomato sauce! ?

At another intersection, the watermelon was hit. You said: ha ha ha! Watermelon juice! ?

At the third intersection, you were knocked down by a car. Strawberry said. Hahaha! Scum! ?

One day, the school invited parents to visit the school. In the first class in the morning, the students greeted the teacher and said: Good morning, teacher. ?

The teacher thought that students should also say hello to the parents present, so he said, There are parents?

Before the students could react, the parents stood up together and said, Good morning, teacher. ?

A boy bought a piece of bread with two yuan in the bakery. He felt that this piece of bread was much smaller than usual, so he said to the baker. This bread is much smaller than usual.

? Oh, that's all right. ? The baker replied? If it is smaller, you will carry it more easily. ?

After listening, the boy put fifty cents on the counter and was about to walk out of the shop. The baker stopped him: hey, you don't have enough money to buy bread! ? Oh, that's all right. ?

The boy said politely, "Less makes it easier for you to count." . ?

Super invincible cold joke 2

1, there is a good girl in the company, lively and cheerful, warm and generous, but a little fat, and she has never found a boyfriend.

On this day, the accounting aunt of Love Latin Media said that she would introduce her to an object.

She said with confidence. Will that work? I am so fat?

Aunt accounting said:? What's wrong with being fat You have good skin, white and lazy, like a watery radish! The object I found for you is also in good condition, but it is a good radish pit! I arranged for you to meet tonight. ?

When I went to work the next day, the accountant asked, Girl, what's the matter?

She shook her head. No chance! ?

Accounting:? No way! You don't like it

She said angrily. No, people don't like me and call me a radish. It's obviously a melon! ! ! ?

My cousin is almost 30 years old and hasn't found a date yet. He is handsome and has a good job, but he is a slow-witted person. No matter what he does, he is very slow, especially slow.

On this day, I will introduce a girl to him and ask him out for dinner.

I saw him pacing slowly, taking out a tissue from his pocket, carefully wiping the stool, sitting down, looking up at me, and slowly saying, Sister, are you early?

I said grumpily:? Can't you change your temper and keep muddling along like this? When can you find a wife?

Hearing this, my cousin pushed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, took a sip of tea and said slowly, Sister, don't you think I am particularly stable?

My cousin is almost 30 years old, and she doesn't intend to find someone. The whole family is worried about her. That day, someone finally introduced her to a young man.

Before the date, she hid in the house and dressed up for a long time. After coming out, she went over and asked me, is my makeup okay?

I said:? Nothing else, but the lipstick is too heavy and too bright! ?

Cousin quickly looked in the mirror and said, does it make people feel afraid to approach?

I said:? Not afraid of intimacy, but afraid of kissing.

4. The son said:? Many people have published books now. Can you publish one, too?

I shook my head and said, your father and I have nothing. Ink? I'm afraid it's not easy ?

My husband said to me mysteriously:? Why did you say we didn't? Ink? A few years ago, we jointly published a book! ?

The son was surprised: Do you still publish books together?

The husband said in a daze:? We jointly announced the marriage certificate! ?

My son often hears stories of cheaters cheating others. Suddenly one day, he thought that his mother was also a credulous person, so he told her something that was cheated by others, and then said: Mom, I'd better keep all my passbook at home. ?

Unexpectedly, his mother stared at him for a long time, and her mouth curled like this: What's the difference between giving you money and being cheated?

6. The family loves playing mahjong. Even children who are still in primary school are addicted to playing.

One day, the child's father updated the lighting circuit and needed four pairs of holes, three pairs of holes and two pairs of hole porcelain connectors. He told his son to buy it for him. After talking for a long time, my son didn't know what he wanted.

His mother said impatiently: Look at your verbosity! Is it not eight cakes, six cakes and four cakes?

My son bought it back accurately in a short time.

7. the son asked: Why did the painter write his name at the bottom of the painting?

Father:? That's to let people know where the painting is! ?

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