Who will have some jokes when depressed and stressed? It better be inspirational. Thank God for his help.

Dali bought a parrot and couldn't wait to make the bird talk as soon as he entered the house. "Yours, talk?" Da Li stretched out her neck to tease. The parrot didn't respond. "Yours can talk, and it is rare." Da Li picked up the bug and lured him. The parrot still doesn't respond. "Yours, don't talk and go to hell!" Da Li threatened with a sullen face. Suddenly, the parrot straightened its neck and shouted, "Down with Japanese imperialism!" "Someone has a parrot, which is very aggressive. One day, the owner put a chicken in a cage, and the parrot and the chicken fought. As a result, the chicken died, but the parrot was fine, saying, "this is too small for me!" ""After a while, the master got an eagle and put it in a cage. As a result, the eagle died, but the parrot lost all its hair. At this time, it spoke again: "Shit, I can't beat it with my arms!" " "Little X especially likes parrots. One day he went to the bird walking market and found a parrot with a price of 30,000 yuan. Curious, he asked the buyer: Why is your parrot so expensive? Buyer: My parrot is very clever! I'll say anything. Little X bought it as soon as he heard that he was so clever. He was very happy when he came home at night. Just play with this parrot. Little X said: I can learn from parrots: I can learn from parrots: I can learn from parrots: I can run parrots. There is nothing brilliant about it, but I still don't give up. Then the parrot said, I can fly. You play NB! ~ ~ ~ There is a bird lover who likes parrots very much. One day, he passed a bird shop and found a parrot being auctioned. He decided to buy it because of its beautiful fur, so he shouted, "I am willing to pay 10 dollars for this parrot!" " Then a voice answered the price: "I am willing to pay 100 dollars!" " "The bird lover didn't want to give the parrot away, so he called 150 yuan ... but another voice seemed to oppose him until the bird lover called 200 yuan ... This man was very happy to buy a parrot, but it suddenly occurred to him: I spent so much money on this parrot. If it can't talk, wouldn't I lose a lot? So he went to ask the boss, "boss ... can you talk?" Then he heard the parrot shout, "Can't talk? Who do you think called you just now and asked for 100 yuan? " A bird dealer has three parrots. A customer came to have a look, pointed to the first parrot and asked the price. "1000 yuan." The bird dealer said. The customer was surprised and said, "So expensive?" "Of course, because it can use Windows." "What about this?" The customer pointed to the second one. "2000, because LUNIX can be used." "Oh, what about the third one?" "3000。 Will it ...? " The bird dealer shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I don't know what it will be." He pointed to the first two parrots. They all call them "presidents". A man was walking in the street and saw a businessman selling parrots. Seeing that the parrot was beautiful, he asked the businessman if the parrot could talk. The businessman said, "Of course! Do not believe. You hold its right foot. " The man shook the parrot's right foot as he said. Only the parrot clearly said, "Hello! Hello! " The man was very happy. The businessman said, "Hold his left foot again." The man shook the parrot's left foot again, only to hear the parrot clearly say, "Goodbye, goodbye ..." The man was even happier. He immediately bought a parrot and went home. He touched the parrot's left foot and the parrot's right foot. The parrot obediently said, goodbye. Hello. It suddenly occurred to him: What would it say if I put its feet together? As soon as he grabbed the parrot's foot. I heard the parrot say loudly, "Kao! You want to throw me to death! " A van full of hens is driving, and the male driver of the van is holding a parrot. Suddenly, the driver found a beautiful woman waving to him and stopped the car. The driver happily gave the beautiful woman a lift in his car. The truck walked for a while, and the driver asked, "Beauty, can I kiss you?" The beauty said no; The driver asked again, "Beauty, can you hug me?" The beauty said no, and the driver said, "If you can't, go down!" Kicked the beautiful woman out of the car. The truck walked for a while, and the driver felt that it was inappropriate to treat the beautiful woman like this, so he drove back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus again. After getting on the bus, the driver did the same thing again, so he tossed it for three times in a row. When he arrived at his destination, the driver was surprised to find that his car full of chickens was almost empty! I saw his parrot mention a chicken and asked, "Do you want a kiss from a beautiful woman?" "Can a beautiful woman touch it?" When the chicken answered no, the parrot said, "Go down if you can't!" " "Then threw the chicken out of the car. Such a load of chickens was almost thrown away by a parrot like him. A man took a plane and asked the stewardess for a bottle of mineral water. He was annoyed when he heard someone shouting behind him, "Where's my XO? "If his mother doesn't come, ask his mother to smoke!" Thought: Who is so awesome? Looking back, it turned out to be a parrot. I saw the stewardess running over and said, "Sorry, I'll be right there." Sure enough, I immediately brought a bottle of XO, but the parrot shouted: "Fuck you, you are deaf, I want mineral water, fuck you!" The stewardess quickly said, "I'm sorry, I'll change it for you right away." The man thought to himself, "They are afraid of being cross, so they stood up and shouted to the stewardess," Fuck you, when the fuck will you bring me the mineral water I want and tell me to waste you! Grandma! " The stewardess said, "Please wait a moment. "After a while, the stewardess brought a big man, and the stewardess pointed," That's him! " "Big strong threw this man out of the plane. The man fell and thought, I'm not as big as a parrot, and the more I think about it, the more I rub the fire. Suddenly I saw the parrot thrown down, too. The parrot passed by and said, "You can't fly, but you are still so awesome?" There is a parrot in front of a restaurant. Every time a guest comes in, she says "welcome". A young lady thinks this parrot is very interesting. She went in, then came out and went in again. The parrot said "welcome" to her politely. She didn't want to. The parrot politely said "welcome" to her again. She was very interested and repeated it this time. The parrot was impatient and shouted to the back room, Boss, come quickly. ! ! A parrot will post in the forum, and no one will reply after posting, so he will say to his companion, Alas, people now can only read but can't reply, and it has degenerated, which is not as good as our parrot. Another parrot said: nothing, they have been smiling from ear to ear by your sticker, and they are on their way to the hospital! ! ! !