A selection of the most meaningful jokes

1, a Jewish girl took a taxi home at night, but the driver drove the car into a dark forest. The driver stopped the car, brushed the back door and began to pull down her clothes. The girl screamed loudly: "Stop! Stop! " The driver smiled and said, "Don't be nervous, dear. I just want to have some fun. It won't hurt you. " The girl shouted excitedly, "That's not what I meant! Will you stop the meter first? "

2. One afternoon, the female prisoners in the women's prison were fighting. Prison administrators can't escape punishment. Finally, the warden got angry and rushed to the microphone. Pick up the receiver and say, "You can cut cucumbers for dinner again!" " "Female prisoners stopped.

3. Once upon a time, there was a pair of leather shoes, and the two shoes loved each other. But one day, they separated. Until they meet again, one turns into yogurt, the other into capsules, and they can't be together anymore.

4. A beautiful teacher just got married in freshman year, and resumed classes within a few days. The beautiful teacher has a hoarse voice. A pair of children's shoes in the front row asked with concern, "Teacher, why is your voice hoarse?" Teacher: ". . . "

5, MM chatting at the dinner table, a beautiful woman picked up bamboo shoots and ate them, saying: I ate a bamboo in one bite! Not to be outdone, the girl next to her picked up a boiled egg and took a bite: I ate a chicken in one bite! ! At this time, the beauty on the side said coldly: I swallowed tens of millions of people in one gulp last night!

6, late at night, my husband did not return. The daughter is anxious to call her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" "

7. The child asked, "Mom, do the heart and liver have legs?" Mother replied, "silly child, how can a heart have legs?" The child said doubtfully, "Then why did Dad whisper last night, sweetheart! Stretch your legs? "

8. Is Hong Haier the son of a cow? Will Princess Iron Fan have any ulterior relationship with the old gentleman? The banana fan was picked by Taishang Laojun, but it was in the hands of Princess Iron Fan. Cows don't understand samadhi, but Hong Haier was born with it. . . What a fucking idea! Wu Cheng'en played a big game of chess? !

9. Chat with friends today! I asked him, "Will you accept a woman who is not a virgin as a wife?" He replied: "second-hand houses can be bought, but if someone dies, that's another matter!" " I was silent 10 seconds and then sprayed. It's so fucking meaningful! !

10, in the game of truth, everyone asked him, "How many times do you have a night at most?" He blushed and whispered, "Seven times …" Everyone called him "Jiro for one night", gossiping about which woman was so happy. Suddenly a deep male voice in the corner said, "Didn't you pass out last time?" Turned out to be false ... "The noise came to an abrupt end.

1 1. I went to my girlfriend's and she stayed at home with me in the afternoon. Saying goodbye is better than getting married, so … I call it hard work. Afterwards, I asked her how she was, and she said, "Of course, I was at least the third among the heroes of Water Margin 108." I was grateful, so I ordered the bag she wanted online.

12, "I am your primary school classmate, do you still remember me?" Which one? I don't remember. ""The one who won the first prize in the city composition contest in the third grade ""I don't remember much. " "I won the first prize in the Olympic Mathematics Competition in the fifth grade." "I still don't remember." "I lifted my teacher's skirt in the sixth grade." "oh! It's you! "

13, there is a parrot hanging in front of the pet shop. A fat woman passed by and looked at it. The parrot said, "You are really awkward." The woman ignored her. The next day, the woman passed by on purpose, and the parrot said, "You are really awkward." The woman was very angry and went to the shopkeeper, who promised that it wouldn't happen again. On the third day, the woman passed by again. The parrot looked at the woman and said, "You know what I want to say!" " "

14. The boss wants to hire a bodyguard recently. The secretary said, "I have a friend who just retired from the army. He's nice, but he's a little stiff. " The boss said disdainfully, "I have been in the army for so many years." Tell him to come with me at night! " "The next day, as soon as the secretary went to work, she heard the boss get angry in the office:" Who the fuck said he was stingy? " ! Who the fuck said he was nervous? ! !

15, "Grandpa, you have been married for 60 years, and you still call your wife dear. What is the secret of loving each other for so many years? " "No way, I forgot my wife's name 20 years ago and didn't dare to ask her. I can only call it that. "

16, I saw a dress in Taobao today, and there were two comments, one was moderate and the other was favorable. The content of the evaluation is: different from the picture, with color difference, it doesn't look good to wear. The content of praise is: bought for classmates. I am satisfied that he is ugly.

17, overheard a conversation between a man and a woman. Man: Wife, I just saw a good-looking woman with long legs. At first glance, she looks like a stewardess. Woman: Really? I'll give you another chance. You can say it again. Man: Oh, by the way, wife, I just met an old lady, wearing enchanting clothes and having long legs. When she saw it, she came out to live. W: Well, be careful what you say next time. ...

18, I wanted to go to the primary school campus once in junior high school, but the doorman wouldn't let me in. My best friend and I are going to get into the railing, and we are all afraid of getting stuck. At that time, I tried it first, which was very good and passed smoothly. My best friend's head is similar to mine, and everyone thinks it's definitely okay. The result! As a result, she sank in, but not the head, but the chest. Hahaha! I couldn't stand laughing at that time! Many years later, now I know I laughed too early.

19, roll call at the meeting yesterday. A colleague didn't come. The supervisor asked what was going on. Some people say that my father-in-law is ill and goes to be a chaperone. The supervisor asked him if he was not married. Colleagues replied that because they are not married, they are closer than their biological fathers!

20. Girlfriend: "If I go out in a bikini, how will everyone react?" Boyfriend: "That person will think that I am with you because of your money."

zhl20 170 1