Graduation theme series jokes

Humorous jokes can only come from people. Laughter is what people seem to hear and feel. Communication between people depends on language, and language depends on whether there is humor in language. The following is a series of 16 graduation jokes I compiled for you. I hope it will help you!

1 one night someone put a piece of cardboard in the school newsstand, which read:

There is a morning paper in the morning and an evening paper in the evening. Not without reporting. Not yet.

2. One day, a classmate was watching the news and said: The Japanese prime minister changed so quickly. Look, Shinzo Abe resigned again. ? I'm thinking, this guy must have just finished his electronic technology experiment.

3. Freshman studies mathematics. One day, A guessed a riddle for B: delta(f(e))

B thought for a long time but didn't come up with it, and finally let A announce the answer.

A said:? The answer is: triangle iron. ?

4. In swimming class, the teaching assistant is a female teacher of Beijing Sport University. Because I want to teach swimming, of course, I wear a swimsuit to class.

But this teaching assistant is always the last one to finish class, so we can't take a shower first.

So one day before class was over, a classmate protested and said, teaching assistant, can you stop letting us go every time someone leaves?

In fact, I feel that this sentence seems to contain some subtle ambiguity.

5. When someone takes C language, ask the teacher after class:? Teacher, do you think this C++ code I wrote is correct? The teacher looked at it and said, you can write like this, no problem. ?

At that time, I thought, damn it, that's awesome. The first semester of freshman year is coming. So everyone leaned over to look at his code and found that his code was like this:

c = 0；

c++；

6. Military training caught up with the worst time and was taken to the camp outside for training. I also caught up with a wonderful horse head like a head of state. In order to be neat, I let the girls wear two braids. Later, the girls really combed (really obedient).

Then, when waiting in line the next day, an instructor saw a girl's hairstyle and said in surprise, look, this is very interesting. There are two braids, one is big braid and the other is pigtail. ?

7. A serious electronic technology experiment teacher was late for class once. If students want to buy equipment, let the teaching assistant buy it first. The teaching assistant asked him for a dollar at random. At this time, the teacher just came back and asked his classmates: How much did you spend on this?

? One piece? The student said.

? Kneel down. ? The teacher said. I was thinking, how can I kneel? Later, I learned what he said? It is very expensive

8. Make a blackboard newspaper. A painting fell off and I taped it on; As a result, I dropped it again and put another piece of tape on it. Then I dropped it, so I added another piece of tape.

Later, a man came to read the blackboard newspaper and said, I can't see this picture clearly. ?

I said calmly, this is called third-order bar distortion. ?

9, from another old joke:

Someone just gave his girlfriend a Ferrari sports car yesterday!

B: Well, I can only give my girlfriend a Faraday capacitor.

10, participated in Mr. Wang's poetry creation class and had some unforgettable experiences. For example, once his old man wrote a couplet called:? Drizzle, Chongyang Chrysanthemum? Let the students make a couplet. I raised my hand enthusiastically, and then went to the blackboard to write down the bottom line:

? Cloudy Dragon Boat Festival fish?

1 1, the microwave teacher said: Who can give a typical example of a microwave darkroom?

A classmate said:? Microwave oven. ? Nima, as soon as the microwave oven is turned on, the light comes on! )

12, it was said that Cao Xi of the school heard the starling's cry and judged that the starling must have built a nest in the Rome building.

I don't understand and ask: Why?

Someone replied:? Because it sounds different from other myna, what are the names of other myna? Goo goo choo ~? What's it called? The elevator is closed! ? . ?

13, a man quoted a Song poem to describe how he found some software on the Internet: Well, is that true? The crowd searched on Baidu and suddenly got into the car, but where is the goods, Google Hong Kong? . ?

14, two students are discussing a girl. As a result, a teacher came over, so they immediately pretended to discuss academics:

A: Have you considered its three-dimensional situation?

B: Do you consider the size? Not very ideal.

15, German mathematician Gauss is a very famous genius. He began to learn the violin at the age of five, but he never played it well, just like sawing wood. Thus, there is the saying of Gaussian noise.

16, complete the setting. Two teachers in the laboratory were discussing an old professor's illness: alas, it's late. It is estimated that there is still half a month to live. ? Another teacher reluctantly shook his head and suddenly said to me:

? Hey, by the way, are you near the middle of the semester?

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