Is there anything funny that can seduce my husband and make him excited?

1, planting grass doesn't make people lie down, so plant cactus instead! 2. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it! 3. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people! It turns out that as long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate. 5, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat! 6, men fool women, called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love. 7. The government thinks about how to tax reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably! 8. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing. 9. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe, but some people see 10. How far is forever? Get out, boy! 1 1, met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation. 12, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit. 13, I want to puppy love, but it's already late ... 14, my god! My clothes have lost weight again. The important task after 15 and 80 is to manufacture 08. 16, people have plenty of backgrounds, but I only have my back ~ ~. 17, gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am. 18, reminding everyone that it is very important to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook ..... Everyone knows what happened afterwards. (Since the Edison Chen incident, I won't say much about the reasons. ) 19, I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like. 20. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story! 2 1, flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously. 23. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it. Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously. 25. Even if you believe it, there are lies hidden in the middle. 26. Real good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed. 27, no other half 100 points, only two people 50 points! 28. The people who are willing to stay and argue with you are the ones who really love you! 29. There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high. 30. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but I am poor. 3 1, only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find. 32. After seeing me, you will suddenly find-ah, handsome can be so single-minded! 33. Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said, "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! " 34. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is." . When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat. 36. People who travel all over the brothel are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao. 37. Take your advice and leave me ten books! 38 years old and 0 years old, 10 years old is improving every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall! 39. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes! 40. "Honey, I'm ... I'm pregnant for ... three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, and you're not responsible for it ..." 41. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung. 42. After reading the language of 10 years, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year. 43. Being lazy in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! After thinking for a long time, forget it, I won't take the risk ... 44. I bought a pottery jar from the Western Zhou Dynasty for 80,000 yuan, and went to the Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" This is from last week! "45. I can tolerate that my figure is fake, my face is fake, my chest is fake and my ass is fake! ! ! But I just don't tolerate money. Yes! ! ! ! 46. Scholars play dead for their confidants, while women have plastic surgery for those who please themselves. 47. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to discover that you are really ugly. 48. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female. 49. Give me a little sunshine, and I will rot. You must eat a little properly to lose weight. 5 1, shake, shake to Naihe Bridge. 52. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me! Come back quickly, I can't fool you alone! 54. Life is Song Like Zude's mouth, and you never know who will be unlucky next ~~~ 55. If you fall down, get up and cry again ~~~ 56. The world is hard to extricate itself, except for teeth, and there is love. 57. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I will never get married …" 58. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy. 59. How much sadness can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel ... 60. When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat. 6 1, if something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first, and don't blame the earth for not having gravity when you are constipated. 62. clap your head to make a decision, and clap your chest to ensure that you leave. 63, we walk too fast, the soul can't keep up with ... 64, don't be as knowledgeable as the earth people ~ ~ 65, come out to mix, the wife will change sooner or later! When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I found that the whole world couldn't save me ... 67. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my toad mother. 68. Why do you have to sleep for a long time before you die? A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver. 70. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back, I'm sorry, I was rolled away by 7 1. After you ignored me, I became a dog ~ ~! 72. The bus I caught in the morning had already left when I got to the platform. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " At this time, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing." ... 73. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a second wife the most. 74. I won't hit you. You don't know that I am both civil and military. 75. I like you so much that you will die. 76. There is a grave in my heart and a dead man is buried. 77. I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world ... 78. Either endure or be cruel. 79. Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell the scum. 80. Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds have been taken away, and those without backgrounds have been killed by a stick. 8 1. I accidentally want to grow old with you. 82. The merry-go-round is the most cruel game in the world, chasing each other, but always separated by a sad distance. 83. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny. 84. The hand that complains about time will inevitably write love as more than 85%. What do you say you are when I don't love you? 87. Love. Until it hurts 88, I'm not RMB. How can anyone like me? 89. If you are doomed not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance. 90. Our goal: earn 9 1 by looking at money. Go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles when you are in a bad mood (super right! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ) 92, you roll for me, keep rolling ... 99, 99, 99, 99. Happiness is a comparative level. You have to be confident to feel 100. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe, but few people meet 10 1. It is pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful. 102. Don't say wish me happiness after you leave. Who are you to wish me happiness? 103, there are some things that we know are wrong, but we must insist because we are unwilling; Some people, we know that we love, but have to give up because there is no ending; Sometimes, we know there is no road, but we are still moving forward because we are used to it. 104, be nice to yourself, because life is not long; Be nice to the people around you, because you may not meet them in the next life! 105, you will never see my loneliest appearance, because I am the loneliest only when you are not by my side. 106, it is said that Tianya is a stranger ~ what is Tianya? Turn around, turn your back on you, it's the end of the world ... 107, boss, first two pounds of true love, take it back and feed it to the dog! 108, life is like a coffee table. Although it is not big, it is full of tragedies. . . 109 one day, my brother went to a primary school to play basketball and heard a junior girl ask a junior boy, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me money from 3 yuan every day, of which 2.5 yuan is for you to buy snacks.". Do you think I love you or not? ! ! "1 10, USYD = U sleep till you die Unsw = U never sleep well 1 1, I went to Zhujiang Road and was accosted by three people, one was a police uncle who checked our province's license, and the other two were 65438 who sold porn in ........... Or the name of soda? (Asian soda) 1 13. Except for Loli, it's Yujie 1 14. The relationship between "going to bed early" and "getting up early" is not always one-to-one ... 1 15. We can't scold the intranet in the future, because the intranet has been renamed as "".