Funny jokes that will make you vomit blood from laughing: That’s a place where birds don’t poop.

1. Toad A was staring at the sky in a daze. Seeing this, Toad B asked A: "What are you thinking about when you are staring at the sky?" ?

Toad A sighed: ?I miss Chang'e! ?

After hearing this, Toad B laughed wildly and said: "You still think you are Bajie?" ?

Toad A explained unhappily: ?I want to taste swan meat? I want to taste goose, understand? ?

2. Sister Rose plucked her petals unhappyly, "Together, not together, together." . . ?

A friend asked her what happened?

She held her face and pouted and said: "I really like my brother who is short-lived, but." . But he seems to have thanked you a little early! ?

3. The chicken asked Brother Dog: ?Do you drink watermelon juice? ?

?Where does the watermelon juice come from in this cold winter? ?

?Oh, my aunt is here. ?

?Get out! It’s so disgusting! ?

?...Watermelons brought from greenhouses in the countryside. ?

4. Shit Kelang, aren’t you an immigrant? Why are you back? ?

?If you don’t come back, you will starve to death! ?

?How could it be like this!?

?That’s a place where birds don’t poop! ?

5. The old flea warned his descendants: ?Don’t go to sleep with women!?

?But it’s very warm there! ?

?Not even warm! If you are not careful, you will be lying in a pool of blood! ?

6. A bowl of instant noodles can also be treated in two ways in the eyes of the same person: Eat it by thin people. No wonder you are so thin. You always eat these non-nutritious things. Stop eating them. Eat them again. It's a headache; fat people eat it. If you keep eating this kind of junk food, no wonder you are so fat. Stop eating it, it will kill you to death! What a painful realization.

7. The reality is this. If you don’t work hard, you will be eliminated by society. But as long as you work hard and never give up, you will be eliminated by society in a few years.

8. Today’s Weibo is really enough, the screen is full of poor, poor, ugly, ugly, fat, lazy, lazy! Can't you say something that has nothing to do with me?

9. When a fellow villager meets a fellow villager, his eyes well up with tears. Why are his eyes filled with tears? Because the fellow villager has defrauded him of all his money.

10. Chatting with a young person in her early 20s. She felt numb to life and was very pessimistic about her life being like this.

I criticized this wrong idea. I had the same idea when I was 20 years old. It wasn’t until I was almost 30 years old that I realized that life could actually be worse. How could it be? This life is just that. Is this it? Such a good thing.

11. When I first got together with my girlfriend, she said she liked drama. I asked her what kind of drama she liked, but she refused to tell me.

Until one day I saw a photo of her without makeup and asked her if she liked Sichuan Opera. She said how did you know?

I said I’m not blind, you’re a face-changing enthusiast at first glance.

12. I asked my friend: How to tactfully call someone fat.

Friend: I only have eyes for you.

13. When will you be called handsome?

A: When shopping.

B: While eating.

C: When I stand with you.

14. I thought about it all day yesterday and finally found out that the name Chopstick Brothers has two meanings.

?

?Which two floors? ?

?First, they are both bachelors! Second, they are a couple! ?

15. A: ?If I suddenly leave one day, who will look for me all over the world? ?

B: ?Black and white are impermanent?

16. When I saw the goddess coming towards me, I made a big love gesture in the air with my hands and gave it to the goddess.

The goddess also gently spread her hands to catch it carefully, then threw it to the ground with a snap and stamped her feet hard, and finally, she stamped out the cigarette butt with the sole of her foot?