Humorous jokes about real estate

1. In order to sell the house, a real estate agent kept bragging about the building and residential area to his clients. ? What a wonderful place this is. The sun is shining, the air is fresh, and flowers and grass are everywhere. The residents here will never know what disease and death are. ?

Just then, a group of mourners came from a distance, crying all the way, and the agent immediately said, look, this poor man? He's a doctor here. He's starving. ?

Last night, my mother was sleeping when she suddenly heard an abnormal sound and woke up. It's over! It's over! Mom thinks it's either a thief or a robber! But on second thought, mom is not afraid anymore. Do you know why?

-Anyway, money is used to buy a house!

3. One day, Lao Li visited a friend's house. Seeing my friend's dog was strange, I asked. Why do other dogs always wag their tails from side to side? Why does your dog swing up and down? The friend replied:? Is this because our house is tight?

Young women in this era roughly divide men into four categories: first, they have houses, cars and no mortgages; Second, there are houses, cars and mortgages; Third, there is no house, no car and no mortgage, but there will be a house, a car and a mortgage soon, which belongs to the category of cash reserves; Fourth, there is no house, no car and no mortgage, but there will be no house, no car and no mortgage for a long time. For the first kind of man, you can talk about marriage immediately, the second and third kinds can talk about marriage after investigation, and the fourth kind can't. For those young men who have reached marriageable age, buying a house or being able to buy a house has become a prerequisite for having a relationship. Therefore, the conclusion is that marriageable young women have created a lot of market demand and promoted the rise of housing prices.

5, 20XX years. With its strong military superiority, the United States sneaked into China and went deep into Beijing. The great people of China fought back and drove American troops out of China territory.

The following are seven reasons for the failure of the analysis of the US General Staff:

(1), a map on a real estate agent's advertisement accidentally used by American scouts. For example, lishuiqiao's airborne troops fell into an ambush by China people at Beiyuan Bridge and were completely annihilated. American generals mistakenly think that Huilongguan can go to heaven in 20 minutes? Ann? The door was destroyed before it reached the light rail. American heavy bombers can't reach the Fifth Ring Road at all.

(2) In street fighting, the plan used is seriously distorted. All apartment types are so small that heavy artillery can't fit the room chosen as a fortress by the general. Afterwards, the American general lamented: The real estate developers in China are so cruel!

(3) Flying pontoon requires a lot of airplane space. Looking down, the lake in the community is in the wrong position or too small to build a pontoon bridge, and some have no lake at all.

(4) It is estimated that 99% of the damaged houses are enough for American troops to station, so there are not enough tents. Who thinks that the total area is seriously insufficient, so we have to camp, resulting in a decline in combat effectiveness?

(5) There are n standards for the height of overpasses in Beijing. A large number of military vehicles can't get through, and they are completely wiped out by the militia ambushing around.

(6) The Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. Army visited the front line to boost morale. He never imagined that the front wheel of his vehicle fell into a pit where the manhole cover was stolen while driving at high speed, causing a serious car accident and death.

(7) Only the Marine Corps entered the Second Ring Road. Unfortunately, when they went to Xizhimen, they never turned down and were captured alive by the brave citizens of the capital. The designer of Xizhimen Bridge became a patriotic hero.

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