Why do children despise a person when he is old?

Although this question is simple and short, it involves too many complaints. Every family has sutras that are difficult to recite, and everyone has a feeling of shame, endless right and wrong, endless ups and downs.

To say that children are disgusted by old people is too absolute and cannot be used to sweep everyone away. We can only say that this phenomenon exists, and is the case in some or a small number of families, but it should not be considered common. Perhaps it will take investigation and statistics to be convincing.

Calmly analyzing the reasons, I personally think there are the following reasons:

1. The old and young have different personalities, different concepts of speaking and doing things, low mutual recognition, and consensus reached through integrated communication. Difficulty will lead to resentment over time, dislike of each other, complaints every day, care about small things, and difficulty in settling big things;

2. When you are old and have no money to support your children, or you are very thrifty and stingy, so your children are full of resentment . If you don’t believe it, look at the many wealthy old people, and their children’s happy faces and smiles.

3. The elderly are old and sick, and have difficulty in food, clothing, housing and transportation, which adds burdens and difficulties to their children. As the saying goes, there is no filial son at the bedside of a long-term illness. Since ancient times, loyalty and filial piety have been in dilemma.

4. Due to physiological reasons, the elderly talk a lot and are nagging endlessly, which is definitely annoying.

5. Affected by bad habits, or the children have not been educated well since childhood, or the children are too selfish, seriously lack the heart of filial piety and respect for the elderly, and the virtue of being sensible and sensible, and are unwilling or less responsible for the obligation to support the elderly.

6. It is not ruled out that other reasons such as busy work, too much pressure in life, and heavy burdens on children may cause their temperament to change, their temper to become violent, and other reasons.

Methods to resolve this phenomenon:

It is very important for the elderly to be open-minded, think clearly, and let go. Be more considerate of your children, look for more reasons for yourself, and look for more reasons for happiness. These three are the secrets.

Decades of ups and downs in life, dusk comes to us in the blink of an eye. Right and wrong, success and failure are fleeting, but health and happiness are the most valuable. Let go of the complex and feel comfortable, and face every day with a smile.

Why do children despise people when they are old?

There was an old man who had an irresponsible husband when he was young and never took care of the house, so he had to survive with his children in that era. This mother You must be strong and be able to endure hardships that others cannot endure. This mother is also very strong. She tries to produce as much as possible at work and works overtime after get off work. Later, she is laid off and sets up a stall to support her son until he graduates from college. She also buys for her son when he gets married. In the marriage room, she helped run the family and took care of the grandson. At that time, the son admired his mother very much. However, not long after the marriage, the mother saw that her son disliked her. In fact, he was very sorry for himself. He could not achieve the hardship and ability of his mother. Strong. At that time, there was not much conflict between mother and son. More than ten years later, the son had some achievements at work. At that time, he despised his mother even more. He always compared with her. In today's era, compared with the previous generation, the mother is definitely not as good as the son, so He always said the wrong thing no matter what his mother did, and everything he said was wrong. Later, the small house was changed to a larger one. At that time, his mother left all the family affairs to him. In order to prove that he was better than his mother, he bought a house without letting her see it. He did not let his mother participate in the decoration of the house. He wanted to do something better than his own mother to prove that he was better than her. After the house was decorated, he took his mother to see the house. Of course, there were some unsatisfactory aspects. He had many reasons to move out. To prove that he was right, the luxurious decoration showed his ability. From then on, he did not take his mother seriously. It can be said that every word his mother said was wrong and every thing he did was wrong. He always had a problem. There are a lot of reasons to refute the mother, as if the mother is an idiot, a fool, and doesn't understand anything. This is because the children dislike the old people. They always say that your era was all wrong. The older the old man is, the more mistakes he makes. Everything he does is... That's right. It seems that he is omnipotent. This mother has been disliked since then. There are many videos where the daughter-in-law has a classic saying, she is smelly and dirty, he is smelly and dirty. Could it be that the old man has a lot of shit on his body? , In fact, some wives’ rooms are as dirty as a trash can. She still despises the old man for being dirty, because today’s children think that they all have the same abilities. That old man has never been younger, that old man has not been younger and beautiful, that old man has never been younger. The old man is not as wise as he was when he was young. That old man has not worked hard. Does it mean that the children of today will not be smelly and dirty in the future? Could it be that they will not lose their intelligence and become idiots? .

There are many kinds of dislike. Children do not really “dislike” their parents for getting old. But you dislike the details of life, right? For example, my siblings and I all "dislike" my mother, which refers to the things she does, not because she is old. My mother's standard of food and clothing was better than mine now.

I hope the old man will compare himself after reading this article and not imitate my mother. If any children see this article, they can send it to their parents to read. Many of it is related to communication problems and the sensitivity and worry of the elderly.

When my brother first got married, my brother and I were very kind to my mother. But my brother is away on a business trip, and my sister-in-law talks little. My mother answers every question. One time she bought some expensive fruits (because her natal family was in good condition, she usually bought expensive fruits). My sister-in-law put it in a place where fruits are placed at the door of the kitchen. My mother wouldn’t eat it unless she asked her to eat it. At first my sister-in-law remembered to eat, but then she was too busy and didn't eat. As a result, the fruit went bad. My mother was very angry and said that my sister-in-law would not eat it. Then my sister-in-law said she thought she had finished eating early, so why is there still so much? She was busy and forgot to eat. Mom can eat it at home, so how could it be spoiled?

When I went to my sister’s house , because my mother didn’t talk to my brother-in-law, so my brother-in-law didn’t talk to my mother very much. He would at most say “Mom, here we come” or “Sister, here we come” when we first arrived. There’s usually nothing to talk about, so I don’t care. My mother herself had quarreled with my brother-in-law before, and as my brother-in-law got older, I didn't care. Anyway, we were given everything to eat and drink, and we were not treated harshly.

One day, my brother-in-law and the children were making juice in the kitchen, while my mother and I were watching TV in the living room. After my brother-in-law made the juice, he took it to the room, and then my mother whispered: Look, he didn’t even call us. I said I don’t like drinking juice, I like eating fruit. He went into the study and came out soon and said: Sister, there are fruits in the kitchen. I said yes, because I don’t really like drinking apple juice, and my mother doesn’t like drinking it either. There is no kitchen. When I go to cook at night, the kitchen still has four glasses of juice, two glasses of orange juice, and two glasses of apple juice.

When my sister gave birth to a baby, two old ladies in the community who usually raised children with my mother bought two boxes of clothes. My sister’s mother-in-law makes Shaanxi whistle noodles. She also makes whistle meat, egg skin, diced tofu, minced garlic sprouts, and homemade chili noodles. In short, it is quite authentic to me, and there are quite a lot of steps. I think it is not shameful to entertain neighbors in the community during the confinement period. The two old ladies each ate a bowl and said they were full, which was quite good.

My mother said that two bowls of noodles were thin and the soup was watery. How could I eat well? Then I asked them to sit down while my mother went to Hua La Hua La to fry 6 dishes because someone told my mother that she was full and wanted to go home. My mother insisted on sitting at someone else's house. She said she cooked the food very quickly, but the fish was not cooked properly, the meat was overcooked, and the other vegetables were overcooked. Anyway, those six dishes were not my mother's. Usual level. Later, I felt embarrassed and embarrassed, so I ate a little and left, leaving some behind.

Then my mother and others were polite and persuaded me to stay, while my sister and mother-in-law cleaned up the kitchen. No one went to the room to see the baby. Even though my sister gave birth naturally, it was only the fifth day, and she said that my mother shouldn't be like this. It’s a full moon, and I have to go to the hotel to treat guests to dinner. There was too much food for a large table, and there were two old ladies waiting for two guests. The children were left unattended, and the living room was so noisy that she couldn't rest.

Then I didn’t know the specific situation, but my mother said that my sister didn’t want others to eat the sea fish, saying that when she was a child, good things in her hometown were all about hospitality. My sister said, you haven’t entertained my sister since she’s been here for a few days, so why are the two fellow villagers so polite?

My mother said that your sister is one of our own, and your fellow villagers are outsiders. As we talked, my mother scolded me for being a cow and a horse at my sister's house, and couldn't even make the decision to entertain the fellow villagers with a fish. She cried and banged her head on the door (my sister was afraid that she would go out like before and couldn't be found, so she locked the door.)

My mother always disliked my sister-in-law for eating pig's trotters and chewing off the skin. , eat steamed buns and tear off the skin. She told me many times, I said you can let your son ask her why? Is it because she is afraid that you haven't cleaned it up, or for other reasons. At worst, you can take off the skin from the pig's trotters next time, or let my brother chew it for her.

But my mother doesn’t do this and doesn’t communicate with my brother. Once, my sister-in-law said that the pig's trotters made by her mother were delicious, but she hadn't made them for a long time. My mother said sarcastically: If people don’t like food and dislike me, what else should I do?

My brother was also confused and thought he had no money.

My mother didn't tell me. Later, my brother found out from me and asked my sister-in-law. She said she was afraid that there would be too much fat in the pig's trotter skin and she would gain weight easily, because she, like her mother, has a body that is prone to obesity.

When I take care of my sister’s child, I say every day that she can move now, and I’m trying to get her. But when she gets old, she won’t be able to do it anymore, she will be useless, and there will be no one to support her. My sister said, if you don't support you when you get old, you can sue your children. Aren’t you just adding to the trouble by saying this now? Before we get old, there are not many relatives, friends and communities in our community who don’t care about our parents, right? Do you have fun like this every day?

My sister often took my mother out to eat out on weekends. My mother got angry and told relatives that my sister would not live well. My sister said that she was very nervous teaching the third year of high school, and she didn’t have time to come back to cook. She was afraid that her mother would get tired from cooking at home every day and go out for a change. Why wouldn’t she appreciate it?

I often give her too much money for fear of losing it, and then you say, I want it if I don’t have it. Give it every week, give it every month, but sometimes you forget. Every time she came back after buying something, she would tell us how much it cost, and we would say it was fine, and we would not be cheated on the side dishes or anything like that. Then I asked her if she still had money. She said: I just said that I bought something, and I am not asking you for money. We would say, it’s okay, and just say it if it’s not. Then we thought she didn't know how to talk, but she always felt that we all remembered how much she spent her money. If she was unhappy one day, she would say that we still paid for it last month. Then she bought beef several times and it was gone, and she bought chicken several times and it was gone. Then she would argue and cry.

Among my three siblings, I am the one who likes to give her money the most, because she doesn’t like things bought by others. I gave her money to buy it herself. Last year, I gave her a card with 4,000 in it, and I told her to buy whatever she wants. I gave the money to my sister for living expenses because she said it was not safe to take too much cash (she wouldn’t take more than 3,000). We had an argument before the Chinese New Year, and she said she had never seen my money. Then she threw my bank card to me and said she had not touched the money in it... On May Day after the New Year, she came to stay at her sister's house. She came to my house and gave me 600 yuan, saying that she hadn’t used up last year’s living expenses! How "incorruptible"

She always told me that she was destined to have only 8 points in life and less than 10 points in earning money (referring to wealth). I have told her not to say it since she was a child. susceptible. Then, she told my son that I am a sheep and my husband is a snake, so they are not compatible. I said that I gave her the horoscopes three months before we got married, and she did the calculations herself. After she figured it out, she said that in the future, her children will be prosperous and she will be blessed in old age. Why is she saying this now that we are quarreling? And saying this to my youngest son makes me depressed.

He also said that my brother should not find someone who was born in the year of tiger, but should find someone who was born in the year of pig. This caused my brother to first ask his zodiac sign before looking for a partner, and he was criticized by the boss (in order to retain him, the boss kept giving him gifts locally). Looking for a partner)

I have written about it before, but I don’t want to write about it anymore. It’s just that if you take it to the pedestrian street, she won’t try it when she sees the expensive one. Every time I go there I do some mental work and try what I like. It's not a luxury brand and it's not that expensive. You can bargain on the price in the pedestrian street. Every time I see one with a price tag of several hundred, I don’t try it and run away. Every time she goes shopping, she spends the first half of the time running, and the second half of the time the child is fussy. Then you tell her: If she doesn’t pick something right today, she won’t have time to come back tomorrow. Then she picks something in a hurry, and when she gets home she says she doesn’t like it.

A few years ago, my sister and I bought her a red woolen coat. She used it for my sister to wear last year. I said it looked good on her, but my sister said she got angry every time she wore it.

We were not together last year, and I asked her to go to the pedestrian street to buy some. She said she was unavailable, it was cold, and she didn’t want to go out. I bought it online and showed her the pictures. I said that there is nothing inappropriate about pants with elastic waistbands. When I bought it back, she said that the loose ones were too fat and she wanted to give them to my sister and mother-in-law. My sister was angry and said, did you throw them away? Then she said that the 198 yuan pedestrian street ones were much prettier than this one. She went to buy a pair of denim and velvet ones, but it turned out to be very cold and hard when she wore them. Later she still wore the loose ones I bought. I told her about the principle of air insulation in down jackets, but she didn't listen.

To sum up, look at my mother, how would you describe her? It’s hard to please her.

Is she very open to outsiders? Some or not, she always makes everyone unhappy.

We keep trying, but we can't find a solution to the problem. In the end, everyone "disliked" her for being "difficult to maintain". What do you think we should do?

The money I gave her saved 26,000 yuan last year, and she took care of the baby for 8 months. I gave her 16,000 yuan, and my husband gave her another 10,000 yuan, and the living expenses were additional. She saves money when given, and is reluctant to buy clothes. We were too afraid to accompany her when shopping for clothes.

My mother-in-law and my sister’s mother-in-law buy clothes for their children. As long as they fit her, she will happily wear them. Then my mother-in-law wants whatever clothes everyone buys for her, and then she brings them back and wears them for me. When I was pregnant, I always wore my mother-in-law's clothes, all without the tags removed. Because everything her children and sisters bought for her was good, even if she didn't like it, she happily accepted it. Everyone likes to buy them for her.

1. Of course, many children will be like this. Because there are some differences between two and three generations that cannot be ignored. There is a generation gap due to different concepts. If we can't talk about it together, we can't do it together.

2. The generation that has grown older now has experienced hardships when they were young and caught up with the low-wage system and the era of material scarcity. Today's young people live a different life than the previous generation. Their lifestyles are very different, and the elderly will be disgusted by them.

3. The elderly begin to age in their 70s and 80s. They suffer from deafness and dazzling, slow reaction, staggering gait, cerebellar atrophy, and Alzheimer's disease. He had to leave Luosuo to eat, do some work, and go to the toilet. He was easily bored and scolded by them.

4. When they talk, the old man can’t get in the middle of the conversation. They don’t like to listen to what the old man says. Sometimes they don’t even laugh when you tell a joke. They are very serious and serious, which makes the old man very embarrassed.

5. The elderly have retired and don’t have much pension, and not many have really high salaries. They are reluctant to eat and spend money, shop for cheap groceries, eat leftovers, are reluctant to throw away old things, and go around the streets picking up scraps. Young people are different, they are extravagant and wasteful, and they are not afraid of spending money. This creates a divergence in the consumption concepts of the two generations, making young people look down on them.

6. All kinds of diseases are coming, especially for the elderly. There is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time. How can we not get tired of it as time goes by? Young people are already under a lot of pressure from working, having small families, studying and studying in cram schools for the next generation, and car and house loans. In addition, the elderly are also struggling, making them exhausted and overwhelmed. How can they not be irritated?

7. I saw a post on the Internet about a retired old minister. One day, his children and grandchildren came to his home for a dinner. When dinner was about to begin, he had an idea and wanted to see if the children paid attention to him, so he He hid to see if anyone would look for him. As a result, no one looked for him for a long time, and then he walked out dejectedly. When he saw that everyone had finished eating, there was only leftover leftovers and he managed to take a bite.

8. There is also the fact that the old is not like the old and the young are not like the young. The old wants to stand up and show his big name. How was I doing in the past? I rely on the old and act cynical. Seven are dissatisfied and eight are not angry. I can’t see it. Some practices used by young people. Some young people really don't take the elderly seriously. They can't stand how they always talk about their bravery in the past, and they despise their behavior, especially when they are unhygienic and don't take baths or change clothes. They look like old people. They are often disgusted and sometimes scolded and impatient. . There are some who are truly perfect, but not many. The traditional Chinese virtues should still be passed on and carried forward.

Don’t nag, don’t meddle in other people’s business, especially don’t live with your children, have an independent living space, and the most important thing is financial independence. There is basically no contradiction if these points are achieved.

Being disliked may not be entirely because of old age, but may also be due to the dislike caused by the consistent behavior since childhood

When a person is old, he is disliked, mainly by the dislike of his children. , Children all know that they will have this day sooner or later, and the elderly want to have this day. What to do? That's what old people are like, they always get older. When it comes to these things, the elderly just need comfort. Unlike young people, the elderly cannot regain their strength. Moreover, at a certain time, no one can hinder their aging. People who age are different from before. Their bodies no longer obey their orders and cannot reach the level they imagined. That is a symbol of a person's old age. The whole body cannot function well. The bones and joints become stiff, which is really irresistible with old age. However, why does it happen when a person reaches this time? He becomes isolated and helpless. It seems that everything is fine, but he becomes extremely stiff when doing things. He doesn't want to Do anything...

It is normal for people to be rejected by their children when they are old! Because a person is old and no longer useful, he is not favored by his children. Every generation is like this, which is fair!

When people get old, they have to trouble their children to do this or that, taking up some of their time, consuming some of their energy, and spending some of their money.

If you are disabled and mentally ill, and your children have to be busy, carrying feces, peeing, and feeding food and water, your children will have no time to take care of their personal lives, and your small family will be a mess. What kind of work do you think this is?

Even if a person can live a normal life when he is old, he will not be welcomed by his children. People talk a lot, and they often have trouble talking to their children, and children are closer to their mobile phones than to their parents. If you can cook in the kitchen, wash and dry clothes, mop the floor, and sort out chores at home, your children will basically be indifferent to their parents' existence, other than enjoying the fruits of their parents' labor. Because young people are no longer dependent on older people to the same extent as they were when they were young. The elderly will cause a certain health burden to their children anytime and anywhere, and this is what they worry about.

Children dislike the elderly because the elderly are a drag and a burden, making their lives not easy. That's fine, if I dislike you, you will know how difficult the world is! Only by despising you can you know what it feels like to grow old. When I dislike you, you realize that no one in this world can be trusted except yourself

!

People never grow old! Old people still feel young and want to make the decision in everything. The worst thing is to make the decision for their children, so it is easy to create conflicts! Times are changing so fast, and the old man’s thoughts and ways of thinking are fixed in his own time!

As people grow old and ugly, trees grow old and rotten!

No matter who you are, you will grow old one day! As people get older, they have more gray hair, fewer teeth, and a stooped waist. Their walking is no longer stable, and their hearing and vision are no longer good! The price of everything has increased, making old people worthless! As people get older, they have an old smell about them, and it goes without saying that they have mobility issues and poor hygiene as they age!

No one wants to grow old, and everyone hopes that they will always be young, but time is not forgiving. Unknowingly, wrinkles have covered the forehead, and a crutch is accompanying the stumbling steps! The flying speed of my youth has disappeared!

Society is changing. Times are changing, and people are aging accordingly. One generation catches up with another, and life is a process of growth. What a wonderful romantic time when you are young! Nothing is more beautiful when you are old! It makes sense for the old and the children to be disgusted and just provide them with food and drink. One old person supports the ten young ones, but the ten young ones do not support the one old person!

We are all getting older, so we must maintain a good attitude. A young mind and a great body are wealth! Some people live without money and are even more disgusted by their children when they grow old!

Here’s an example! The old lady retired as a teacher and received a pension of 5,000 per month. Her daughter-in-law kept asking sweetly for the little book in her hand, and would scold her if she didn't give it. The old lady had to give her half of her pension. She was so dissatisfied that her daughter-in-law refused to give her anything more than she wanted. ! The old lady couldn't bear it and was taken home by her daughter!

Such a daughter-in-law will be worse than an old lady when she gets old!