What if adolescent children have tattoos?

The Spring Festival is coming, and the happy days are really gloomy for my cousin's family. The cause of the incident is that my cousin found that the child came back from the winter vacation and had a tattoo on her body for no reason. Cousin was very nervous about this matter and went to ask the child what was going on. There are some conflicts between words. That adolescent child is also very temperamental. Without saying a few words to her parents, she slipped out of the house directly. This made my cousin and his wife very worried and mobilized relatives and friends to find it. Finally, they found it at a classmate's house. But the child refused to go home, and it was not like staying at someone else's house during the Chinese New Year holiday, so my cousin beat the child again and dragged the child home. Everyone went home, and the children were stubborn, shutting themselves in their rooms and not seeing anyone.

"I'm to blame for being too used to him at ordinary times. Alas, I am becoming more and more disobedient. " My cousin said with a sigh. In fact, after children enter adolescence, they will indeed appear rebellious than before, and they seem to be disobedient in the eyes of their parents. But the cause of this incident is because my cousin overreacted to the child's tattoo.

Tattoos = bad teenagers?

In fact, not only cousins, but also many parents know that their children have tattoos or their children are going to get tattoos. The first reaction is: it's over! My children will become criminals. Where does this belief come from? How do we establish the equivalent belief that tattoos are equal to bad teenagers in our own heads?

First, it is inseparable from the environment in which we grew up and the education given by our parents. Because when we were young, maybe tattoos were not so common. Most people do not have tattoos. Only people in mixed society have it, and wearing a big gold chain to expose tattoos makes people feel scared. So in order to protect children, parents will tell them to stay away from such people, or tell them that good people don't get tattoos, and only bad people get tattoos.

Secondly, in some movies and TV dramas that we have been in contact with since childhood, the images of gangsters and bad guys are basically the same. There is a big gold chain around his neck, showing fierce eyes.

Third, it is possible that in our past experience, people who have really touched tattoos have a bad impression, thus strengthening the belief that tattoos are not good people.

Based on such restrictive beliefs, it is easy for us to see the world with colored glasses. Therefore, tattoos are equal to the belief of bad teenagers, which makes parents stand on the opposite side of their children at once, which in turn leads to contradictions and conflicts.

Take an open attitude towards tattoos.

Well, in fact, society has been progressing, and the whole environment is very different from the past. I remember a joke circulating on the Internet: If you accidentally enter the detention center, don't lock me up with those bosses who have dragons and tigers, because I'm afraid that the little butterfly tattooed on my body can't beat them! This joke actually reflects from one side that the meaning of tattoos is very different from the past. Many people choose tattoos for various reasons.

For example, if someone is in love, they will get a tattoo to express their feelings for each other, and if they are lovelorn, they will get another tattoo. For adolescent children, they may just suddenly want to flaunt their sense of independence, because when they enter adolescence, they will feel like adults, and their parents often treat them as children. In this case, it is very reasonable for them to express themselves as a quasi-adult with independent consciousness through tattoos. In addition, adolescent children attach great importance to peer relationship and are eager to integrate into the group. Therefore, some children may want to adapt to the small groups around them and not let themselves fall behind. Other children may encounter some things and want to strengthen their beliefs through a small tattoo.

Therefore, it is not that children who get tattoos will become bad teenagers, but there are various possible reasons. Our parents should keep an open attitude towards some new things, and grow up with this era and children.

What should I do if my child gets a tattoo?

1, express feelings and thoughts sincerely.

Just like what happened at my cousin's house. The child has been tattooed and there is a conflict. Parents are advised to apologize to their children realistically and express their inner feelings and thoughts frankly. In fact, behind my cousin's doubts about children, it is a kind of worry about children. But our parents often express their worries and worries in the wrong way. Therefore, I suggest that my cousin sincerely apologize and tell her children what she really thinks. For example, "I'm sorry mom overreacted because your tattoo scolded you." In fact, my mother is really worried about you, because in my mother's concept, tattoos are equal to bad children, so I can't think rationally in a hurry ... "

When we sincerely express our feelings and thoughts, we are more likely to get sincere responses.

2. Understand the real needs of children.

After expressing your feelings, ask your child why he wants to get a tattoo, and if something happened. To fully understand the child's needs, he may choose some behaviors that can replace the needs, not just tattoos.

3. Discuss with children.

So what if some parents' children don't have tattoos yet, but they have already revealed such thoughts? One word: talk! Ask the child why he wants a tattoo first. If it were me, I would tell the children, so what should we tattoo? Should it be permanent or semi-permanent If it's permanent, it can't be erased. The process of washing tattoos is very, very painful. What if it is semi-permanent? ...

It's important to talk to children. Because it first conveys and expresses acceptance. Only when children feel that their parents can accept his ideas will they feel that their parents are with them, not on the opposite side, so that their opinions and suggestions will be more easily listened to by them.