Advanced humorous jokes

High-level humorous short paragraphs. In daily life, we can watch more humorous jokes in our spare time, which can make us feel happy and energetic. Then I will take you to know more about the content of high-level humorous short paragraphs.

Advanced humorous short jokes 1

1. A fat man and a thin man are driving through the mountains. The car broke down and no one came to repair it until this afternoon. Two hungry people climbed two mountains and finally found a remote town. There is a small restaurant in the town, but they walked into one, came out, walked into another and came out again ... Finally, they were so hungry that the thin man begged: "Director, no invoice, no invoice!" "

Xiao Li of the hospital came to the dean with a sad face. Xiao Li said, "Dean, I want to resign. I can't stand it. "

Dean: "What's the matter, young man? You did a good job in the urine test department. Why did you resign? "

Xiao Li: "As you know, I just changed my job, and my previous professional habits made me unsuitable for a urine test!" " "

Dean: "What did you do?"

Xiao Li: "wine taster"

Dean: "Ouch ~"

3. Talk to my colleagues. The photos taken before were beautiful, but now they are getting uglier and uglier. Colleagues simply said: Now the pixels are getting higher and higher.

Water has been cut off for several days, and everyone can only use bottled water for everything. A female colleague thought bottled water was expensive and useless, and said, "I just opened a bucket to wash my face, and there was only half a bucket left!" " Another colleague said, "water is still very useful, but your face is big!" " "

5. Me: "Waiter, the steak I ordered has been over half an hour, and it's not ready yet? It's already midnight 1 1 point! "

Attendant: "Don't worry, sir. Our store is open 24 hours a day. "

I ...

I went to the bank to withdraw money. After a limited operation time, my bank card was swallowed. I was in a state of ignorance at that time. The staff told me: beauty, you can just go to the counter tomorrow ... I said: it swallowed my card and there is not much money in it. I'll wait, maybe it will dislike having no money and spit it out for me. ...

The staff said: it has a good appetite and is not picky about food. It tastes great! Don't worry, you can never eat too little meat!

7. In high school, my deskmate was a beautiful sister paper, and my hands were frostbitten and festered in winter. At that time, the school brought its own lunch box to cook and washed it after eating. I think her hands are poor. I washed her lunch boxes for two winters.

One night when she was studying by herself, she whispered in my ear, "Would you like to wash my lunch box for life?" As soon as I heard it, I got angry: "It was agreed that I would wash it in winter, you would wash it in summer, and you would wash it? Still want to lie to me to wash for a lifetime, dreaming!

8. Before Mulan joined the army for her father, she bought horses in Dongshi, saddles in Xishi, reins in Heather and whips in Beishi. Hearing this, the general asked, "Mulan, are you disguised as a man?" Mulan asked in surprise, "How does the general know?" The general said, "Men don't go to four markets in a row to buy this."

9. When I came back from the night shift and stopped at the first floor, I heard a child crying in the room, and his mother lied to him that there was a ghost outside. In the spirit of helping others, I screamed in horror and both of them cried.

10, Male A: My blood type is B, so is my wife's blood type, and I gave birth to a baby. Man b: the child won't be type 2 b.

High humor short joke 2 1

1. I opened a noodle restaurant. A college girl came to eat noodles just now. I asked her how many days off on May Day. She said there was no class yesterday, and it would take several days. Then I told her that your college life is really good! She smiled and said to me, "Do you want to try?" Can I still go to college at the age of 30?

2. A couple of young people are getting a divorce. This woman is really beautiful. The person who applied for the certificate advised them not to leave, and it took half a year to get the certificate. It is normal for young people to quarrel, and they have tried all kinds of persuasion, saying that they will never find such a beautiful daughter-in-law after they leave. Then the man said he wouldn't let me touch her after being married for half a year. Without saying anything, I stamped it directly, which is really cool!

3. I quarreled with my wife in the evening. Afterwards, the wife said, "Husband, go to sleep." I am still angry: "My husband is not here." Then my wife was so angry that I had no temper at all: "handsome boy, my husband is not here."

4. Go climbing with my sister and brother-in-law. There is a place on that mountain called Echo Wall, where many people shout. . . My sister and I both left, but my brother-in-law stopped and shouted, "Don't fucking move! Give me the money! ! ! "Suddenly everyone was quiet. . . .

A buddy lives near the company and walks to and from work every day. A few days ago, he suddenly said to his wife, I will drive to work tomorrow. His wife was surprised: changed jobs? He: No, I just can't keep up with my colleagues every day. I'm going to drive a little farther and walk to the company. . .

I bought a robber hat for my son the day before yesterday. My daughter looks interesting. After putting it on, she imitated the robber and shouted at me, "Do you want money?" Me: "Want money." My daughter turned to the piggy bank, handed me a dollar and said, "Here's the money!" " "

7. My niece came home from school pouting and said, I hate math class and physical education class. Me: I hate math. I can understand that. Why do I hate physical education class? Niece: Because physical education class always has math class!

8. The daughter asked her father, "What is the father's debt?" Dad replied: "It's the debt owed by dad, and the child will pay it back." Daughter: "So Dad, are you in debt?" Dad: "I borrowed a loan of more than one million when I bought a house." The daughter said in surprise, "Dad, let's be friends from now on."

9. Me: "Hey! I am poor recently. " Buddy: "That's impossible, the soil is too dry, and you can still drink the northwest wind!" " "

10, the bedroom is small and there is no dresser. My wife chose a jewelry box with a mirror and hid it in the shopping cart. I wanted to surprise my daughter-in-law, so I filmed it. The courier came, pretending not to know, and asked the daughter-in-law what she bought. My daughter-in-law looked at it, opened it and gave me a look. She asked me, where is the jewelry? Me. . .

the second

1, Erlang God often warns growling dogs: Never steal the moon, or there will be disaster. This aroused its curiosity, so it sneaked out to steal food while Zhenjun was away. Who knows that my stomach hurts just after taking a bite? He crawled home whining and looked at his master with tears in his eyes. Erlang said to him, if you don't listen to me, you will suffer! Excuse me: Do you know what happened after the roaring dog ate the moon? Answer: I am pregnant, because I was pregnant in October.

2. My daughter went to a small kindergarten class and was complained on the first day of school. The reason is that the whole class is crying, but she is not crying. She sat there calmly, watching the teachers coax each other, and finally calmed down. Here she comes: mom and dad don't want you! Suddenly the whole class cried again. . .

3. My nephew suddenly ran over and handed me a bag of potato chips: Auntie! This is for you to eat. My brain is running at full speed. This is cheating! Look carefully, the outer packaging is intact and airtight, and it is still within the shelf life. With his sincere eyes, no problem. Then tear it open and eat it. . . A few minutes later, he suddenly fell to the ground and shouted, snowballing: grandma! Aunt stole my last pack of snacks! My mother ran out of the kitchen: dead girl, how do you eat children's food? Why don't you go out and buy him more? Me! @#! @#

4. Enjoy the cool with my son in the yard, look up, a bright moon is high in the sky, and several white clouds float by. . . "Dad, what do you think of the moon and white clouds?" "It's the moon and white clouds. What else can it look like? " "Slice! No imagination at all! Like a soup pot of instant-boiled mutton! ! ! By the way, when will you eat the instant-boiled mutton you promised me? " Me. . .

5. I went shopping today and saw a couple. That woman is very beautiful. I sighed at the sky: "Good cabbages have been arched by pigs." The man overheard it and tried to hit me. His girlfriend pulled him and said, "Don't worry about people who are worse than pigs." Me. . .

6. Before going to bed at noon, husband: Daughter-in-law, you can sleep peacefully! I'll catch mosquitoes for you! I was moved to sleep. . . As soon as I fell asleep, I heard a loud laugh. When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was my husband. Husband: After chasing mosquitoes a few times, I suddenly felt like a pork seller.

7. After a day's leisure, I brought my dog and kitten to play together. I want to watch cats and dogs fight. My wife reached out and hit the cat on the head, so a classic line appeared. My wife said to the cat, "It's a dog."

8. Read pornographic books with classmates in class. The teacher found out and took my book. A week later, I was going to ask the teacher to return the book to me, so I bravely went to the office: "Teacher, that. . . Books. . . "teacher:" oh! Are you here to get the book? " I was ecstatic and said, "Yeah! Yeah! " Teacher: "Sorry, other teachers took it."

9. The Chinese teacher asked who let it go. "I don't know what the cold wind is, but it starts to snow for no reason." Explain? There is a saying on the street corner that "snow is good, but the wind is not serious". A whistle suddenly sounded in the classroom.

10, I: "Beauty, do you have an appointment?" Beauty: "Let me ask you a math problem. If you answer correctly, make an appointment. 3-8=? "Me:" -5 "Beauty:" You have miscalculated, so don't make an appointment. " Shit, there's a problem!