Why is the TV series "With Children" a model for parents to educate their children?

"I am taking the lead in making up nonsense now, how will I educate them in the future?"

Parents are their children's best teachers, and Xia Donghai is a true practitioner of this sentence.

As a children's screenwriter and director, Xia Donghai not only treats his work seriously and sincerely, but also adheres to his principles.

In one episode, the producer contacted the TV station for an interview in order to make profits from the TV series.

The interview questions prepared for Xia Donghai in advance exaggerated Xia Donghai’s director experience in the United States and falsely claimed that he had rejected an invitation to direct from Hollywood in the United States.

In front of the children, Xia Donghai honestly refused such exaggerated interviews from the TV station, "I have always taught them that they should be honest and honest, and they should say what they say and be what they are. If If I have to tell lies to teach, I would rather refuse. "

Education is not only about telling children verbally, but also setting an example by example. "If a child cannot be respected, how can she respect others?"

Xia Donghai always gives trust and respect to every child.

Xiaoxue is in adolescence and has her own ideas when things happen. Abnormal behaviors such as dazing at the dinner table and being in a trance aroused the concern of his family.

Liu Mei dug out photos and greeting cards from Xiaoxue's drawer, mistakenly thinking that Xiaoxue had fallen in love prematurely.

After Xia Donghai found out, he stopped this behavior, "Every child has his own little secret. Sometimes, she doesn't want others to know. If a child can't be respected, how can she respect it?" Where are others? ”

In the period of youth rebellion, children are eager to have private space and a small world of their own.

But many parents will become controlling and try to cross the privacy boundary to reveal all the secrets of their children.

In the end, it inspired children to distrust their parents and close their own thoughts and hearts even more.

As Xia Donghai said, only by respecting children can children learn to respect others.

“When encountering setbacks,

firstly, we must be calm, secondly, strong, and thirdly, united.”

Xiaoxue has excellent grades and rarely encounters setbacks in her work.

When planning a performance, Xiaoxue did not cooperate and communicate well with her classmates, and the classmates left one after another.

Xia Donghai comforted Xiaoxue in a timely manner: "When encountering setbacks, you must first be calm, secondly strong, and thirdly united. And the most important thing is to be optimistic. When you encounter something that doesn't go your way, adjust yourself first. "

When children have problems, some parents always reflexively blame their children, "Why can't they handle such a small thing well?" "Look at how the children of XXX's family don't have your problems." .

In the midst of problems, the children themselves are already anxious and blaming themselves, and parents’ questioning will only add fuel to the fire.

The key is to pay attention to the child's condition in a timely manner, channel the child's negative emotions first, and actively solve the problem.

Xia Donghai’s educational sayings are very guiding for children.

"An inch is long and a foot is short"

There are three children in the family. Xia Donghai treats each child in accordance with their aptitude and sees their strengths and weaknesses.

Treating Liu Xing like a brother, Xia Donghai knows how to appreciate the bright spots in this "naughty" person.

Liu Mei has always implemented persecution education towards her biological son Liu Xing.

During a meal, Liu Mei complained about Liu Xing’s poor homework, ranking last, and hovering on the edge of passing in chemistry and Chinese.

Xia Donghai saw the advantages of Liu Xing’s results: he did well in mathematics and physics.

Moreover, Liu Xing is very popular with classmates in the class and is rated as outstanding in the "classmate comments".

In addition to his achievements, Xia Donghai also admired Liu Xing’s strong communication skills and adaptability.

This ability is lacking in many children today.

Xia Donghai would protect Xiaoyu’s imagination and encourage him to “think wildly” when he was still young.

Xiao Yu picked up a stone and thought the stone had magical powers.

Liu Xing used stones to do magic tricks, which made Xiaoyu believe in his idea. From then on, he would eat and sleep without leaving the stones.

Xiao Xue and Liu Xing were sarcastic towards Shi Shi, but Xia Donghai kept speaking for Xiao Yu, hoping to keep Xiao Yu's imagination alive.

Xia Donghai even bought a telescope to cultivate Xiaoyu’s interest in astronomy.

Several children of different ages and personalities, Xia Donghai managed to make a bowl of water even.

Truly understand and care about each child, and educate and guide each child with heart. Education is a mutual perfection between parents and children

The drama "Family with Children" has been airing for more than 10 years, and many of the people born in the 1990s who originally watched the drama have become parents.

However, being a "Xia Donghai" type parent is still not out of date.

Education is actually more than just raising children, it is also educating oneself.

Once, Xia Donghai was in a state of anxiety as he rushed to finish his work because he had not finished his work.

At this time, Liu Xing and Xiao Yu had a conflict while fighting for the toilet. Xiao Yu angrily peed on Liu Xing's sheets.

Xia Donghai, who was working impatiently, took all his anger out on Xiao Yu and punished Xiao Yu to wash the sheets.

No matter how good parents are, they will make mistakes, but good parents are better at facing mistakes and summing up experience.

After Xia Donghai took care of his work, he realized that he had made a mistake and took the initiative to apologize to his children in the evening.

Wearing sheets that were accidentally washed by light rain during the day, with a garland on her head, she sang children's songs to coax the children.

He seriously explained the reason for his anger, did not shirk responsibility, and sincerely apologized to the children: "Dad was in a bad mood this morning. He shouldn't have vented his anger on you, so I came here to apologize to you." , You don’t blame dad.”

People will always have tempers and make mistakes, and so will parents. But the correct way of handling it can allow parents and children to grow together, and gain patience, emotional ability, and communication skills...

Educating children is also a process of self-education, and companionship is the realization of growth. premise. After all, a child only grows once, and if it is absent, it can never be made up for.

The famous psychiatrist John Bowlby proposed the "attachment theory": early parents' companionship with their children will allow the children to form an "internal working model" of interpersonal relationships.

To put it simply, when children feel trust and love in early education, they will think that they are worthy of being loved; if they are not accompanied by love, they will have a negative evaluation of themselves.

Parental companionship is crucial.

But companionship does not mean "nanny-style education."

For example, there was a popular joke on the Internet called "There is a kind of coldness that makes your mother think you are cold."

"Nanny-style education" does everything in detail, clearing obstacles and paving the way for children. The sequelae of this is that children are raised to become "giant babies" who find it difficult to live independently.

Parents must know how to let go, know how to leave space for their children, let them keep their own privacy and have their own thoughts, so that their children can develop a sound character.

Companionship and blank space may seem like opposite propositions, but they actually complement each other.

It accompanies children at different stages of growth and requires parents to constantly control and learn.

Education is an eternal proposition, and there is no standard answer to it, but perhaps Xia Donghai's parenting style can serve as a reference answer for parents.