About short English jokes?

Internet is not only indispensable in our life, but also an important channel to relieve stress and mood after work and study. It is precisely because we have such a demand that online jokes can flourish. I carefully collect it for everyone to enjoy and learn!

: death row

There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on death row. They are all in the desert and are about to be executed. First up is the brunette. Shooter count; 1, 2, 3 ... The brunette shouted, "Tornado!" Everyone turned to watch the tornado, and the brunette ran away. Next is the red head. Shooter count; 1, 2,3 ..., Red Head shouted, "Flood!" Everyone turned to watch the flood, and Red Head ran away. The blonde is next. Shooter count; 1,2,3 ..., the blonde shouted, "Fire!"

: brown kidnapping case

A blonde was in financial difficulties, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, caught a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I kidnapped your child. Put10,000 dollars in an ordinary brown bag.

Behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning.

Signed-"Blonde"

She pinned the note in the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park and found10,000 dollars.

A brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she instructed. also

There is a note in the bag:

"This is your money. I don't believe a blonde would

This is for the other one. "

: toilet paper

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are walking along the beach. A seagull flew by and shit on the blonde.

The brunette said in a voice of disgust, "Wait a minute, the bathroom is on the hill. I'll get some toilet paper."

After she left, the blonde began to laugh.

The redhead said, "What's so funny?"

The blonde said, "well, the blonde should be so stupid, look at her." By the time she came back with toilet paper, the seagulls had run far away! "

: urgent news

The blonde came to the office of Western Union and said, "I must send an urgent message to my mother in Europe." The clerk said it was 100 dollars, and she replied, "But I don't have any money ... I have to take a message to her. It's urgent! ... I will make every effort to send her a message. " The clerk replied, "anything?" . "Yes ... anything!" The blonde replied. He took her back to his office and closed the door. He made her kneel before him. "Open my zipper ..." She has. "Take it out. ..... go. " She does the same. She looked up at him with his membership card in her hand. He said, "Well ... Go ahead ... Do it ..." She put her lips close to it and shouted, "Hello? ... mom? "

: Blonde courage

One day, three women went camping-a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly needs to go to the bathroom. She went into the Woods with toilet paper and did her business.

While she was away, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit, sneaked to the blonde, put the internal organs behind her and ran back to the camp. Three minutes later, they heard a scream.

Then they waited for another half an hour, and the blonde came back sweating. She said, "I pulled too hard and pulled my intestines out. But thanks to the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I put them back. "