There is a joke: SMS wishes you a happy face.

There is a joke: SMS wishes you a happy face.

There is a joke: SMS wishes you a happy face.

1, there is a saying: "Fire prevention, theft prevention and girlfriends prevention." Recently, the old lady's boyfriend deeply confirmed this sentence. He took my husband.

2, find a cheap intersection, a Volkswagen and BMW 7 Series are waiting for a red light, and a Jetta on the opposite side goes straight. Looking at it, you will hit the 7 series, hit the public at a turn, and then shout: I rely on Phaeton! Hit the steering wheel and knocked over a small scooter next to it. Jetta owners immediately got off the bus and apologized: "They couldn't afford to hit each other, so they had to hit your scooter, uncle, hehe". As a result, I looked down and the cut cake was scattered all over the floor.

There is a happy whale living in the sea. It loves cleanliness very much. Every day, it showers itself with water. Everyone praises it: talk about hygiene! So he affectionately called it the sanitary whale.

4./kloc-when he was 0/2 years old, he slept with his friends. As a result, I actually wet the bed, and she knows it. I have been deferential to her for so many years. The night before the end of the world, she said that there was something she had never told me, so that I could know the truth before she died. Yes, she did. I can't believe I covered someone else's urine alive. I fucking hate you!

5. Q: I'll give you 1W go to the gate of the community and shout three times: "Sister Furong, I love you". What are you doing? A: You can "shout" but don't "do".

6. When you go downstairs, you can tell Gao Fushuai and Diaosi from the elevator floor. Diaosi is on the first floor, and Gao Fushuai is underground!

7. "Children, who knows that camels are different from other animals?" There was silence. After a little meditation, the teacher further explained, "That is to say, what does a camel have that other animals don't?" The student replied, "Yes, it's a little camel."

8, a simple big boy, eating pitaya for the first time, ate one all night, why? Because, he vomited seeds. ...

9. The Mayans are dying. Alas, they are not as good as Jam Hsiao! (The joke is very funny)

10, I received a leave note this morning, which said, "Teacher, a classmate in our class is invalid because of medical treatment in the school hospital ..." My brain exploded with a bang. Why do people who were alive a few days ago come down now ... I cried for a long time, then picked up the note and suddenly saw, "So I went to the city today to continue my treatment and looked at the teacher.

1 1. A student came into the office and said hello to the teachers: "Hello, Miss Zhao, hello, Miss Li ..." "Why didn't you call me?" "Oh, teacher, I don't know your last name." "Let me give you a hint, Koutian." "Oh ~ ~ Good teacher!" Boy paper, you are so talented! It's a mess

12, "At the end of the world, say what you want, do what you want, and don't leave any regrets for yourself." Last night, a "real" couple in Guangzhou practiced the above-mentioned net text after being a little drunk. Her husband, Peng, told the secret through drinking. "When I fell in love with you, I was still with another girl and often went to the movies for dinner." She was attacked by his wife Ali's bench and had five stitches in her brain contusion.

13, there is a new colleague in the company, who is a big beauty. When I introduced myself again, I said that I had a very masculine name, Liu Changcheng. When a male compatriot heard the word Great Wall, he immediately sounded very heroic. He opened his mouth and said that he would not be a hero if he did not go to the Great Wall. . . . . . . . There was an instant silence, and the new female colleague left with a red face and a low head. Is a mess

14, I have witnessed the children of my mother's friends. As soon as the old lady got the letter, she immediately launched an all-round attack by land, sea and air: let the acquaintances of the public security bureau check the household registration and opening records; Let colleagues in the Education Bureau check the academic performance of primary and secondary schools; Let relatives who work in the bank check the property. When it's time to meet his parents, the old lady knows more about some things than he does.

15. My mother called yesterday and asked if the end of the world was real in the first sentence. I said, "So what if it's true?" She said, "Then come back quickly and kill the pig first."

16, in high school, my deskmate loved to fart. Once, a stench floated by. I asked him, "Did you poison again?" The MM at the front table turned back and said, "His taste is not like this."

17 in the morning, several people go together. A man said, look, there is a dead bird, which probably froze to death last night. Everyone else looked forward, only my brother looked up at the sky: where … I didn't see it …

19. What is the correct way to treat nose hair? Ignore it. Nose hair is very fragile. The longer you pull it, the longer it will be. The correct way is to ignore it and let it fall into despair, thinking that he can't pull me out. Why? Did you stop loving me and finally die in despair? The life span of nose hair is generally half a year, so you can wait patiently for it to fall off naturally. If you show your nostrils, tie them with a rubber band. Never pull it out!

20. Today, when I was sitting in the car, I suddenly saw a beautiful woman. Obviously, I am the only young man in the back row, and there are no other men. The conductor said that people who got on the bus would buy tickets. When I got to the beauty, she took out 3 quick money and said that I was nervous behind the handsome guy. I quickly said thank you. But the beauty turned to ignore me, and her son was behind, which was a tragedy.

2 1, teacher: Xiao Ming, explain what rounding is? Xiaoming: Sell the iPhone 4 and buy an iPhone 5! Teacher: Yes. . . . .