It's easy to make jokes if you don't study.

What do children fear most? Lost the toy? Is there anything delicious? No, the things that children are most worried about and afraid of are all related to their parents, and you are the most important thing in their hearts. Read more about what children are worried about, and then be careful not to do it again, and don't hurt their hearts again.

Mom and dad quarreled.

A children's psychological research institute has conducted psychological surveys on more than 3,000 school-age children. One of them is "What do you fear most about Mom and Dad?" The most frequently answered is: "I fear most about Mom and Dad getting angry and quarreling with them."

One answer sheet is vividly written: "I am most afraid of my father being angry." He looks fierce when he is angry! My mother was angry and I cried. I'm scared like a little mouse. My heart is pounding and I can't eat ... "

Mom and dad lost their temper again.

Children, like crayon Shinchan, are playing tricks again. When you urge him ten times and he still doesn't move, parents who have worked hard all day often can't control their emotions and yell at their children.

Losing your temper with children will really scare them. In fear, the behavior of children disturbing their parents is temporarily out of sight. But what will happen to him? There are several possibilities:

Obediently listen to your command and do anything you ask;

He was stunned and stood there motionless;

Cry and stop doing what you don't want him to do or what you want him to do;

Learn from you, get angry, and throw your beloved vase on the ground.

Children are very sensitive to people's emotions. Therefore, if parents lose their temper, it will definitely affect their children's behavior and emotions.

However, children still can't figure out why their parents lose their temper. In other words, when many parents lose their temper, the children stop their parents' unexpected behavior, but they don't know what they did wrong.

In life, it's best not to lose your temper with your child, but if you really lose your temper with your child carelessly, you'd better explain to your child what the child's problem is and what to do, and let your child feel your care and love through actions.

If possible, you'd better give a warning before losing your temper, such as: "I can't help losing my temper, you can hurry up …" "I'm in a bad mood today, you'd better not …". But don't relax your requirements for your child because of the guilt after losing your temper. We must stick to what we stand for.

Eccentric, can't give children the same love.

You should still remember the plot of the hit movie Tangshan Earthquake a few years ago:

In Tangshan earthquake, a pair of children were crushed under the same concrete slab. Faced with the difficult choice of saving only one, the mother reluctantly chose her son Fonda. Fortunately, her daughter Deng Fang also survived and was adopted as an adopted daughter by a PLA couple.

However, the daughter is disgusted with her mother's eccentricity and the sentence "save her brother". She went through a lot outside and suffered a lot. She didn't want to go home to recognize her relatives and was separated from her family for 32 years.

Parents' prejudice makes some children grow up in their parents' corner. Children with the same parents have different pocket money, clothes and travel ... which will bring a shadow to their growth.

A large number of studies have found that parents' preference will have a negative impact on children's mental health and cause behavioral problems for children, adolescents and even adults. Even if they have lived away from home for many years and established their own family, the influence still exists.

Moreover, whether it is a spoiled child, a neglected child or a child on the sidelines, as long as they realize their mother's eccentricity, they will be hurt. Children who are left out will resent their mothers or children who are favored, while children who are favored will arouse the hatred of their brothers and sisters.

Parents broke their promises and lied.

Parents are not trustworthy, mostly because of their studies. Some parents verbally promise certain conditions around their studies, but when their children meet their parents' requirements, their parents push from pillar to post.

For example, some parents say: hurry up and watch TV after finishing homework, but when children finish homework, parents will leave some learning tasks for their children to continue their studies; Some parents promised their children that they would be rewarded as long as their test scores reached the top. The children did well in the exam, but they didn't get the rewards they deserved.

Children hate that their parents make promises easily but don't keep them. They broke their promise and teased themselves.

At the same time, parents' words don't count, which not only loses prestige in children's minds, but also is not conducive to children's growth and even affects their image.

Let children who have not formed the concept of keeping promises feel that a person can be irresponsible when he speaks and can not do what he promises others. In this way, children can easily develop the bad habit of "recklessness" and "no credit". As adults, this habit of "breaking promises" will make them lose many friends and opportunities.

Be a trustworthy parent, don't make promises easily, and don't make wishes casually; Don't just agree to the child's request in order to achieve the immediate goal; When a child makes a request, he should seriously consider whether this request is reasonable and can be realized. If it is reasonable and can be honored, he must make a serious commitment and honor it.

Friends who don't welcome children

When children grow up, they also want to have a few sincere friends to share joys and sorrows with themselves. I believe that mothers should also want their children to have good interpersonal relationships.

But some parents may dislike their children's friends because they are impolite, too calculating, or bully others and lie.

But for children, with the gradual development of body and mind, I hope parents will treat their children as "adults" and respect their independent opinions when choosing friends.

If parents always discipline and express their antipathy to their children's good friends intermittently or continuously, it will inevitably cause their children's antipathy, thus gradually widening the gap between the two sides.

Parents should respect their children's choice of good friends. Parents should treat their children's good friends from their children's point of view, be good at changing roles and thinking, and respect and protect their children's choices.

Parents should acknowledge the differences with their children in choosing friends and respect them. Sometimes give children enough face, and children will give their parents enough face.

It is one of the most basic relationships for children to establish good friendship with others. We should respect children's free choice according to their own wishes and preferences.

Neglect the advantages of children.

In real life, parents often compare the shortcomings of their children with the advantages of other children, and even over-beautify and exaggerate the advantages of other children. They want to set an example for their children, but in fact they have brought great harm to them and even affected their lives.

Every child has his strengths and advantages. Although children have different talents, they learn things quickly and slowly, and their academic performance is high and low, but judging a child's quality can't just look at one aspect.

As parents, we can't think that children are inferior to others and have no future just by their looks and grades. Instead, we should be good at discovering their advantages and their differences, always believe that our children are excellent, leave the praise to our children, and let them continue to carry forward their advantages and strengths in your praise.

Accuse the child in front of the guests.

People come and go, friends and relatives get together and talk about children, which often becomes one of the important topics.

Many parents like to expose their children's shortcomings in front of everyone, as if complaining to others about how difficult it is to educate such children.

But I don't know. I just blame him for his shortcomings, which virtually makes children feel that they can't do anything. No one appreciates him, such as learning, looks, communication, housework, making his family suffer for him, feeling that his parents are dissatisfied with themselves and gradually alienating them.

From the above seven things that children are afraid of their parents, it is not difficult to see that a good parent and family in children's minds should be a friendly, relaxed, tolerant, democratic and lively atmosphere. On the contrary, their biggest headache is the cold, nervous, dull, bossy and lifeless family.