A humorous joke sentence

1, a woman's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make a woman cry, which means you are useless.

2. If my life is a movie, you are a pop-up advertisement.

Your rival in love and the person who betrayed you fell into the river at the same time. They can't swim. Do you choose disco or KTV?

Two cows are eating grass. One of them said; "Recently mad cow disease epidemic. We will not be infected, will we? " The other end of the phone said; "No, we are kangaroos." Already crazy!

The only difference between a friend and an assassin is that the assassin stabbed you in the back, and you turned around and said painfully, Ah, who are you? A friend stabbed you in the back, and you turned around and said in surprise, ah, it's you!

If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't put on a blue face because she skipped class. I will sincerely say to her: Good boy, please call me next time you skip class.

7. Don't ask me questions. Baidu knows more than I do. Ask him if you have any questions!

8. I'm here to shout a low-key sentence. I have no time to participate in your past, and I don't want to participate in your future.

9. At first glance, you are not so good. Better take a closer look ...

10, I really don't want to despise you with my toes. But you made me do it!

1 1. Two people are camping. In the evening, A wakes up and B says, What do you think of looking up? B: There are stars all over the sky. The world is so big! I think our tent was stolen.

12, even if you want to cry again, smile and say, damn it!

13, no one looks down on you, because others don't look at you at all, and everyone is busy!

14, plant you in a flowerpot to let you know what vegetables are!

15, Zhang Sheng had lunch with his favorite girl * * *. Suddenly, the girl shouted "Zhang Lang" and Zhang Sheng fainted happily. When he woke up, he found half a cockroach in his bowl.

16, dare to admit mistakes and resolutely do not change.

17, two drunks are driving. A: Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. B: What? Don't you drive?

A Dai failed in the exam, so he sent a telegram to his brother asking his father to get ready. After a while, my brother called back: Dad is ready. Now please be prepared.

19, a golfer swung several times and missed the ball, killing many ants nearby. Seeing this, the ant king said to his panicked companion, Come with me! All we have to do is climb on the ball, and we will be fine.

20. I don't tidy my room. I am a beauty in a messy room.

2 1, snowflakes are floating in the cold sky, ice stubble is hanging on the green tree, and beautiful shoes are exposed. You are a fool.

I don't have time to play with you. Big names like me are full this year. I have many movies, TV programs and advertisements to watch.

23, two ears don't smell things outside the window, just watch soap operas.

24. There are three kinds of people in the world: those whose conscience is eaten by dogs, those whose conscience is not eaten by dogs, and those whose conscience doesn't even eat dogs.

25, I said big brother, I'm not a straw boat, you mean you don't have to send it to me all the time!

26. Bajie: Brother Monkey, my name is Sai Pan An, and many beautiful women are waiting for me! Wukong: Unless you surf the Internet, you idiot.

27. You think you are redundant, but in fact … you are really redundant!

28. After two people break up completely, either party sends a message every year to send a blessing on the other party's birthday to prove that: You see, although we broke up, I still remember you, even your birthday. It's totally unnecessary bullshit. Do you regard people as martyrs' cemeteries?

29. It's not that I don't fold the quilt, mainly because I miss the past, or I like the quilt that I slept the day before. I have to raise this living habit problem to personality cultivation.

30. When will there be a bright moon? Ask heaven for wine. Blue sky said: get out, I am so busy, how can I have time to talk to you and watch the weather forecast by myself!

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