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I want a joke or comic

1? A certain gentleman stayed in a hotel and called the bar in the middle of the night: How much does the cheapest girl cost? Answer: "One hundred, but ugly, five hundred for beautiful." A certain gentleman said he wanted an ugly one. After the young lady came, a gentleman asked her to sit naked on the sofa, then went to bed and slept soundly until dawn. The young lady was puzzled and asked: "Why did you call me here?" A gentleman replied: "There are too many mosquitoes in the room!"? (This story shows that as long as I change my mind, any resources can be used for me.)? 2. A woman is extremely ugly , all ghosts run away when they see them. A poor designer made it into a New Year picture. The slogan reads: Hang it on the door to avoid evil; hang it on the bedside to prevent pregnancy! This designer won a prize and entered the well-off class. ? 3. When a mosquito enters the city, it makes you very hungry. Seeing a young lady with tall breasts, she dived in and bit into her mouth. As a result, her mouth was full of silicone. So she looked up to the sky and sighed: "Oh, food safety is such a problem! Where can I find safe milk?"? 4. Farmers go to the city to buy it. Condoms, I forgot what to say about condoms. I wandered around the drugstore counter for a long time and still couldn't remember it. Finally, I had to ask the saleswoman in a low voice: Miss, do you sell plastic bags for JB? ? 5. 6. A group of women were waiting for B-ultrasound examination. The nurse shouted: It’s ready. Those with color B will stand on the left; those with black and white B will stand on the right. One woman didn't understand, so she lifted up her skirt and took off her underwear, and asked the nurse: What do you think mine is? The nurse said angrily: You are a jerk! ? 7. The hen complained to the bull: "Humans ask me to lay more eggs, but I plan my own birth. This is so unfair!" The old bull said: "What the hell are you doing? People all over the world drink my wife's milk. , Who the hell calls me daddy?"? 8. A blind couple agreed to make love. The man said: "Play cards." The woman said: "Start." The young man next door often heard about playing cards and thought about how blind people play cards. ? So I took a peek and saw that it was like this. One day, the young man sneaked into the blind man's house while he was out, and said to the blind woman, "Play cards." The blind woman said, "Start." So the two had sex. The young man had great abilities, and at the climax, the blind woman repeatedly praised: "Good cards." At night, the blind man wanted to play cards with his wife again, and the blind woman said, "Didn't you play once during the day?" Upon hearing this, the blind man said again Anxious and angry, she exclaimed: "No, someone stole the license plate!"? 9. The female leader returned home at night and was suddenly put in the car by two men. One man threatened: "Be honest, you are a robber." The female leader laughed and scolded her after hearing this. He said: "Damn it, I was so nervous about such a happy thing. I was scared to death. I thought I was cheated!" 10. The car married the train, but they got divorced soon after. Everyone asked why, and Qi Qi said sadly: "He worries about me getting hit every day, and I am always afraid that he will cheat on me. I can't stand it!" ? 11. A certain village chief wore shorts to give a report. When he got excited, he put one foot Putting it on the table, the little brother accidentally exposed it, and there was an uproar below. He thought everyone was impatient, and said: This is the height, the longer one is still behind! ? 13. Three men talked about their sexual abilities together. A: I do it once every three days! B: I do it three times a day! A had to admit defeat, but when C spoke, even B was frightened. C: Three days at a time...? 14. A tough man was taking the bus home. The kind-hearted female conductor saw that his zipper was not closed and reminded him. Said: Comrade, your gun is not placed properly, be careful of misfire. The macho man smiled and said: It doesn't matter, the bullets have just been fired. ? 15. One day, the father took his son to take a bath. The son accidentally fell from the top and grabbed the father's lower part in desperation. The painful father yelled and cursed: If you follow your mother, I will fall to death.