A humorous story or joke.

A humorous story or joke. In daily life, we can read more humorous stories or jokes in our spare time, which can make our mood happy and full of vitality. Next, I will take you to know more stories or jokes about humor.

Humorous stories or jokes 1

1. A fat man and a thin man are driving through the mountains. The car broke down and no one came to repair it until this afternoon. Two hungry people climbed two mountains and finally found a remote town. There is a small restaurant in the town, but they walked into one, came out, walked into another and came out again ... Finally, they were so hungry that the thin man begged: "Director, no invoice, no invoice!" "

Xiao Li of the hospital came to the dean with a sad face. Xiao Li said, "Dean, I want to resign. I can't stand it. "

Dean: "What's the matter, young man? You did a good job in the urine test department. Why did you resign? "

Xiao Li: "As you know, I just changed my job, and my previous professional habits made me unsuitable for a urine test!" " "

Dean: "What did you do?"

Xiao Li: "wine taster"

Dean: "Ouch ~"

3. Talk to my colleagues. The photos taken before were beautiful, but now they are getting uglier and uglier. Colleagues simply said: Now the pixels are getting higher and higher.

Water has been cut off for several days, and everyone can only use bottled water for everything. A female colleague thought bottled water was expensive and useless, and said, "I just opened a bucket to wash my face, and there was only half a bucket left!" " Another colleague said, "water is still very useful, but your face is big!" " "

5. Me: "Waiter, the steak I ordered has been over half an hour, and it's not ready yet? It's already midnight 1 1 point! "

Attendant: "Don't worry, sir. Our store is open 24 hours a day. "

I ...

I went to the bank to withdraw money. After a limited operation time, my bank card was swallowed. I was in a state of ignorance at that time. The staff told me: beauty, you can just go to the counter tomorrow ... I said: it swallowed my card and there is not much money in it. I'll wait, maybe it will dislike having no money and spit it out for me. ...

The staff said: it has a good appetite and is not picky about food. It tastes great! Don't worry, you can never eat too little meat!

7. In high school, my deskmate was a beautiful sister paper, and my hands were frostbitten and festered in winter. At that time, the school brought its own lunch box to cook and washed it after eating. I think her hands are poor. I washed her lunch boxes for two winters.

One night when she was studying by herself, she whispered in my ear, "Would you like to wash my lunch box for life?" As soon as I heard it, I got angry: "It was agreed that I would wash it in winter, you would wash it in summer, and you would wash it? Still want to lie to me to wash for a lifetime, dreaming!

8. Before Mulan joined the army for her father, she bought horses in Dongshi, saddles in Xishi, reins in Heather and whips in Beishi. Hearing this, the general asked, "Mulan, are you disguised as a man?" Mulan asked in surprise, "How does the general know?" The general said, "Men don't go to four markets in a row to buy this."

9. When I came back from the night shift and stopped at the first floor, I heard a child crying in the room, and his mother lied to him that there was a ghost outside. In the spirit of helping others, I screamed in horror and both of them cried.

10, Male A: My blood type is B, so is my wife's blood type, and I gave birth to a baby. Man b: the child won't be type 2 b.

2 humorous stories or jokes 1

1, robber: "Tell me the safe password! I will kill you if I don't tell you! "

Female employee: "Don't say it! Kill me and don't say anything! Even if you spoil me, I won't tell you! ! "

The robber looked the female staff up and down and scolded, "You want to be beautiful!" "

2. A reporter went to Antarctica to interview 100 penguins! Ask these penguins what they are doing all day!

The first one said, "Eat, sleep and beat peas."

The second said, "Eat, sleep and beat peas."

I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said, "Eat and sleep."

The reporter asked, "Why don't you fight peas?"

Penguin said, "Shit, I'm Doudou."

Zhao Benshan rode a donkey into town and happened to meet Fan Wei!

Wei Fan asked, "Have you eaten?"

Zhao Benshan said, "Eat!"

Fan Wei proudly said, "I asked the donkey, what did you say!" "

Zhao Benshan turned and fanned the donkey twice and scolded, "There are relatives in the city who don't say anything."

the second

1, 22 years in the first half, rejected three times, rejected twice, and now leads 3: 2. ...

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then I should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

If you want to live with me, you must live with me first! I'm yellow after I survive. I'm so crazy! I'll be there when it's over. I'm so cool. I'll throw it away when I'm done. I'll put it off!

4. Zhuge Liang in the west played a song, which was lingering and heard 150,000 Wei Jun outside the city. Zhuge Liang: "Thank you, please give me one or two tickets." Wei Jun got a fright, and suddenly, no one hundred and fifty thousand people escaped. ...

5. Rivers and lakes are surging. Those who are good at making knives fight their way out are called swordsman; A man who is famous for his sword is called a swordsman; In Shui Mu, people who like to pour water with a ladle are called ... Hehe:)

6. Buddha said that color is empty, and empty is color. Tonight, I want to be free ...

7. They published the Diamond Sutra, the earliest book for treating impotence in China.

They published the earliest book on physiology in China-The Book of Changes.

They built the earliest Beijing in China! -] Branch Library-Tibet Pavilion

They worship 500 exhibitionists-500 naked men.

They named a bodhisattva Guanyin with a perverted behavior.

They are: monks.

8. He wandered around the campus and she passed by. Beautiful back, he couldn't help shouting: "You are so beautiful, please stay!" "She looked back and he stared. As a result, two people died together-she was ugly and he was scared to death; He is so ugly that she laughs to death. ...

9. The negotiator sent by the school panted and climbed onto the roof of the main building. I pushed the "glock 18" in my hand to the hostage's temple, and he took two steps back in fear. "Please don't hurt the hostages. We can consider any request! " "It's very simple. Repair the broken road at the bridgehead of Xishan Mountain, manage the school's black shop, improve the hygiene of the canteen, postpone the lights-out time of the dormitory, and reduce the water price of the bathhouse ... ""Ok, wait, I'll go back and ask for instructions. " The negotiator went downstairs. About a cigarette later, he returned to the rooftop and shouted from a distance, "You'd better shoot, we won't sue you ..."

10, keep pace with the times, and you and I * * * will reach the climax!